Chapter 103: Eighteen Sorrows Tongue Twister
"Just now, the owner of Deyun Society, Guo Degang, and the two actors Yu Qian, performed a crosstalk show learning opera for you!" Qi Long commented.
"Eh!"
"The tone is so high that their faces are all red. Let them get some oxygen backstage!" Qi Long said casually.
"Is oxygen okay?"
"It's our turn to continue the performance for you, two brothers. To be honest, we were both quite nervous when we knew you were coming to Tianjin to perform!" Qi Long said in a calm tone, as if chatting casually.
Dong Qiang: “Yes!”
"This is the hometown of folk art, and it's said that everyone can tell crosstalk! You see, in other places, when a baby is about to be born, the nurse will come out and tell the family members: Congratulations, the baby cries loudly, it's very healthy, it's a boy!"
"Hey, congratulations on the birth of your baby!"
"Tianjin is different now. When a baby is born in Tianjin Hospital, the nurse comes out and tells the family: Congratulations. The baby cries and is very healthy. It's a great supporting actor!" Qi Long got rid of the burden.
Although there are many audiences from other places in Deyun’s commercial performances, there are still more audiences from Tianjin.
Every day they deeply experience the stereotype that people across the country have about them, that is, people from Tianjin are born to tell crosstalk.
So this joke is very close to their lives, so they laughed naturally.
"The family members are angry!" Qi Long continued.
Dongqiang didn't understand: "Why are you still angry?"
"What's there to congratulate?"
Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long and said, "Hey, what happened to you?"
Qi Long quickly explained: "It wasn't me who said that. It was the old man who said that. The main reason is that the old man is a funny guy. He hopes that his grandson will inherit his career."
Dong Qiang reluctantly nodded: "Is that the case?"
"The old man is angry. What's there to congratulate for being a supporting actor? When I meet my old friends at home later, I will tell them that my grandson (referring to Dong Qiang) is a supporting actor. I can't even hold my head up."
"Go!" Dongqiang raised his hand and kicked.
At this moment, the audience burst into laughter. Several old men who had listened to many crosstalks had their frowned brows raised and they laughed, their beards trembling.
Ethical jokes are a timeless and effective means of comedy.
Qi Long covered his thigh that was kicked by Dong Qiang and said, "Why are you so anxious? I mean where is that old man!"
"Just say it, why are you pointing at me?"
"Can't two people interact with each other during crosstalk?"
"Point over there!"
"Okay, okay, my grandson is a supporting actor."
Dong Qiang wondered: "It still sounds awkward."
"My family comforted him, saying that the funny man and the supporting man are all the same, and we can't discriminate. It's good to be a supporting man, and we can find a good funny man to follow him in the future. Let the funny man work hard outside the table, and our supporting man can just hang around inside the table, and we can earn money."
"What do you mean by mixing it up?"
Qi Long ignored him: "If you give birth to a supporting actor, you don't need to buy a car, a house, or go to school. The funny ones are all money-losing ones! How good is it for us to be supporting actors?"
This is ironic. It's not about the funny man and the straight man. If you think about it, you will know that it is about a family that favors boys over girls. The old man doesn't look down on the straight man, he looks down on the girl!
The phenomenon of favoring boys over girls still exists today, and many people believe that it is useless for girls to go to school and that they can just marry anyone in the future.
Qi Long is just using flattery to make fun of others!
Gao Dongqiang also understood: "The best way for you to say it is to be funny and supportive!"
"It's the funny guy and the supporting actor!"
"What do you mean you don't have to go to school?"
"You guys only have a few lines to sing, but we, the funny guys, have to learn everything!" Qi Long shouted confidently.
"We, the supporting actors, have to learn too. We will learn everything you learn."
This is the classic way of "fighting" in crosstalk. I say you are not good enough, and you say I am better than you, and then the two of us start competing with each other.
Making couplets and solving riddles are all played in this way.
Today, the two will compete in the field of tongue twisters.
Dongqiang will first talk about a simple and common "Stewed Frozen Tofu".
Qi Long said that he couldn't say this, but he couldn't say his own tongue twisters well either.
"My tongue twister is: My dad is my dad, my son is my son, I am my dad's son, I am my son's dad!"
"Is this a tongue twister? It's not a tongue twister!" Dongqiang was puzzled.
Qi Long: "If you have the ability, then learn it. But speak it quickly." Qi Long said and repeated it quickly.
Dong Qiang started to speak, Qi Long asked him to speed up, and Dong Qiang smoothly pronounced it wrong, saying "My father is my son" which caused laughter.
"Unfilial son!" Qi Long was proud.
Gao Dongqiang was a little embarrassed: "Then it's a tie, I'll have another one!"
He came up with: [Hanging a knife at the door, the knife is hanging upside down]
"Why is there a knife hanging at the door? Aren't you afraid that it will fall and pierce your head?"
"Why do you care what he's doing with the knife hanging? Just do this!"
"I can't come. Listen to me. My father is my father. He is my son."
"Stop, you've already said it, one trick can make you successful everywhere?" Dong Qiang stopped him.
Qi Long: "Then should I change one?"
"I have to change one!" "My dad is my dad, my kid is my kid, I am my dad's kid, I am my kid's dad"
"Isn't it the same? Just admit defeat, it's not shameful. Be polite and behave properly when you see us next time. I won't bother with you!"
Qi Long shook his hands: "I was just joking with you. If I showed my real skills, you would be scared to death on the spot. How can we still compete?"
"Hey, I still don't believe it. Can you show me what it is?"
"I know a tongue twister of "Eighteen Sorrows". As far as I know, I am the only one in the country who knows this tongue twister of "Eighteen Sorrows"!"
Dongqiang has already spoken: [If we want to talk about sorrow, let’s just talk about sorrow and sing a tongue twister of Eighteen Sorrows. Tigers are also worried, wolves are also worried, elephants are also worried, and deer are also worried.]
This tongue twister talks about the worries of 18 kinds of animals. It first details the 18 animals, and then explains in detail what the animals are worried about at the end.
For example, [the tiger is worried about not being able to get down the mountain, the wolf is worried about being cunning, the elephant is worried about being silly and thick-skinned, and the deer is worried about having a pair of big horns]
Let me tell you all about the worries of these eighteen animals.
Dongqiang also spoke tongue twisters very well, with clear pronunciation and crisp voice. After he finished this relatively long tongue twister, everyone applauded.
Several old men were a little confused. It wasn't right. The "Eighteen Sadness Tongue Twister" was the basis of the crosstalk. The funny man finished the tongue twister after nearly eight minutes. How come the supporting actor got the job done?
Isn't this funny guy capable of this?
Dong Qiang asked: "How is it?"
"Your version is the new Eighteen Sadnesses, which was revised by the old master. I'm talking about the old version of Eighteen Sadnesses. I'm the only one in the country who can do it. I have to recite it while beating the clappers."
"Why don't I believe it?" Gao Dongqiang said, "Then I'll accompany you!"
The two of them took out the clappers together. Qi Long played first, and Dong Qiang played the flower. Then the rhythm slowed down and became the same rhythm. Qi Long said to the microphone:
[The coldest days of winter are chilly, and the next spring is coldest]
"Wait a minute, isn't it Shibachou?"
"It's right behind, don't worry."
This tongue twister is about counting festivals, starting from the coldest days of winter all the way to August 15th when Chang'e was sad.
[If we want to talk about sorrow, let’s talk about sorrow. Here is a tongue twister of the Eighteen Sorrows: The sky is worried, the earth is worried, the mountain is worried, the water is worried, the king is worried, and the ministers are worried]
This is a different "Eighteen Sadnesses". In fact, this is the original tongue twister. However, in that period decades ago, the words "king and minister" could not be said. In order to ensure the smooth performance of crosstalk, the crosstalk predecessors changed them all into "animal sorrows".
Nowadays, these words are not as taboo as they were back then, so Qi Long just used them.
Audiences who have only started to pay attention to crosstalk in recent years may not understand it, and may not even have heard the animal version of Shi Ba Chou. They just think that what Qi Long and Dong Qiang say is good.
But it’s different for the older generation who listen to crosstalk. Although their eyes aren’t so blurred with tears, they still look sighing.
You can still listen to this old version of "Eighteen Sadnesses" in your lifetime!
This version of the Eighteen Worries includes worries about old age, youth, good, evil, poverty, wealth, etc., as well as four animals.
Unlike the animal version, in which the animals worry about their living environment and their appearance, this version is about real worries, and the lyrics are written from the perspective of ordinary people.
[The sky is worried about not getting the sweet dew rain, the earth is worried about not getting a good harvest, the mountain is worried about the woodcutters chopping down the trees, the water is worried about not being able to flow to the end, the king is worried about the war, the minister is worried about losing his job.]
The old worry about no one to take care of them, the young worry about gray hair, the poor worry about having no money to spend, the rich worry about having their money stolen
The lyrics are relatively easy to understand, but it falls to Niu Chou.
[The cow is so worried that the cold wind blows back and forth, and the cow becomes old. The old cow is put into the soup pot and slaughtered. The cowhide is covered with a drum with thousands of nails.]
Cow hide is used to sit on drums, beef is sold as meat, organs are used as toppings, bones are used to make mahjong, and broken bones are made into dice.
After finishing this passage of "Eighteen Sadnesses", Qi Long left a large breathing hole.
The tongue twister was performed in a quick-paced manner, with neither fast nor slow movements. Dongqiang helped him catch his breath at that time.
"You are really good at making up stories. You talked about the eighteen worries and now you are talking about mahjong?"
Qi Long continued to talk: [You say I am lying, I am lying, when I have nothing to do I just talk nonsense, there are sixty-six alleys in our area, and there lives a sixty-six-year-old Liu Laoliu]
The second long tongue twister after Eighteen Sorrows, Qi Long called it "Sixty-Six"!
You must have all heard the short tongue twister "The eagle flew, the rabbit ran, the vinegar was spilled, the cloth was lost". This long tongue twister has a similar structure.
Let me first introduce that the quantifier for objects and animals such as Old Liu’s tall building, osmanthus oil, green crepe, etc. is sixty-six.
Then a dog came, and the dog also had tongue twisters.
[This dog looks so familiar. It looks like the head, eyes, ears, tail, and lion dog of my aunt’s house.]
Next is the tongue twister about the dogs at Erda Mama's house, two dogs fighting over a bone:
[Scared away sixty-six big monkeys, frightened sixty-six big blue cows, broke sixty-six sandalwood axles, toppled sixty-six tall buildings, spilled sixty-six baskets of osmanthus oil, oiled sixty-six pieces of green crepe, and soiled sixty-six big pompoms.]
After finishing this section, Qi Long did not pause and continued to ask and answer questions continuously.
There were twenty-seven questions including "What's the squeaky sound when going up the mountain, and what's the nodding sound when going down the mountain?"
After saying all this, he answered his own questions: "A car squeaks and twists when it goes up a hill, and a lame man nods his head when he goes down a hill."
Next came "Ten Black Lines", "Pink Girl and Pink Girl", "Fat and White Eight-Pound Chicken", etc.
At the beginning, the audience was looking for opportunities to applaud, but later they were dumbfounded. They kept talking for eight minutes without stopping, and all they said were difficult words. I'm afraid they wouldn't be able to recite them all. But they recited them together with such rhythm that it was like telling a story and the listeners felt very comfortable.
This is real kung fu, and the audience is convinced.
Later, Qi Long said he was excited and kept talking without taking a long breath. Dong Qiang stood sideways and looked at him with a smile until Qi Long talked for eight minutes straight to the end.
[The seven branches bore seven kinds of fruits: betel nut, orange, tangerine, persimmon, plum, chestnut, and pear!]
After that, Dongqiang raised his thumb and shouted with the audience: "Good!"
Qi Long had already turned around and ran backstage.
"Why are you going?"
"Breathe oxygen!" Qi Long shouted loudly.
"Curtain call!" Dong Qiang shouted loudly.
The two men bowed, and the audience roared "good" and clapped hard, including some elderly grandfathers.
To be honest, Qi Long and Dong Qiang took it too seriously. They didn't expect that tickets are now purchased online and basically all the audiences are young people. This is like dropping a bomb.
This effect is extremely normal.
It would be too simple to write out the entire tongue twister, so the author decided to write it in batches. The tongue twisters that mention the name but not the specific content will be placed in appropriate places in the novel in batches later. Thank you everyone!
(End of this chapter)
