Chapter 136 Crosstalk: "Debate with Foreigners"
Qi Long finally couldn't avoid fitness. Under Dong Qiang's strict guidance, he collapsed on the ground several times due to exhaustion. After he finally finished the training, he screamed in pain when the fascia gun pressed on him again.
Dongqiang said that the pain now will go away in the next few days, otherwise his muscles will be sore for several days, which is so uncomfortable!
With the fascia gun, the pain in the back is not so severe anymore.
"It's just like that, it hurts for a while, but then you feel good afterwards?" Qi Long asked curiously.
"What?" Dong Qiang pretended to know: "We are filming a video, don't talk nonsense."
"I'm talking about stretching the shoulders. Those who dance or practice martial arts all stretch their shoulders. If you press hard, your back will hurt with a click, but you'll feel comfortable for the whole day. Hey, what are you thinking about that you can't tell others?" Qi Long asked in return.
Dongqiang thought about it for a while and responded quickly: "I was thinking of stepping on the hips, and it would also make my legs feel comfortable for the whole day!"
"Oh!"
"Moreover, after the fascia gun injection, muscle soreness recovers quickly and you can get back to training. If you train like this for six months in a row and eat more high-quality protein, your muscles will grow and you won't look so thin anymore!" Dong Qiang recommended.
Qi Long is not very interested in this. He thinks that being healthy is enough, and there is no need for bodybuilding.
"Damn, Dong Qiang, your fitness method is too strong! I don't need to be that strong!"
"Which bastard?" Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long.
The two looked at each other and laughed together.
This video has some prelude at the beginning, the training in the middle is the real work, and there is also a small reversal that seems to be in the real work but is actually not.
Now, hey, there is a bottom!
"Hahahahaha!"
Just this fitness experience, if you make some changes and add some more jokes, it can be used as a crosstalk.
In Shanxi Province, Qi Long and Dong Qiang are back after a long journey. In this Deyun New Year's Eve special, Qi Long and Dong Qiang are responsible for the Shanxi Province show. The two of them are the finalists and their second in line are crosstalk actors of the same generation, Liu Chunshan and Liu Jiji, who are also experienced crosstalk actors.
This performance will last from 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock, and will be connected with the other four cities. Qi Long and Dong Qiang are the main players. Of course, it will not be over just to accumulate the bottom. They have three programs.
There were two crosstalk performances and one group crosstalk. In the first show, the two brothers were the third to perform.
In front of them, the opening show was "Couplet" by Zhang Jiunan and Gao Jiucheng. Zhang Jiunan's performance style, like a wild dog on a loose rein, started the show smoothly.
The next show was a crosstalk performed by four nephews called "Four-Character Linked Sounds", which means they told a story, and the last four words had to be connected together to form a story.
For example: He Tang eats sugar, which is saccharified into syrup. As soon as it enters the mouth, the sugar burns the chest.
That is to say, when Meng Hetang ate candy, the sugar turned into syrup after heating. It was too hot when he ate it, and when he spit it out, the sugar fell onto his chest. The candy burned Meng Hetang's chest. This is called four-character liaison.
This crosstalk was originally written by Liu Chunshan, using some traditional characters.
In the Deyun quiz, Qi Long suggested changing the story to characters from the Deyun Society.
Sure enough, the people who came to see Deyun found these four-character liaisons made up based on Deyun's name fresh and interactive.
In addition to the sugar-scalded Tangtang, there are also salt-pickled Yanyan (salt got into Lang Heyan's eyes), Yueyue Geyue (Yueyue vomited all over Sun Yue), and Guoguo wrapped fruit (after Yue Yunpeng vomited, Guo Degang passed by and said not to waste it, and he passed by and ate a fruit.)
The on-site effect was very good and the place became lively immediately.
The excited audience became even more excited when they heard that the next performer would be Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang.
Although the six actors in the two shows just now were very good, the main reason why people bought tickets was because of Qi Long and Dong Qiang.
The two brothers came on stage and bowed deeply. Qi Long introduced the actors in front: "Those were my four nephews, Lu Hebiao, Zhuang Zijian, Guan Jiuhai, and Zhang Xiaobai!"
"The four of them!"
"They performed a four-character rhyme, which brought a moment of laughter to everyone. Let them go down and have a rest. It's our turn to perform a crosstalk for you!"
"It's our turn!"
"Some of you may know us, but some may not. We need to introduce ourselves, and we should use the four-character syllable form!"
If someone continues the conversation and says it's the same job, it's not just digging up the work, it's just continuing the conversation.
"There's a giant dragon in the sky, with thunder and lightning, and I'm on the ground, the dragon is rumbling and the dragon is deaf!"
Gao Dongqiang was puzzled after hearing this: "What does this mean?"
"A giant dragon passed by in the sky. As the dragon passed by, there were lightning and thunder. I happened to be on the ground at the time. The thunder made my ears ring and I became deaf!"
The audience applauded, which was a continuation of the previous show. There was applause for every word spoken.
"Good!" Dongqiang raised his thumb.
Qi Long pointed at him and said, "It's time to introduce the teacher next to me!"
"It's my turn!"
"Dongqiang entered the girls' dormitory with a gun, stole a pot of roses, and robbed the roses with a gun! What does it mean? Gao Dongqiang brought a gun into the girls' dormitory, stole a pot of roses, and robbed the roses with a gun!" Qi Long explained proudly.
Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Teacher Qi, please wait a moment. I have entered the girls' dormitory with a gun. I just want to grab a pot of flowers?"
Qi Long turned his head and looked at him in surprise: "What else do you want to do?"
Dong Qiang said confidently: "I should at least tear down the wall, right? I've already been convicted of possessing a gun, so it's not too much to tear down another wall, right?"
Just like the two people setting a trap for each other in the gym, they knew that the audience would definitely think of more serious crimes, but Dongqiang did the opposite and said he wanted to tear down the wall?
That's all you can do, hahaha! Everyone started laughing.
"Hey, Teacher Qi, what do you think I want to do?" Dong Zhong asked jokingly, with the same expression as when Qi Long looked at him strangely just now.
Now the question was thrown back to Qi Long, and the audience enjoyed watching the fun.
"I thought you wanted to grab some wall paint!"
"Go!" Dongqiang interrupted with a wave of his hand. Qi Long faced the stage seriously: "This is all fake, Dongqiang doesn't have a gun!" He lowered his head and looked under the table.
Dong Qiang nodded: "Yes"
The audience burst into laughter when they saw Qi Long's actions and words.
Dong Qiang looked at Qi Long in confusion: "What are they laughing at?"
"I don't know either. The audience today is great. They're all laughing even without saying anything!" Qi Long gave a thumbs up to the audience.
Dong Qiang nodded: "This money is so easy to make!"
The two of them act crazy and stupid, allowing the audience to find the funny points through association.
Then they talked about their connection with Shanxi Province. Dongqiang is from Shanxi Province, and Qilong also grew up in Shanxi Province when he was a child. It can be said that Shanxi Province is their second hometown.
"Our Jin Province is great. People say that if you want to see a civilization of 5,000 years, you should go to Shenzhen. If you want to see a civilization of 1,000 years, you should go to the imperial capital. If you want to see a civilization of 1,000 years, you should go to Chang'an. Where can you see a civilization of 5,000 years? You should go to our Jin Province! In the Salt Transport City in the south of our Jin Province, there is a saying on the bus stop!"
"Which one?"
"The city of salt transport, this place was originally called Huaxia!"
"Ouch!"
"Our Shanxi Province is great, with all kinds of cultural relics, such as the Jin Temple, Yungang Grottoes, Ningwu Ice Cave, Guandi Temple, Puji Temple, Hanging Temple, Guanque Tower, Yingxian Wooden Pagoda, Huamen, Pingyao Ancient City, Wang Family Courtyard, Li Family Courtyard, Qiao Family Courtyard, there are relics everywhere!"
This is what the people of Shanxi Province are most proud of. Qi Long quickly named more than a dozen ancient buildings of Shanxi Province as if he were reciting a line of dialogue, making the audience proudly applaud for their hometown.
"I was a little indignant the other day. I met a group of foreigners and had an argument with them. The first one was from Italy. He insisted that their Leaning Tower of Pisa was the most amazing tower in the world!"
"The Leaning Tower of Pisa!" Dong Qiang corrected.
"Never mind the Leaning Tower. I'm not happy with it. The Yingxian Wooden Pagoda is the most impressive one."
Dongqiang nodded repeatedly: "That's right!"
"The foreigners were not convinced and said that their tower was so crooked but still stood up. I said, what's wrong with it standing up? Our tower is made entirely of mortise and tenon joints, without a single nail or screw. It is all the wisdom of the people. It has stood for a hundred years, experienced countless hardships, earthquakes and natural disasters, and still stands tall!"
"it is good!"
"When the foreigner saw that he couldn't compete with us, he started to compare height. He said that if you jumped from the Leaning Tower of Pisa, you would die as soon as you hit the ground! I was able to calm him down. I told him at the time, your tower is nothing compared to our Yingxian Wooden Tower. If you jumped from it, you would die before you even hit the ground!"
Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Huh?"
"Foreigners would ask, how did he die? Did he die of a heart attack?"
"What do you mean?"
Qi Long shouted proudly: "I snorted coldly: Starved to death!"
"Starved to death?" Dongqiang was completely shocked.
This is an answer that no normal person can come up with. I laughed my ass off at the time. How high must it be? Did he starve to death on the way down? How could you come up with that?
"Well, can he beat me? Am I worthy of my mouth? I'm a crosstalk artist, and I make a living with this mouth! The Italian couldn't continue speaking, and the British people came over and said that their food in Britain is delicious, including this Huiling stewed beef!"
“That’s called Beef Wellington!”
"Yes, it's Huiling's stewed beef. I can tell from the sound of it that someone from China brought it here. The person who brought it here should be named Li Huiling, Zhang Huiling, Gao Huiling, or something like that. Do you know how much food we have in China? I won't mention anything else, but the dishes in the Manchu-Han Banquet alone are dozens of times more than the recipes in your country!"
"So many?"
"Yes, the thinnest book in the world is the British cookbook. When I named the dishes, they were all dumbfounded." After saying that, Qi Long started "Name the Dishes"!
It stopped in the middle of reporting, and that's enough to crush you.
"At this time, the people from the Free Country came again. I felt bad when I saw him!"
"what happened?"
"He wants to compete with me in shamelessness. How can I compete?" Qi Long shouted worriedly: "I am a shameless crosstalk artist, but the people in the Free Country are even more shameless than me!"
The audience laughed loudly. Qi Long often satirized foreign countries. This was one of the reasons why they liked Qi Long. It sounded funny and interesting.
"That's incomparable!"
"I preempted him and said I was wrong. There are actually two thinnest books in the world. One is the British cookbook."
Dong Qiang added: "What about the other one?"
"Your Free Country history textbook!"
The audience burst into laughter and applauded.
"Hey, can I let you silence me? Who am I? I'm a crosstalk artist, I make a living by talking. When the man from the Free Country heard this, he looked embarrassed and didn't dare to go up. So his two dogs started barking!"
"This guy is arguing and bringing a dog?"
"Yes, a Korean and a dwarf. The Korean spoke first, saying that Chinese culture was spread from their country!"
"This is shameless!"
"That's right. I was not happy at the time. I said, your place is so small. Do you know that Chinese tourists always return disappointed? Your palace is as big as a Chinese toilet. Your waterfall has less water than Dongqiang peeing!"
Dong Qiang: "What does it have to do with me?"
"I see, your waterfall is built right under the palace. Only when Chinese tourists pee there will your waterfall have flow!"
"Is this the waterfall?"
(End of this chapter)
