Chapter 138: Counting Treasures
How to control the time in "Shu Lai Bao" depends on what business the supporting actor wants to offer. He can talk about a few more of his own businesses, so that the funny man can sing more parts.
Gao Dongqiang was not happy about being called a "bastard" for opening a noodle shop: "Why is he a bastard?"
"It rhymes, it rhymes, it rhymes, face ...
"You can't rhyme like this. Well, I'll avoid you because of this rhyme. I won't open the noodle shop anymore!"
Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang happily: "Then you open a coffin shop?"
As he said this, he started hitting with the board in his hand.
"No, I don't run a coffin shop, I sell popsicles!"
"Selling popsicles? It's so cold, you're selling popsicles?" Qi Long pointed outside.
Dong Qiang: "Don't worry about it, I'm just selling popsicles, get out if you don't have any words!"
"If you don't make money from selling popsicles, you can make money by selling coffins!" Qi Long recommended to him.
Dong Qiang snorted coldly: "Who said popsicles don't make money? Have you heard of the Ice Cream Assassin? That Xue Gao, one costs forty or fifty yuan, and the cost price is only a few yuan!"
"How dark you are!"
"Don't worry about whether I'm black or not, just tell me if you can do it or not."
"Okay!" Qi started clapping: "Just open your mouth and say it!"
[I took a big step forward after being hit by a bamboo clapper. The shopkeeper opened an ice cream shop. Your ice cream is really good. One end is big and the other end is small.]
"Stop, stop, you're speaking like a coffin shop!" Dong Qiang grabbed Qi Long's wrist to stop him.
Qi Long argued with him: "Nonsense, this is the word for ice cream. Look at the ice cream, isn't it smaller at the front and bigger at the back? That's right."
"No, no, no, my ends are equally thick, so you can't use that word anyway!"
Qi Long raised his head and thought, then started to beat the clappers: [Your popsicle is hygienic, it is really made of boiled water and sugar frozen into ice! ]
Dongqiang's eyes widened a little: "Huh?"
"Is this okay?"
"That's a good sentence, please continue!"
Qi Long repeated the words above. When he repeated them for the second time, before he opened his mouth, Dong Qiang answered first: [Boiled water and sugar freeze into ice! ]
After singing, Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long and said, "Don't you have any other lyrics?"
"Did I sing it? You said I had no other words. The rest of my words is frozen into ice!"
[Your popsicle is hygienic, it's just adding flavoring to boiling water! ]
"Flavoring? Yes, many popsicles have it, and mine must have it too!" Dong Qiang nodded silently and motioned Qi Long to continue.
[Eating popsicles, pick up the popsicles and see, they are beans, oranges and bananas, the stuff is good, made of high quality materials, not afraid of the sun, not afraid of burning, it won’t melt if put into the fire, the dead will not be able to survive if they eat it, the living will not be able to bear it if they eat it, and the sick will not be able to get well if they eat it]
"Wait, wait, why are you in the coffin shop again?"
"Why is it a coffin? Just tell me, if you eat this ice cream, will the dead come back to life?"
"It's not a panacea, of course you can't survive!"
"Then this ice cream that won't melt even when it's roasted in the fire looks like it's all held together by glue. Can a living person bear to eat it?"
Dong Qiang nodded thoughtfully: "That's really unbearable!"
"Have patients ever recovered from their illness by eating ice cream?"
"no!"
"So this is a song about your super expensive ice cream whose ingredients are unknown!"
"According to what you said, it's too unethical for me to sell this ice cream. Well, I'll open a bathhouse!"
[Your bathhouse is hygienic, but you really freeze the boiled water and sugar into ice, and even add flavorings to it? ]
"There's an ice bathhouse? Nonsense."
[Your bathhouse is really good. It is big at one end and small at the other. A dead person cannot survive in it.]
"Why is it the coffin again?"
[Your bathhouse is very hygienic, the water is really clean and the craftsmanship is excellent! ]
"That's pretty much it!"
[A big towel was wrapped around the waist, and no one was wrapping the head. There was warm water and hot water. The hotter it got, the more beautiful it became. An old man, 68, entered the pond and laughed. He felt dizzy and blurry, and fell flat on his face. The guy looked out and threw him out! ]
"What's going on?"
"It was so comfortable that I fainted. That means your service is good. How is it? Did you sing well?"
Gao Dongqiang nodded: "That's right, how about this, I'll give you a penny today for the first time ever?"
This is the key sentence, which represents the entry into the next stage. If he goes on to open another shop, he will sing the lyrics of that shop to extend the duration.
"One cent?" Qi Long was surprised. He started to play the clappers:
[Boss, please take a look. I have been singing for a long time and I am sweating. How can I eat with this one cent? I beg the boss to change it! ]
"How much do you want for the exchange?"
Qi Long continued: [You are such a shameless person. I want whatever you give me, including a cotton-padded jacket, an overcoat, an otter hat, leather shoes, a scarf, large gloves, a cool mat, a mosquito net, a large stove, a computer, a phone, a light bulb, a car, a house, cash, and checks. I want even the boss lady’s house!]
"Go!" Gao Dongqiang glared and shouted, "If you keep talking nonsense, I'll beat you up!"
[Big shopkeeper, you are talking big, you are glaring and want to fight, if you want to fight, let's go east, I am afraid of bullying if I fight here, if you want to fight, let's go west, I will tear off your clothes, if you want to fight, let's go north, one on one, you will be defeated for nothing, if you want to fight, let's go south, there are thousands of treasures, the more old fools gather, the more people there are, I will tear down your nest of turtles. ]
Gao Dongqiang raised his hands and said, "If you can't afford to offend me, you can afford to avoid me. I'm closing the door!"
[Dripping, clattering, big shopkeeper, lock the door. You close the door at night to prevent thieves, but who is it for during the day? ]
"What do you care about me?"
[Beat with bamboo clappers, I'm paying close attention, there's probably someone dead inside! ]
"Oh, then I'll open it!" Dongqiang quickly opened his hands.
[The shopkeeper came to the coffin shop with big strides, hitting the bamboo board. The coffin was really good, one end was big and the other was small!] "Why did I go to the coffin shop?"
"Didn't someone die in your family?"
"No one died!"
"Why are you closing the door in broad daylight if no one is dead?" Qi Long asked.
"I'm doing something at home!"
"Funeral?"
"Red event, I'm getting married!"
Qi Long became interested when he heard this: "Then you have to give me money!"
"Then give me a wedding speech!"
[I came at a good time, a wonderful time. I came to celebrate the shopkeeper's wedding. Relatives and friends were celebrating. The shopkeeper stood aside and laughed. We bowed to the earth, to the sky, to the heaven and earth, to the ancestors, to the ancestors, and to the parents. The couple bowed to each other and entered the bridal chamber! ]
Dongqiang was listening to this passage happily. Qilong would pause in the middle and add words like "ok" and "hmm" to ensure continuity.
[Your bridal chamber is really nice, it has one end that is big and the other end that is small]
Dong Qiang's smile disappeared and he pushed Qi Long: "Why are you here again!"
At this point, the crosstalk ended, and the two men took a step back and bowed.
I looked at the time, it was eleven fifty, perfect.
"The next step is for us to join the five cities to celebrate the New Year together," Qi Long shouted to the microphone and toward the side stage, "Come on, everyone, come up!"
All the actors in this show came on the side stage. Qi Long pointed at them and introduced them one by one, and the audience applauded.
The large screen at the back also changed from the original Deyun Society logo to a video connection interface, and the actors from the five venues, namely the Imperial Capital, Jinling, Shandong, Shanxi and Henan, waved to them from afar.
Next, the troupe owner Guo Degang selected actors from each scene to perform in the backstage, with two to three actors in each scene.
The leader of the team must perform. Qi Long, the leader of Shanxi Province, is the highest-ranking of the five teams except for Guo Degang. Guo Degang will definitely be the last to perform, so Qi Long will be the first to perform.
While he was singing, the big screens at the back of several other theaters showed his "straight shot" perspective.
"Time is limited, so I'll do a rap Facebook!"
After that, Qi Long started singing: [The blue-faced Avatar doesn’t ride a horse, the red-faced Spider-Man climbs on the wall, the yellow-faced Thor, the white-faced Superman, and the black-faced Godzilla, all shout, ah ah, ah]
Qi Long was still screaming "ah" when Dong Qiang came over and dragged him away.
As soon as he sang "Avatar", the audiences and actors in the four theaters laughed together. They knew that Qi Long's encore was either funny or an original song that amazed everyone.
Since Qi Long has a new song on the small broken station today, he can't steal his own popularity, so he put on a funny little segment to liven up the atmosphere of the four venues and give his fellow apprentices a good start.
Afterwards, the actors performed in turn, and when the countdown started at 59 minutes, they counted down with the audience and wished each other a happy new year.
While Deyun Society was performing, Bilibili’s New Year’s Eve Gala was still being broadcast. The number one trending search was "Ninety-nine Eighty-one", and the second most searched was Qi Long and Dongqiang’s crosstalk.
After watching the crosstalk and Qi Long's songs, many audiences stopped watching the show and went directly to replay Qi Long's crosstalk and song performances.
The number of views, comments, and comments soared.
After Qi Long stepped off the stage after the commercial performance, I watched the video with Dong Qiang and found that there was no blank screen in the entire video, and there were barrages of comments every second.
Especially the song "Ninety-nine Eighty-one". The action of turning the microphone and throwing the microphone into the sky at the beginning made many people post comments saying that they had watched it many times.
Once a good line is sung later, "High Energy Ahead" will sound before it even starts, and after it starts the screen will be filled with the same line.
Especially the line "The Great Sage Equaling Heaven, the Earth Walker", it fills the entire screen.
If it weren’t for the AI that automatically blocks barrage comments and obscures faces, Qi Long’s face wouldn’t have been visible.
When the last song was about to end, the screen was filled with comments like: [See you at the beginning]
The most popular comment is: Qi Long is going crazy.
The second type is singers who are delayed by their crosstalk career.
And under this comment, someone said that it was because you haven’t watched Qi Long’s crosstalk. After watching it, you will know that his crosstalk is also amazing!
Dongqiang’s little website was set up with automatic continuous broadcasting. After “Ninety-nine Eighty-one” ended, it jumped to the next video, which was a video of Dongqiang being interviewed alone.
Dongqiang was about to close it, but Qi Long stopped him: "Look, look!"
Before the rehearsal, the two were interviewed separately.
The staff asked Dongqiang this question: "What is the most unforgettable moment in your cooperation career?"
Dong Qiang smiled and said, "When I heard that he had a car accident!"
His smile gradually changed from teasing to a little lonely, and he was obviously recalling that day: "I was the first one to rush to the hospital. At that time, the doctor told me not to hold out too much hope. The chance of surviving a car accident of that severity was very slim. My mind was blank at that time.
My mind is full of only one thought: (Dongqiang's eyes light up) I have to fall in love! "
"Ah?" The staff on the screen were stunned.
Qi Long outside the screen was also surprised: "You are still humorous when you recall this incident?"
"I really think so!" Dongqiang replied.
Dong Qiang on the screen also added: "We are half-brothers. His parents are also my parents. I have to find a wife who is willing to give birth to two children for me. When the time comes, one will have the surname Gao and the other will have the surname Qi!"
"Good brother!" Qi Long patted Dong Qiang.
The screen was filled with [tears].
The video then jumped to Qi Long, who was also asked about unforgettable things. Of course, Qi Long answered that it was the car accident.
The staff followed up his question and asked what his first reaction was.
Qi Long's answer made the staff laugh: "My first reaction was to grab my phone."
"Get your phone?"
"I have to format my phone. A person can die but his reputation cannot be destroyed!"
At this time, a staff member asked: "Have you ever thought about who to entrust your funeral affairs to?"
"No need, Dongqiang will take good care of my parents!" Qi Long said very casually.
Just now, because Qi Long answered the question with [hahahaha] in the barrage, it immediately turned into [tears]. This is brotherhood!
(End of this chapter)
