Chapter 144 I am a Run person
"When one is rich and the other is poor, the friendship is revealed; when one dies and lives, the friendship is revealed; when one goes from house to house, the wife does not avoid him, only the friendship of entrusting his wife and children to others can be found!"
This sentence is the most important part of "Entrusting Wife and Son to Him". The whole crosstalk is based on the story associations around this sentence.
Gao Dongqiang looked confused: "What does this mean? Please explain it to me!"
Qi Long explained to him seriously: "The first sentence, 'One is rich, the other is poor, and their friendship is revealed', means that if one is rich and the other is poor, their friendship is revealed!"
Nonsense literature has a few more pauses and is a little slower.
"Oh, you want to chat like this"
"What's wrong?" Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang in confusion. He was really curious.
When I explained it this way in the past, Dongqiang would pretend to be enlightened and let him continue to explain the rest of the words using nonsense literature, and finally explain the third sentence with him in unison as a punchline.
However, for traditional jokes, both of them improvised on stage, so when Dong Qiang said something different, Qi Long followed his lead and asked.
"That's how we'll talk that day!"
"What you are talking about is nonsense!" Qi Long was expecting him to have some splendid speech, but he didn't expect that he would use magic to attack magic and also use nonsense literature.
"Your explanation just now is just like this: if there is any content, then there is no content at all!" Gao Dongqiang counterattacked: "What you said is not only nonsense, but also nonsense. Anyone who can say such a thing must have said such a thing!"
Dongqiang kept talking, and Qilong tried to interrupt him between sentences, but was interrupted every time he opened his mouth.
The audience watched Qi Long trying to speak but unable to get a word in, and laughed as they listened to Dong Qiang's nonsense literature.
This is tacit understanding. Even if you don’t know what he is going to say, you can still find the meaning from it.
Dong Qiang became more and more excited as he spoke. In order not to leave Qi Long any room to breathe, he stopped breathing. In the end, his voice became smaller and smaller until he ran out of breath and disappeared, while he was still lip syncing.
"You're dying of suffocation!" Qi Long complained.
Dong Qiang snorted coldly: "You want to compete with me in nonsense literature? Explain it carefully!"
"I didn't say anything nonsense. I thought you were a smart person and should understand the same things I understand. But you are not a smart person and don't understand the same things I understand.
If you are a wise person, you will understand the wise things that I understand. If you are also a wise person, you will understand the wise things that I understand and you understand.
This saves the trouble of explanation. You understand, I understand, everyone understands, and people can understand things that can be understood smoothly. Do we still need such a clear explanation? "
Some viewers no longer have enough brains and can only remember one thing: understanding.
Some audience members understood what was said, and both sides applauded for Qi Long's quick words, as if they were listening to a continuous voice.
Gao Dongqiang was even more surprised. He just wanted to use nonsense literature to fight back against nonsense literature, but he didn't expect Qi Long to make up a tongue twister that said "a wise man knows what he is doing".
clothes.
Qi Long turned to Dong Qiang and asked, "Do you understand?"
"I understand. This is a tongue twister, but I don't understand the something-something-something at the beginning!" Dong Qiang shook his head.
Qi Long was surprised: "You only remember Nai?"
"Then you are confused by what I understand, aren't you?"
"Look, when he mentions Bai, he thinks of Nai!"
The two brothers were already having fun on stage at this point, chatting impromptu throughout, and the effect was pretty good, with the entire audience laughing.
"I was thinking about milk!" Dongqiang explained seriously.
Qi Long said at the side: "Whoa!"
Dong Qiang pushed him: "Go up on the stage!"
"Stop arguing, stop arguing. What you should have said is: When one is rich and the other is poor, their friendship is revealed!"
"That's it."
"This sentence needs to be explained. It's easy to explain. I'll make up a story. For example, you are no longer Gao Dongqiang, the crosstalk performer."
"Then who am I?"
"You are the boss of a multinational corporation, rich, wealthy, wealthy, powerful, prosperous, and a lady from a wealthy family!"
Dong Qiang raised his hand: "Wait a moment, Mr. Qi, I am a man, a lady from a noble family?"
Qi Long scratched his face, feeling a little embarrassed, and then turned his head: "I mean, you are surrounded by ladies from noble families. You are not like that nouveau riche who likes women with good skills!"
"What do I like?"
"Good family!"
"what?"
"A woman with a good family background and good education, a lady from a noble family!"
"Oh!" Dongqiang suddenly realized: "Look, I'm so rich!"
"That's right, I can't do that!" Qi Long sighed: "I went into the sea, and I'm a good person!"
"Ah? You went into the adult industry and people praised you: Wow, it's so smooth!" Dong Qiang made a lewd expression when he said the last sentence.
Qi Long pointed at Gao Dongqiang: "Teacher Gao still has a life!"
"What kind of life is that? Don't you say you are a Run person?"
"People who sneak into foreign countries are called Runren. I was cheated by someone, who told me that the air abroad is sweeter, medical care is free, and you can buy a villa in two years by washing dishes. If you work hard for five years, you can enjoy a leisurely life!"
Qi Long did not follow the traditional way. The traditional way was that the family was poor, living in a well, or sleeping on a hanging bed in a small three-square-meter house.
Crosstalk keeps pace with the times, and this segment has to be funny. Qi Long believes that the poorest people now are still the illegal immigrants who sneak abroad.
They said they wanted to enjoy the free air, but ended up becoming homeless, and they deserved to be poor!
This crosstalk is a good opportunity to make some satire.
"Wow! You believe this?"
"I believed it. Not only did I go by myself, I also sold my property and took my whole family with me. According to the old guide, we landed in Lao Mo, traveled through mountains and rivers, and passed through the jungle to enjoy freedom!
I was carrying a heavy backpack and had a hard time walking in the jungle. At this time, a foreigner came and told me that he could help us carry the backpack out of the jungle for ten dollars.
According to what the old man said, there are no bad people abroad, so I believed him. He ran very fast and soon I could no longer see him. What happened to the spirit of the contract? All my belongings are gone!" Qi Long's lips trembled.
Dongqiang looked at him like a fool: "They have a sense of contract, so they helped you take it out, but they won't give it back to you!"
After hearing Qi Long's "self-written" miserable story, everyone did not sympathize with him, but smiled happily. In other words, he deserved it! Dong Qiang's ridicule made everyone laugh even more. This is crosstalk, the art of satire!
Qi Long continued to say that he lost all his belongings and went in with great difficulty. Because of the humidity in the rainforest, his parents could not stand due to rheumatoid arthritis, his wife was swollen from mosquito bites, and his two children were vomiting and having diarrhea because they did not drink clean water.
They said there was free medical care, but when I went to ask if I could get treated, the diagnosis fee was 5,200 yuan.
Because you are an illegal resident, you can be cheated at will. You either pay money or go to jail.
It is said that you can make money by washing dishes, but you are an illegal resident and do not have a labor permit. Your restaurant is also used because you are an illegal resident, so you can pay less for your labor. You earn Chinese gold coins, but you have to spend them in Dadaole.
In order to pay the bills, he worked illegally from dawn to dusk, and sold all the clothes he had that could be sold. He was left with only one piece of clothing for his family, which he used when he worked.
Later, I couldn't continue working because I was being investigated for illegal registration. I searched my house over and over again and found two old newspapers. I took them out and sold them.
"Selling newspapers, read the news, the news of China in 86."
“Is that still news?”
"It was cold and windy, and no one bought my newspaper. Instead, a homeless person disliked my loud voice and beat me up and threw me out of the neighborhood. I got up, and then you showed up!"
“Oh, I showed up!”
"There are four Cadillacs in front of you, five Panameras behind you, a Ferrari on the left, a Lamborghini on the right, and you are driving your convertible John Deere in the middle. Here we go!"
Dong Qiang: "Wait a minute, John Deere? That's a tractor!"
"Because of your status as the boss of a multinational corporation, he bought you a car. It's the only one in the world!"
"That's it!"
"I am in this state now, I am too embarrassed to see you, so I hid, but you saw me, immediately stopped the convoy, came to me, and called me:" Qi Long bowed: "Dad!"
"Am I stupid enough to call you daddy?" Dong Qiang said it very quickly without letting the audience to respond.
"You are a person who likes to give people nicknames. The nickname you gave me is Dad. When you see me, you bow and call me: Dad!"
"Ah!" This time the audience reacted and joined in the discussion.
Qi Long pointed at the audience and said, "Look, these are all nicknames you gave them."
"never heard of that."
"As soon as I saw you calling me dad (don't mention this), my memories came flooding back to me. I remembered our childhood playmates, and I couldn't help but shout at you, you idiot!"
"It's me. My name is Ersha?"
"I don't even dare to recognize you!"
"Why don't you dare admit it?"
"You are different now than when you were a kid. Why is your beard all golden? Oh, golden hair? Your hair has also turned golden. You raised your head with great pride, and I saw that your nose hair is also golden!"
"Does it hurt?"
"At this time you burst into laughter: There is still some gold thread!" Qi Long then began to perform the belt-unbuckling performance without any props.
Dongqiang quickly stopped him: "Come on, come on, there's no need to show it off. Is it appropriate to take off your pants on the street?"
"You saw that I was covered in wounds and asked me what happened. I told you my miserable experience and you said I brought it upon myself!"
"really!"
"I know I was wrong. I was deceived. I regret it now, but there is no turning back in life. Oh, you just said it!"
"How to say!"
"Dad (don't mention the nickname), it would be fine if I hadn't met you, but now that I have, I can't bear to see you like this. You don't have an identity now, and you can't go back to China. How about this, I will arrange for you to go to Africa and help me look after one of my properties.
I was so touched. This is much better than being a homeless person. You even gave me money. You took out a stack of bank cards from your pocket!"
As he spoke, Qi Long performed without props the action of sorting the cards while playing poker.
Dong Qiang saw this and did the same thing: "I'm against four!"
"I'm on five!"
"I'm right about ten!"
"I can't afford it!"
"To three!"
"Five to five!"
Dongqiang raised his head and asked, "Why are you playing two by two when you have four fives?"
"I'm happy to!" Qi Long put his hands on his hips and said, "No, why are we playing poker?"
"Aren't you sorting the cards over there?"
"That's when you sorted out your bank cards. There are too many of them. They look nice when they are spread out. This one has 100,000 Dadao Le, this one has 10 million island dollars, and this one has yuan. Oh, this is a Huaxia bus card?"
"I already have a fleet of cars, but I also have a bus card?" Dongqiang was shocked.
"Experience life. Here's one million African rupees. Take it and use it. The password is written on the back of the card!"
Dongqiang pushed him again: "Is there something wrong with my brain? Who wrote the bank card password on the back of the bank card?"
Qi Long pointed at the fan in his hand pretending to be a bank card and said to him: "Hey, if someone really saw it, would they believe that the password is written on it? And your password cannot be read from left to right, but from right to left, and it must be read vertically. There are some rules, and people who don't know it won't be able to recognize it!"
Dong Qiang nodded with satisfaction: "This is more reliable!"
"That's right (imitating Dong Qiang), Dad, take it and use it. The password is written on the back. Six ones!"
"Six ones? Aren't they different if you look at it upright, upside down, horizontally, or vertically?"
The people off the court didn't expect this turn of events and laughed, slapping their thighs.
"With your help, I started a new life in Africa, the illnesses of my family members were under control, I can now put on the clothes I had taken off piece by piece, and I have the dignity of a human being. This is all thanks to you, my childhood friend.
This is what they call: when one is noble and the other humble, their friendship is revealed!"
(End of this chapter)
