Chapter 160 The tragic life story of dancer Qi Long!
At the filming location of the artificial palace, Sun Honglei, wearing a dragon robe and sunglasses, sat at the top of the stairs reading memorials. Below him sat Prime Minister Huang Bai. On the platform of the next step down sat the scholar Zhang Yixing and the wealthy businessman Wang Xun.
Huang Bo stepped forward and reported: "Your Majesty, the auspicious time has arrived!"
"Well, today is the grand ceremony of our Yan Kingdom, and all the people are summoned to enter the palace!"
Huang Bai turned around and shouted, "Call all the people into the palace."
As soon as the shout came from here, outside the camera, Qi Long, who was wearing a long skirt and had rouge and powder on his face, Luo Zhiqiang, who was dressed as a street vendor, and the guest Yao Cheng, who was dressed in beggar's clothes, walked out together.
Seeing the guests, Sun Honglei took off his glasses and pointed at Yao Cheng: "Isn't this my wife?"
When the cross-dresser Qi Long heard this, he covered half of his face with his sleeves and said, "Your Majesty, I am so embarrassed!"
Huang Bo praised: "As expected of the Emperor, your aesthetic taste is really different from ours!"
Since it is not a formal makeup, Qi Long's makeup this time is somewhat similar to the exaggerated makeup of Errenzhuan actors, the kind that makes him look ugly. He applied a lot of rouge on his cheeks, and it is not the look of a Peking Opera female role.
He is quite good at playing female roles. When he sang "Chi Ling" in "Dou Xiao She" before, he looked particularly good in that role, with the style of Li Yugang playing a female role.
Today is blind for dramatic effect.
"Or he can become the emperor? No picky!" Wang Xun looked at the ugly Qi Long and complimented the emperor.
"Get out of here! I'm talking to you about the beggar next to you!" Sun Honglei interrupted them and pointed at Yao Cheng.
This actor was his co-star in the classic spy drama, in which they played husband and wife.
It was Yao Cheng's first time participating in an outdoor variety show, so she didn't let up too much and waved to Sun Honglei: "Hi."
"Wow, this beggar can speak English?!" Luo Zhiqiang said in surprise.
"As expected of our Dayan Empire, even beggars roll up their sleeves!" Huang Bai flattered again.
Qi Long put down his sleeves and said, "Your Majesty, I will help you tear off his hypocritical veil. She only knows this one sentence in English. If you don't believe me, let's play a game. I will say an English word and you will say the second letter of the word."
Yao Cheng didn't understand why he suddenly wanted to play games, so he agreed stiffly.
Qi Long started: "Apple?"
"P!"
"Yes!"
"e!"
Seeing her answering fluently, Qi Long threw a trap: "husband!"
"u!"
"wife!"
"i!"
Qi Long smiled and nodded vigorously: "You really know English, you really know English!"
Yao Cheng was puzzled: "This game is so boring!"
Qi Long laughed: "Yes, yes, it's boring!"
Huang Bo reacted at this time and pointed at Qi Long: "Crosstalk actors are really bad! The husband is 伱 (you) and the wife is 她 (I), right?"
After Huang Bai's explanation, everyone understood, and Yao Cheng held his forehead in silence.
"He is such a bold and unruly man, he dares to flirt with a girl in broad daylight. All of you, beat him up, beat him hard!" Sun Honglei ordered with a smile.
"Your Majesty, I am a woman too. This is just a joke between sisters!" Qi Long shouted quickly.
Sun Honglei stopped the others and asked Qi Long: "Who are you?"
"I'm a dancer, working at our Yan Dynasty's Grand Theater. Number 38 is me, my name is Qiqi. You don't need 99,800 yuan, just 38,800 yuan, and you can have me, the school beauty of the Yan Dynasty Film and Television Academy, for a short period of time. I received this old artist some time ago, and I also received the emperor, but he didn't pay me!"
Recently, there was news that an old actor was supporting a young actress who was several decades younger than him. After Qi Long said this, everyone understood.
"Nonsense!" Sun Honglei stood up angrily: "I paid you!"
“Did you really receive them?”
"I thought he was going to argue that he had never met Qi Long, hahaha!"
At this time, Zhang Yixing, who was sitting there, watched Qi Long change from kneeling to sitting down under Wang Xun's reminder, and looked at Qi Long in horror: "Ah?"
"Zhang Yixing, what are you doing?"
The wealthy businessman Wang Xun bowed and said, "Your Majesty, this scholar is afraid of chickens!"
"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed out loud, amused by this joke.
Qi Long sighed: "Please don't look down on me or laugh at me. I also have my own difficulties!"
Huang Bai asked, "What nonsense! What is your reason? How can you have a reason when the dynasty ruled by Lord Yan Huang Sun Honglei?"
Sun Honglei raised his hand to interrupt: "Tell me your problem, I will help you solve it!"
"Yes, the emperor is particularly good at solving problems. If he can't solve your problem, he will solve you who raised the problem!" Huang Bai complimented.
Qi Long: "Your Majesty, please listen to me: my father is a gambler, my mother is sick, and my younger brother is studying. I had no choice but to work. I was introduced by my best friend and had to enter this industry. My sisters are still young, and I am the only one to raise everyone in the family. My ex-husband is a gambler and a domestic abuser. He was covered in wounds and has been on a path of no return since then. Please take care of me, brother!" Everyone laughed, and Wang Xun's compliment, "There is a life!" made the joke even more exciting.
Yao Cheng was so happy beside him: "Sha Yi said your show is scary, but I think it's quite hilarious!"
"We think you look quite happy in beggar's clothes!" Sun Honglei laughed and joked with his old friend.
Luo Zhiqiang, who had not performed much, also spoke up, saying that he was also very good at English and wanted to present a gift to the emperor by singing an English version of "Good Days".
【Today is a good day, good things all can do】
While he was singing, Qi Long was wearing a skirt and dancing behind him, making everyone laugh.
Emperor Yan was very pleased and directly promoted Luo Zhiqiang to the position of prime minister. The prime minister became a dancer and the dancer became a street vendor.
Luo Zhiqiang was ecstatic, Huang Bai and Qi Long pointed at Sun Honglei and walked over.
Huang Bo: "I flatter you for so long, and you let me be a dancer?"
"I got up early in the morning and put on such beautiful makeup? You want me to be a street vendor?"
Yao Cheng was full of questions about Qi Long's statement: "Is this beautiful?"
"Yes, my wife can't be a beggar anymore. Wang Xun, you go be a beggar, my wife is a wealthy businessman!" Sun Honglei ordered again.
Wang Xun shouted: "This can't be the case? This is the role I drew!"
"There are no rules in "Extreme Men's Club". I am the emperor, I am the boss, and I have the final say!"
Just like that, everyone exchanged identities, ended the joyful sitcom segment, traveled to the modern era, and began the reality show confrontation part. They were divided into four levels.
Commoner-level dancers, beggars and street vendors can use the ladle to attack wealthy businessmen and scholars. If they successfully hit the opponent with the ladle, their identities will be exchanged. Similarly, the wealthy businessmen and scholars will attack the prime minister, and the prime minister will attack the emperor.
The emperor can attack civilians. Once hit, the civilians will lose their status and become the emperor's personal soldiers.
"Oh, what is this place? Um, why do you all have to hold a brick?" Qi Long opened his eyes and looked at the passers-by holding their phones to take pictures of him, wondering: "Is this the etiquette of this era?"
After Qi Long finished speaking, he also picked up a brick. When others raised it up against him, he also raised the brick against others.
"What's that on your face?" asked a more outgoing passerby.
Qi Long: "Rouge, can't you tell? I sell rouge, my rouge is good, it's the Universe brand rouge.
I am not bragging about my own products. Our product has already been sold to many major cities in Dayan Empire. We are also preparing to expand beyond Dayan and enter the international market!"
He started talking directly about the crosstalk skit "Cosmic Brand Cigarettes".
"What are Qi, Chu, Yan, Han, Zhao, Wei, Qin, Song, Qi, Liang, Chen, Ottoman Empire, Loulan, Yelang, Daqin, Parthian Empire.
Eastern Roman Empire, Western Roman Empire, Rebellious Roman Empire, Green Roman Empire, Holy Roman Empire, Geographical Roman Empire, Silla, no, Silla is the South Korean Peninsula, we can’t call it that, for fear that they will claim to be the orthodox Roman Empire again! ”
A passage about the geography of an ancient country made everyone applaud.
"At first, our cosmic rouge was called dung beetle rouge, but when I looked it up in the dictionary, I realized it was dung beetle rouge. The brand name has become a stinky one.
It doesn't matter. We changed it to Pan Tao Rouge. The promotional slogan was that if you apply it on your face, you will gain immortality. But people didn't buy it and even made up a jingle: Pan Tao Pan Tao, one ounce of gold can only buy one spoonful. It was a deception to consumers and it was too expensive.
I just can't accept it. How is it expensive? It's been this price for so many years, isn't it? We are small vendors and it's very difficult. Have you ever looked into your own reasons and found out that you have worked hard for so many years? "
This is the live streaming host who directly attacked the consumer after seeing the comments saying that his prices were expensive, and was ridiculed by many people online.
Some of the audience knew about this and immediately laughed.
"We have no choice. The Rouge brand has become a bad brand again. The boss quit and ran away with his sister-in-law, owing million yuan. We have no choice but to use Rouge to pay our wages.
The original price of rouge is one ounce of gold and one ounce of silver, but now it’s only twenty coins each!”
Qi Long teased, pointing at the beauty on the street: "Beauty, do you want rouge? Look, the beauty has long hair and looks like a boss lady, the kind who manages accounts.
Hey, this one has short hair? A beautiful woman with short hair, she looks like a big boss. "
When the short-haired girl saw the camera filming her, she quickly covered her face and waved her hands: "I'm not a beauty, I'm fat!"
"Ah? People are good at birth, and beauties look better when they are fatter; there are greener mountains and taller buildings, and beauties look gentler when they are fatter; the waves behind push the waves ahead, and beauties look fashionable when they are fatter. Even if she is fat, she is still the modern Yang Guifei!"
The little poems were so many that the people around them couldn't stop laughing. At this time, the crowd was in a commotion and several beauties left the team.
"What happened?"
"Zhang Yixing!"
"I'm going to kill him!" Qi Long took out the gourd: "I'll bring the goods here first today, I'm going to fight!"
Qi Long, holding a ladle, ran towards Zhang Yixing. They were chatting here just now to see if they could attract people. If a commoner came, they would form an alliance. If an emperor came, they would run away. If a wealthy businessman or a scholar came, then they would attack!
When Zhang Yixing saw Qi Long rushing out from the crowd, he turned around and ran away.
"Yixing, why are you running when you see your brother?!" Qi Long shouted while chasing.
Zhang Yixing replied: "I'm afraid of chickens!"
Qi Long held up the ladle and said, "My identity has changed now. I am a ladle customer!"
"Hahahahahaha!"
(End of this chapter)
