Chapter 163: Lantern Riddles
During the Spring Festival, there is an event held every year called: My Favorite Spring Festival Gala.
In this competition program, crosstalk and sketches are both classified as language programs.
Over the years, sketches have almost monopolized the top three spots. The two crosstalk artists Feng and Niu also made changes under this circumstance. Although their shows are called crosstalk dramas, they are actually sketches.
As the older generation of outstanding sketch actors faded out of the screen, the Spring Festival Gala's language programs became less and less interesting. Among other sketch programs, only Shen Teng's program from Happy Muggles was anticipated by everyone.
In this year's competition, Qi Long and Dong Qiang emerged strongly, using a crosstalk about the stock market. After many years, they won my favorite Spring Festival Gala with crosstalk, beating Shen Teng to become the first place.
This is certainly due to the large number of fans of Deyun, Men's Gang and Challenge Group, but also because Shen Teng's program this year is indeed not as satisfactory as in previous years.
He played the role of a deadbeat, but he didn't receive any punishment. It was only in the end that he felt guilty and was suspected of forcing himself to reach a certain height, so he lost the competition.
Throughout the entire Spring Festival Gala, other skits about making dumplings were naturally no match for Qi Long and his team.
As the audience's favorite language program actors, they also performed at the Lantern Festival Gala.
This year, the directors of the Spring Festival Gala and the Lantern Festival Gala were bolder, and the Spring Festival Gala allowed Sa Beining to improvise.
The Lantern Festival Gala mixed language programs from both sides, with Qi Long and Shen Teng performing a crosstalk, and Dong Qiang and other actors from Happy Muggles performing a skit.
This was mentioned before the Spring Festival Gala, and Qi Long had already sent his manuscript to Shen Teng. It was a very simple "guessing lantern riddles" job with a little bit of padding added.
After all, it is an important evening party, so the length must be controlled.
"Now please enjoy the crosstalk: "Enjoy the Lantern Festival", performed by Qi Long and Shen Teng!"
The audience was quite surprised to see this mix and matched, and they applauded.
"Crosstalk artist Qi Long!"
"Sketch actor Shen Teng!"
"Bow to you!" The two introduced themselves together.
The audience gave another enthusiastic applause. When performing crosstalk in a studio, especially at such an important evening party, the last thing you need to worry about is the lack of applause.
Because there are special applause leaders, they will lead the applause and lead the audience to applaud together.
In addition to the applause leaders, there are even so-called comedians who make people laugh even when things are not funny.
Or maybe mainstream crosstalk is simple!
"Thank you all for your enthusiastic applause. I know that this applause is not only for me, but also for Teacher Shen Teng!" Qi Long pointed at Shen Teng and introduced him.
There was applause from below.
Shen Teng also reacted quickly: "No matter how I look at it, it's all for me?"
This sentence was an impromptu joke and was not in the lyrics, because Qi Long did not expect such loud applause here.
"Look, you're out of breath when I say you're fat. The applause must be for me, right?" he said proudly, and the audience's response was muted.
Qi Long's smile disappeared immediately, and he pointed at Shen Teng beside him: "Shen Teng!"
"Good!" the audience applauded.
Qi Long pointed at himself: "Qi Long!"
"Oh oh." The audience responded perfunctorily.
Qi Long raised his hand and said, "Goodbye!" Then he turned around and walked off the stage.
Shen Teng quickly stepped forward and pulled him back: "Don't go, don't go, we are just joking with you!"
"Well, you are a crossover performer, so it's normal for everyone to applaud you. As far as I know, this is your first time to perform crosstalk, right?"
"That's right!"
Qi Long laughed again: "Look, you gave us the Lantern Festival Gala for the first time, that's great!"
"Can you speak without panting? It sounds weird."
"It's right for me to give it to you. This is your first time working with a crosstalk artist, and it's with me. Today is the Lantern Festival. People say that the New Year is not over until the 15th day of the lunar year, but paying New Year's greetings now is considered as late in life. Teacher Shen, I wish you a happy New Year and happiness in your later years!"
"I'm still young!"
Shen Teng is a drama actor after all, so even though he can't perform crosstalk, he still remembers very clearly the points of connecting and praising the other person after rehearsals, and the crosstalk between the two of them is quite fluent.
"In recent years, the evaluation of our language programs is not as high as expected!" Qi Long said seriously.
Shen Teng pointed at him: "High emotional intelligence!"
There is no such thing as low emotional intelligence.
"I thought about the main reason. It's because sometimes what we talk about is not what everyone is interested in. How about we talk about a topic that everyone is interested in today? " Qi Long asked with a sly smile.
Shen Teng didn't respond: "What topic do you want to talk about first? I want to see if I can talk about it or not?"
"How much do you earn in a month?" Qi Long asked loudly.
Shen Teng said in embarrassment: "Isn't this a bit private?"
Qi Long asked the audience: "Are you interested?"
There was no need for a host or host to lead the group, everyone just followed suit and shouted: Interested!
"Look, the atmosphere has been set up so far. How about this, just give me a general idea!"
"Probably? Less than 100,000 yuan!" Shen Teng said slowly.
Qi Long was surprised: "You are such a big star, you make movies, appear on variety shows, and act in dramas and skits, but this amount of money is not enough for you to earn, less than 100,000 a month, how much exactly?"
"Four thousand seven!" Shen Teng said calmly.
There was no need for a lead chorus, everyone was laughing. Of course, everyone knew that it was impossible for them to make less than 100,000 yuan a month, so they also knew that they were a burden.
Of course you can't show off your wealth or expose your whiteness at a party.
"You call 4,700 less than 100,000 yuan?"
Shen Teng looked at the audience innocently and spread his hands: "Four thousand and seven to one hundred thousand?"
"Look at his cheesy face. Is it 4,700 to 100,000? It's definitely not there!"
Shen Teng asked him in return: "How much do you make a month?" "I make less than 10 million a month!"
"Three thousand or so?"
"Three thousand five!" Qi Long's words made everyone happy again. He turned around and asked Shen Teng: "How much is your year-end bonus?"
Shen Teng was shocked: "You guys still have year-end bonuses?"
"No!"
"If you hadn't asked me, I would have thought you had!"
The two of them started the show with some introduction, but due to time constraints, there was no time to say much, so they got to the point. Today is the Lantern Festival, and we have to guess riddles on the Lantern Festival. I'm a crosstalk actor, and you're a skit actor, so let's guess riddles for each other.
Qi Long asked him: "Why can frogs fly?"
"Why can frogs fly? I don't know!"
"Because he ate the magic cookie!"
"Is this a riddle? This is a brain teaser. No, it's not even a brain teaser. It's completely nonsense!"
"My riddles are in this style. Let me ask you, why can snakes fly?"
"Eat the magic cookie?"
"Wrong, I ate a flying frog!"
"This"
"Last question, why do eagles fly?"
"Eat the cookie, eat the frog, eat the snake!"
"Wrong, eagles can fly!"
A broken riddle made the whole audience burst into laughter.
Shen Teng asked a question, and said he wanted it to be a serious one: Heaven knows I have, but the earth knows I don’t have. People know I have, but I know I don’t have!
Qi Long was puzzled after hearing this: "Is this a serious riddle?"
"Of course!"
"It's bad, I only know the crooked answers!"
"Tell me!"
"Long underwear, from the sky, you can't tell that you are wearing long underwear. From the ground, you can see from your outer trouser legs that you are not wearing long underwear. People looking from the front will think that you are wearing long underwear in such a cold day, but in fact, you are not wearing long underwear and you are freezing yourself!"
In fact, this is not an inappropriate answer. If it were a commercial performance, Qi Long would throw out this joke: eunuch!
But of course I can't talk about this party.
"Am I crazy? Not wearing long johns on this day? And still freezing!" Shen Teng glared at him.
“Ham needs to be refrigerated!”
"Go away, it's not that. It's the sole of my socks. People from the sky know that I am wearing socks but don't know that my socks have no soles. People from the ground know that my socks have no soles. People see that I am wearing socks and think that my socks have soles. I know myself that my socks have no soles." Shen Teng explained.
Qi Long glared at him in return: "Are you crazy? You're wearing socks without bottoms today?"
"I'm happy, can you take care of it?"
"Okay, okay, listen to me. It's neither a donkey nor a horse! Guess an animal!"
"Mule!"
"You are wrong. A mule is like a donkey but not a horse. How can it be neither a donkey nor a horse?"
"What do you think it is?"
Qi Long yelled, "Rooster!"
"Are you next to me?"
Qi Long used Shen Teng's mean expression just now, spread his hands, and said innocently: "Is a rooster a donkey? (No) Is it a horse? (No) Yes!"
"What if I said penguin?"
"That's what you said!"
"Just tell me, eh?"
The two of them were playing riddles with each other, and neither of them was willing to give in. Finally, Qi Long came up with a big trick and said he had a riddle of extremely difficult difficulty.
He talked about a crosstalk artist who was born in Beichun City, grew up in Shanxi Province, and studied in the imperial capital. When he returned home for the New Year, he met relatives who were visiting. When entertaining the guests at home, there were twelve dishes, twelve kinds of dried fruits, and a nephew who could tell crosstalk. The two of them performed a rhymed poem.
In short, all kinds of information came out, and Shen Teng remembered them carefully one by one, not daring to slack off at all.
"The uncle of this crosstalk actor found that he had no vinegar at home, so he took the initiative to say that he wanted to go out to buy vinegar. In fact, he wanted to go out to smoke, which was inconvenient at home. He put on his coat, went out of the main gate to the south without wearing a hat, walked to the left, lit a cigarette, took a puff, and went to get vinegar. This crosstalk actor's uncle has three hairs on his head from the front and two hairs from the back. How many hairs does he have?"
Shen Teng, who had been memorizing for a long time, was confused: "No, the previous ones were useless?"
"It's useless, just this one question!"
"It's useless. What do you say he does?"
"I am happy with it, what's your business?" Shen Teng used the same gesture as before: "Let me ask you, there are three hairs in the front and two in the back, how many hairs does he have?"
"Five! Such a simple calculation."
Qi Long waved his hand: "No, you are wrong, there is not a single one!"
"Why isn't there one?"
"Didn't I tell you? Look at three hairs in the front and two hairs in the back." Qi Long made a weed-pulling motion: "How many hairs are there after pulling them out?"
"So clean?"
The two men took a step back and bowed to say goodbye, and the crosstalk ended.
(End of this chapter)
