Chapter 272 Crosstalk: "Learning Short Videos"
Zhang Jiunan and Qi Long's opening perfectly followed up Shaobing and Cao Heyang's lively opening. The two of them also opened with thunderous applause, making the audience burst into laughter.
It was basically a mother-son comedy, and both of them had quite a few lines. As Dongqiang knocked him off the stage, Zhang Jiunan started to get down to business.
He said he was just joking with everyone, and everyone called him dog because they liked him.
On stage, he works hard for a better performance, but in private, he is actually a taciturn person, often sitting in a corner backstage, not saying a word.
"After all, they are divorced, I understand!" Qi Long nodded aside.
I had just said a few serious sentences when I burst into laughter again because of Qi Long's words.
"Can we pass this time, Uncle Master?"
"Okay, okay, go on!"
"But you are like my uncle, he is quite noisy in the background, and often shares with us the interesting short videos he has seen!"
"That's true!"
"Today, I plan to show you on stage with my uncle how he watches short videos."
Qi Long was puzzled: "What's so great about this performance? Just take a cell phone and swipe it and it's done!"
"Today there are no mobile phones. I am the mobile phone. I will play the role of the mobile phone and perform the various programs you see on short videos. My eyes are the screen, my ears are the impressions, and my mouth is the mouthpiece."
Qi Long asked calmly: "Where is the charging port?"
The audience understood immediately and then laughed and applauded.
"Why do you mention charging? I'm pretending to be a phone, not a real phone. I need to charge it or something."
Qi Long nodded in confusion: "Then you are the phone, and I am?"
“You are a person who plays with your phone.”
"I'm playing with you?"
"Yes!"
"I don't really feel like playing with my phone today. I can't be the one who plays with the dog!"
The audience laughed again, and someone in the audience shouted, "Play one."
The two of them divided the roles and the game began. Zhang Jiunan said that once the gavel was hit, he would turn into a mobile phone and would not move, so Qi Long would play with the phone.
The gavel struck, and Qi Long faced the audience.
"Today, I will tell you a stand-up comedy. Let me start with a setting poem!"
Zhang Jiunan looked at Qi Long in surprise, his expression saying: Uncle Master, you don't play by the rules!
[Law-abiding people are depressed every day, while bullies are happy every night. Those who harm others for their own benefit ride on horses and mules. Those who are just and fair go hungry. Those who repair bridges and roads go blind. There are many who kill and set fires. I went to the West Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said: I can do nothing! ]
After saying that, Qi Long slammed the table with the gavel again. The audience became enthusiastic and entered into the state of listening to crosstalk. They were easily amused, and this traditional opening poem also made them laugh out loud.
However, as soon as the gavel was struck, Zhang Jiunan came back.
"Uncle, we are performing crosstalk, please don't leave me behind!"
"Oh my god, the phone is alive!"
"No, you just struck the gavel and I turned back into a human."
"Oh." Qi Long picked up the gavel and slammed it, and Zhang Jiunan stood straight again and played with his phone.
After another knock, Zhang Jiunan came back to his senses: "Uncle"
Knock, turn into a phone, knock, turn into a person
Zhang Jiunan finally couldn't bear it anymore and barked at Qi Long: "Woof! Can you please perform crosstalk properly, uncle? Please!"
"Okay, go ahead!"
"I am a cell phone, come and play with me, play with me," Zhang Jiunan shouted crazily.
Qi Long stopped teasing him and started to work.
His eyes were the screen. Qi Long poked his eyes with his hand to turn on the phone, and Zhang Jiunan quickly replaced the phone with his face.
Qi Long slapped him lightly on the face.
Zhang Jiunan was about to speak when Qi Long exclaimed, “Oops, it’s not open!”
It came again. The audience watched this scene and couldn't help laughing: "It hasn't been opened yet!"
"Oh, it's not opened yet?" Qi Long slapped him again.
Zhang Jiunan was forced to replace the screen with the torso again, and reminded Qi Long: "You can't change it down anymore, you just swipe it and it will open."
Qi Long did not act strangely this time. He opened his phone but started to flip through the pages: "Let me find some short video software."
He scratched Zhang Jiunan's belly several times:
“There are no short videos on this page, Tieba, Weibo, WeChat, or any other social media platform!”
"This page has penguins, kiwis, and mangoes. They are all video clips. There are no short videos!"
Just like reciting the name of a software program, he spoke at a very fast speed, leaving room for the audience to cheer and accept their applause and cheers.
"This page, this page has a short video, please take a look, ninety, one."
Zhang Jiunan immediately pushed Qi Long: "Uncle, what are you talking about?"
"I said, the ninth and tenth ones are the same, both are short videos, one is the fast version and the other is not the fast version, which one should we choose?"
"You scared me to death, let's try the normal version!" Zhang Jiunan recommended.
Qi Long clicked on the normal version and watched the DouY short video. As soon as he clicked it, Zhang Jiunan twisted her body, stroked her cheek with one hand, and winked at the audience with lustful eyes.
"What's the matter?" Qi Long pushed him hard.
Zhang Jiunan opened his mouth and said, "You have shaken your phone and entered the shopping channel. What a great mask. It will make your skin elastic!"
Qi Long: "You still have a splash screen ad here? It jumps to the platform when you shake it, return it to me immediately!"
He reached out and grabbed Zhang Jiunan's coat and pulled it back.
The audience feels involved. Many platforms now have splash screen ads, and some require you to watch them for three seconds before you can click to skip.
This is nothing. The most annoying thing is that when you shake your phone lightly, it jumps directly to the shopping channel. It would be fine if you just clicked on it, but it's really deceptive to just shake it and enter.
After entering the short video platform, Zhang Jiunan began to perform various classic short video performances.
The first is the most common marketing account: "It was not until I heard Guo Qilin say that there were no towels at home that I realized that he and his father had long since become enemies."
The audience laughed wildly, and so did the backstage. No one had expected that the content of the short video performance would actually include this!
Qi Long was startled and quickly swiped upwards: "If you don't want to listen to this, change it!"
Zhang Jiunan changed his voice: "Jiunan ghost stories will bring you a new experience. Today we are going to talk about a man named A Long and his father in Beichun City."
Qi Long clicked and paused.
"This is a bit scary, a ghost story. The person lives in the same place as me and his name is A-Long. No, I won't brush it at night if it's scary!" After saying that, he swiped again.
Zhang Jiunan began to sing: [She sang about meeting an old friend in a foreign land, one step.]
"Oh, my song. I'm not so scared after listening to it. Let's listen to the one above!"
Qi Long swipes upwards to go to the previous video.
Zhang Jiunan started telling the story again: "His father did this when he was very young..."
Qi Long pressed the pause button again: "This is terrible! If I paused it a little slower, Aaron would be left without a father!"
He stroked it down again, and then stroked it up and down, letting Zhang Jiunan speak and sing, speak and sing, and the audience was delighted.
"Look at one, stop scratching!" Zhang Jiunan yelled.
Qi Long nodded: "Then let's read a ghost story, but I forgot what it was just about, I'll rewind it."
【A person named A-Long, his father was very young.】
Qi Long clicked pause: "I was distracted just now and didn't hear clearly, let's go back!" and swiped back.
His father.
Pause: "His what?" Scroll back.
【dad! 】
The audience collectively yelled, “Hey!”
I have to work overtime. I can't write 3,000 words for two chapters. I can only guarantee 4,000 words for full attendance. I am very sorry.
(End of this chapter)
