Chapter 312 Song "Why Don't You Go to Heaven"
Qin Xiaoxian thought that his final choice might be a heavyweight female guest, perhaps a sketch actor or comedian who can act ugly.
At that time, he was wondering if he would appear disrespectful to others if he showed too much dissatisfaction, and he was in a dilemma.
Now that I see it’s Sun Jiuxiang, I can openly express my dislike for him!
Qin Xiaoxian's face was full of despair. He ran over and grabbed Dongqiang's hand: "Uncle, you don't like Meng Ziyi, so how about we switch partners?"
Dongqiang raised his hand and pushed him away: "No, no, no, I'm fine."
"Brother Wang, Brother Jiaer, weren't you disappointed just now? Let's switch."
Wang Jiaer shook his hand: "No, no, no, Chaoyue and I are fine!"
Yang Chaoyue jumped up and hit him: "Isn't it the time when you disliked me just now?"
"Ah, why is my life so miserable!" Qin Xiaoxian raised his hands in despair.
Everyone laughed heartily, saying that the production team knew how to have fun.
"A crosstalk partner is not much different from a couple living together. This CP special for you two is just right!" Qi Long advised with a smile.
Qin Xiaoxian put on a smile that was uglier than crying and accepted his fate!
All the guests came out, and Qi Long began to control the situation by looking at the board where the program team introduced the guests. Most of the guests were acquaintances, so Qi Long introduced them one by one.
"First, welcome the drum music performer Zhang Wanyi!" Qi Long started to applaud first after he said that, and everyone also applauded.
Zhang Wanyi also bowed to everyone and said: "Hello everyone, I am the source of your happiness, Qilong!"
This title has been talked about by the audience since their date was exposed on the Internet a long time ago, and it is also met with a lot of booing when it is mentioned now.
Qi Long smiled and then asked, "Our guests usually have to perform a show. What drum song are you going to sing?"
"I won't sing the drum song today. I want to sing the song you wrote after your trip and applied for copyright."
As soon as this was said, everyone immediately became excited. Oh? Qi Long wrote another song?
Zhang Wanyi knew that when drum songs were performed on variety shows, they would most likely be cut into pieces. Even if the program was created by Qi Long's company, they would not retain a large number of singing segments. After all, the audience for drum songs was still relatively low.
So she wanted to do something interesting, and Qi Long cooperated with her. A relaxing guitar sound was played on the speakers. Zhang Wanyi took the microphone, pointed at Qi Long with a smile, and started singing:
[You are full of nonsense and you are trying to deceive me with sweet words. Why don't you go to heaven? ]
"Hahahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed as soon as the first line of lyrics came out.
[Drinking on a business trip, do you think I don't know? Why don't you go to heaven? Baby, it's okay, I'll give you a hand, soaring up to 90,000 miles, turn left and don't see you off]
This is a song that Qi Long saw in the artifact software after he went to heaven. It is called "Why Don't You Go to Heaven?"
The song is about a couple complaining about each other. The first half is about the girl complaining about the boy, and the second half is about the boy complaining about the girl. Qi Long changed the lyrics.
The first line of the original lyrics is, the girl in the couple said to the boy: You are so ugly yet you ask for so much.
The next sentence is: You flirt with other girls and think I don’t know.
Zhang Wanyi changed these two paragraphs to make them more appropriate to complain about Qi Long, especially when Qi Long was on a business trip to record a variety show, he would always have dinner and drink with others, and then when he made a phone call he would pretend that he had not drunk, or at least not too much!
Zhang Wanyi continued to sing: [I washed all the socks and underwear you collected, why don’t you go to heaven? Look how powerful you are]
Everyone started to laugh. Qi Long made up two lyrics in his mind that were different from the original version and started to sing.
[You hit me with a drumstick and made my head swollen, why don't you go to heaven? ]
"Hahahahahaha!"
"It's quite fun!" This is Gao Dongqiang's supporting role.
[You read my text messages all day long, even Dongqiang is not spared, why don't you go to heaven? ]
"Are you still jealous of me?"
[Baby, it’s okay] This part is the same as the previous one.
In the third paragraph, Qi Long complained about his girlfriend without making any changes. He sang the original lyrics directly, which immediately blew up the show.
[Every time we want to make love, you say you are too sleepy. But when you are watching TV, aren't you very energetic? Look how good you are! ]
"ohhhh!"
"Hahahahaha!"
"There is life!" Sha Yi gave a thumbs up and his ears were grabbed by Hu Ke.
This scene made everyone burst into laughter!
Qi Long and Zhang Wanyi began to sing: [How many times have I wanted to strangle you to death (strangle you to death), but I couldn't do it (couldn't do it), so I still love you! ]
After the song was over, the two of them made a heart shape with their hands, which gave everyone a lot of dog food.
After the talent show, the whole room cheered and applauded in unison.
Qi Long took Zhang Wanyi to the corner and introduced another guest: "Let us welcome the actor Hu Ke!"
Everyone applauded, Hu Ke bowed, then waved his hands: "Well, I don't have any talent, no talent"
Qi Long immediately responded: "What do you mean no? Yes, we all know it, it's all written on the cue card!"
As he spoke, he raised the host card in his hand and said, "Now, please invite Hu Ke to perform a segment of scolding her husband for us!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
Sha Yi pointed at Qi Long and walked over: "Is that how it's written?"
He snatched Qi Long's cue card and showed it to the camera:
"Blank, he can't make it up. My wife never scolds me, never scolds me!"
As soon as this statement was made, the members refuted it one after another.
Shen Teng: "Isn't it time for you to come out and drink with me after being scolded?"
"Ah? You're drinking when you go out?" Hu Ke looked at Sha Yi.
Sha Yi shook his head: "He drinks, I just eat some food"
Dongqiang came out: "I remember one time when we were recording a show, Sha Ge's voice became hoarse, and I was concerned about him. I asked him why his voice became hoarse. Sha Yi said he had a quarrel with his sister-in-law last night. I thought that his voice became hoarse during the quarrel, maybe because he cursed a lot? So, you have a high status in the family."
Qi Long was beside him: "What did Brother Sha say?"
"Sha Ge said he was beaten so hard that he cried out in pain and became hoarse!"
"Hahahahahaha!"
Qin Xiaoxian also had something to say: "During the recording of that show, Brother Sha arrived before me, got in my car and asked if I had toilet paper, and I asked why you didn't go to the toilet at home?"
"What did Brother Sha say?" Sun Jiuxiang asked.
"Sha Ge said that his sister-in-law dragged him out halfway through."
Hearing this, Sha Yi stopped refutation and stared with tears in his eyes: "This has happened many times. When I go to the bathroom at home, many times when I am halfway through, our queen also wants to go to the bathroom, and I have to get up to make room for her."
As he spoke, Sha Yi acted out a scene where he had a stomachache and was walking slowly outside: "I almost suffocated several times!" It was so hilarious that Hu Ke was so embarrassed that he squatted on the ground and covered his face with his hands while laughing.
Afterwards, Shen Teng and Ma Li performed a duet dance. It was fine during the performance, but as soon as she got off the stage, Ma Li complained that Shen Teng hadn't danced for too long and that he was doing it wrong, and that he was too fat and his movements were slow. They started complaining about each other.
It was Meng Ziyi's turn. Although she was not very good at singing, she insisted on singing but was pulled back by Dong Qiang.
Chaoyue Qilong chose to skip it, walked to Sun Jiuxiang and then stepped back: "Let's welcome Yang Chaoyue!"
"Ha ha ha ha."
After an opening that had everyone having fun from beginning to end, it was time for the actual game of the day. Each team was given a large block of ice and placed in an insulated box. They were not allowed to use violence to destroy the ice. The game was that whoever's ice melted first would win.
In the first stage, the six groups need to be divided into two groups of three, each choosing a label and going to a location to complete the task.
The labels are: summer, winter.
Without thinking, everyone rushed to grab summer, as ice was obviously more suitable for melting in summer. Finally, everyone drew lots. Those who drew red went to summer, and those who drew blue went to winter.
As a result, Qin Xiaoxian, who had always been unlucky, actually got Xia Tian, which made him very excited.
Qi Long, whose luck was also not very good, did not dare to gamble and let Zhang Wanyi draw the lottery, which also lasted a summer.
On the contrary, the lucky carp Yang Chaoyue failed in this round and drew winter.
However, this arrangement and distribution made Qi Long a little uneasy. Why did it feel like summer was not as good as he had imagined?
In the end, Qi Long, Dong Qiang and Qin Xiaoxian, a group of three crosstalk performers, went to the summer mission site, changed their clothes and set off. They arrived at a swimming pool where they could train diving.
"Isn't it a diving competition?" Qi Long exclaimed.
Gao Dongqiang looked at the two three-meter boards facing each other and felt that this was the mission: "This is amazing. The three of us are all crosstalk performers. Besides crosstalk, the most famous people in Tianjin are the diving masters. Let's have a competition!"
"Who can compare with you? Let me tell you, Dongqiang is about the same as the diver from that country. He doesn't make any splash when he jumps!"
"You blew it!"
"Really, there was no water in the pool when he jumped!" Qi Long said nonsense seriously.
Dongqiang got anxious: "There's no water splash, but brain splash!"
The program team announced the task, which was for the couple to somersault on the diving boards on both sides three times in a row, and then somersault to the red area in front of the board, and then take a photo with a heart shape together to signify a successful challenge.
"What is that?" Qi Long took a look at the three-meter board and immediately felt that it was a bit difficult. If he somersaulted on such a narrow board, he would fall into the water right away, right?
Qin Xiaoxian and Sun Jiuxiang were also confused. Qin Xiaoxian pointed at Sun Jiuxiang and said, "Why didn't my brother Jiuxiang just break the springboard?"
The mission began, and Qi Long's group took the challenge first. As soon as they stepped on it, the board began to tremble, and Qi Long's heart began to tremble as well.
Don't panic, it's just a somersault. It's often done on the crosstalk stage. I'm sure I can do it straight.
"Qi Long, come on!" Zhang Wanyi, who was also ready on the opposite side, waved.
Qi Long also raised his hand: "Come on, come on!"
Kneeling on the stage, holding onto the springboard with his hands, Qi Long did a forward roll and landed steadily in the center of the springboard. Before he could even cheer for himself, Zhang Wanyi on the opposite side had already fallen into the water and rolled sideways, unable to roll in a straight line!
Qi Long saw his fiancée fall into the water, and knew that his team had failed the challenge. He immediately planned to return to the diving platform, but Qin Xiaoxian pushed him down: "Don't block the way, it's our turn."
The challenge of Qin Xiaoxian's group was a little smoother than that of Qi Long's group. Although Sun Jiuxiang was fat, he was steady. He rolled over and remained on the board. He performed unexpectedly well, but the board was shaking a little severely.
The one who had problems was Qin Xiaoxian. He was tall and had long legs, and he had not practiced tumbling like Qi Long, who could shorten the distance. He reached the edge of the springboard after two rolls. They required three rolls, but he took a look and jumped directly into the water.
It was Gao Dongqiang's group's turn. Qi Long and Qin Xiaoxian stood behind Dongqiang. When Dongqiang was about to roll over, they raised their feet tacitly and hit Dongqiang's butt.
The pushing force of this kick naturally caused Dongqiang to deviate from his direction and fall directly into the water.
Dong Qiang, who fell into the water, swam to the shallower part of the shore, turned around and pointed at them and scolded them. Qi Long and Qin Xiaoxian, the dirty uncle and nephew, pointed at each other again and said, "He did it."
"Uncle Master, how dare I kick you? It must have been Uncle Long who kicked you!"
Dongqiang pointed at them and said, "Neither of you can run away. I can feel two feet."
Qi Long nodded: "Yes, he jumped up and kicked with both feet."
Qin Xiaoxian couldn't help laughing: "Uncle, you are going too far. How can you kick with two feet?"
"Jump up and kick forward with both feet at the same time. Try it!"
Qin Xiaoxian shook his head: "That won't work!"
Although she shook her head, she still did it to prove it. Qin Xiaoxian jumped up, and Qi Long pushed him into the water with a light push.
"Hahaha!"
"OK!" Qin Xiaoxian nodded: "Uncle Master, you were the first to do it!"
The three of them started to commit dirty fouls, and Gao Dongqiang, who was not prone to fouls, was forced to take action by the two of them.
It was already a difficult task to complete, and once they broke the rules, they fell into the water frequently.
Later, the program crew had to intervene and stated that they should not interfere with other people's tasks. Without any interference, Gao Dongqiang's group completed the task first and was rewarded with 15 minutes of ice drying in the sun.
Qi Long and Qin Xiaoxian were stuck. Qin Xiaoxian's group was Sun Jiuxiang, who would occasionally fall due to mistakes and Qin Xiaoxian would flip to the front of the board after two flips, leaving no room for a third roll.
As for Qi Long, it was Zhang Wanyi's sense of balance that was at work. When she rolled over, she was facing the direction and rolled to the side and fell into the water.
The program team lowered the standard again and did not require three rolls. Qin Xiaoxian's group took the reward of seven minutes of sunbathing.
The Qilong group gained nothing.
The winter team's mission was different. They danced in an igloo in an indoor ski resort. When the whistle sounded, they started to leave the igloo and rush to the platform. They successfully completed the couple's heart shape when the program crew pressed the camera shutter.
Shen Teng Ma Li, Sha Yi and Hu Ke were clearly no match for Wang Jiaer and Yang Chaoyue. Although Sha Yi had made plans to show off in front of his wife and tried his best, he still lost and finished last again.
After the six groups played a round of the game in their respective locations, they started another choice, this time the choice was: walk or jump!
Gao Dongqiang wanted to choose to jump, but Meng Ziyi begged him to leave because she was tired.
Qin Xiaoxian chose to jump on the grounds that he wanted Sun Jiuxiang to lose weight.
On Qi Long's side, the couple also chose to walk after discussion. When they arrived, they met Sha Yi and Hu Ke and the Shen Teng Ma Li group. This time the walking and dancing options were not three-on-three, and they could choose multiple options.
Obviously, except Dongqiang, everyone wants to be lazy.
The program team announced the task: "Please ask the female guest to take the elevator to the 33rd floor. After the male guest hears the question on the first floor, he walks up the stairs to the 33rd floor and repeats the question to the female guest. If the female guest answers correctly, the challenge is successful."
"Ah?" Qi Long, Shen Teng and Sha Yi opened their mouths in unison.
Only sports expert Gao Dongqiang cheered: "This is a good project!"
I have listened to 's songs live, haha
(End of this chapter)
