Not to mention the love that grows over time, Su Xin feels that it is just a compromise to lifestyle habits.
The two people have adapted to each other's existence. If the other person suddenly disappears from their lives, they will feel uncomfortable. However, habits can be changed. It's just that many people are unwilling to spend this time and energy to get out of the past.
Just a comfort zone.
Su Xin is keen on developing good habits. She doesn't feel bad about leaving anyone. Even when she left her parents to study, her feelings for them didn't change. Even when she left the port to take risks, she still missed the ship girls.
Will not decrease.
The change in distance will not affect Su Xiaozhi's attitude and feelings towards people, and she is confident that she can get through the discomfort of various changes in habits safely.
So these are not love. This kind of unstable feeling that is prone to conflicts and disputes and is unlikely to last forever is something she has never longed for or wanted to pursue.
"I like eternal things." Su Xin squatted on the edge of the port, poking the fire in front of her with the wooden stick in her hand.
"Family love is eternal, and so should friendship. I already have it, so do I really need to spend energy pursuing love?"
"Why would anyone be willing to give everything to a stranger? Wouldn't it be better to leave it to someone who can guarantee eternity?"
"Why does Rafi think she loves me? Does she really understand what that is?"
"...Why would anyone think they like me? I'm just a boring and stubborn person." Su Xin picked up a blanket and threw it into the fire which was shrinking.
"I am selfish and only insist on doing what I want to do."
"I don't care about or understand others, I'm always immersed in my own world."
"What on earth is there about me that's worthy of her liking?" Su Xin looked down at her palms, which were soft and small, without even many lines on them. "So... is it because she likes my appearance?"
Su Xin suddenly felt unhappy, but she couldn't figure out why. She only knew that this emotion came suddenly and inexplicably, and was continuing to affect her.
"See!" she thought, "This is the extra stuff that affects my emotions and judgment, and makes me no longer able to think rationally."
Su Xin used a stick to adjust the blanket that was almost burned, and tried her best to drive away the feeling of irritation from her heart. Then she stood up and dealt with the remnants left after the fire was extinguished.
Su Xin couldn't keep the bloodstained sheets and blankets, which were unlikely to be washed clean. But she felt ashamed to throw them away, so she simply found a place to burn them that afternoon.
She was satisfied, but Changdao, who passed by not far away and witnessed the whole process, was terrified, "No way... They're starting to burn things. The commander is really angry..."
"Lafite Lafite!"
Lafei, who was considering whether to remove his things from Su Xin's room, was stunned and looked back at the door, "...Sister Changdao, what's wrong?"
"Can you...can you help me find out if the commander is still angry..."
Lafite was a little embarrassed. He had revealed his true feelings in the morning and wiped Su Xin's chest with his snot and tears. Now that he calmed down and thought about it, he felt that it was not appropriate.
Since the commander asked her to give him some time to think it over, Lafite felt that she should give Su Xin some space and leave her room, keeping some distance from her.
But she felt unwilling to move out. The long-term living together day and night but not sleeping in the same bed made her subconsciously not want to make any changes. She has been struggling with this for about an hour now.
As a result, Changdao suddenly asked me to go and inquire about the situation. Wouldn't my decision to keep my distance be in vain?
Rafi looked troubled, but he didn't notice the relief and joy in his heart, "...No way...The Commander is very good..."
"Of course I know she's fine." Nagashima took a breath, "But just now I saw her burning the sheets, burning the sheets!"
"...What does this mean?"
"That means the commander is so angry that he started to set fire to the bed!" Nagashima swore. "I guess she must have thought of what happened in the morning when she saw the bed sheet, and she thought of me when she thought of what happened in the morning, so she was so angry that she burned it.
Bar!"
Rafi felt from the bottom of her heart that it wouldn't be necessary. Based on her understanding of the little commander, he shouldn't be so angry as to burn things over this matter.
But after thinking about it, Rafi agreed to Nagashima's request. He put down the pillow in his hand and put it back to its original place. "...Okay, Rafi will ask for you tonight."
"That's good, that's good. I feel really bad about it now. Next time I will make a careful guess before passing on a message!"
Rafi silently looked at Nagashima who was proud of her decision, thought for a moment and reminded her: "...You should go to Sister Hood."
"Oh! I forgot! It's over, I'll have to be scolded for two more hours for being late." Changdao suddenly became depressed and walked out of the room listlessly, "Why is it so difficult for me..."
Rafi looked outside the empty room, paused, and then threw himself on the bed. He sniffed the scent of peach mixed with alcohol in the quilt and felt very satisfied.
"...I still want to live here..."
At night, Lafite still got scared.
She did not take back her things, but she was confused about the commander's attitude, so she decided to stay in her room and sleep. Not long after, there was a knock on the door.
Lafite was stunned, and opened the door with suppressed expectation, only to see the person he had been thinking about all the time.
The other person walked into the room naturally, drew the curtains, dimmed the lights, took off his slippers, and got into the bed by the window.
"Hmm? Aren't you sleepy today?"
Rafi quickly came to her senses, closed the door and locked it, then approached hesitantly, climbed onto the bed and got into the quilt. The other person's slightly cooler and familiar body temperature made her feel safe and satisfied, so she moved her body closer.
"...sleepy."
"Is that so... go to bed early then?"
"Hmm..." Lafei reached out and grabbed Su Xin's nightgown. Seeing that she didn't object, she breathed a sigh of relief, "...Commander, are you not angry?"
Su Xin was startled when she heard the voice, and turned sideways to look at Lafite beside her, "No, why would you think so."
"...Sister Changdao said she saw you burning the sheets..."
"Ah... that..." Su Xin pursed her lips a little embarrassedly, "I think it's dirty, but I feel a little uncomfortable throwing it away like this, so..."
"...So the Commander is not angry?"
"Um, no?"
"...Then can Rafi hold you while sleeping?"
"Sure." Su Xin reached out and gently held Lafite in her arms. "I'm stupid and can't respond to you so quickly. I still need a lot of time to learn it. Before that, we should just get along like before."
Rafi was very satisfied. She didn't think there was anything wrong. The commander was such a serious idiot. If he said he would consider it, then he would consider it. If he said he would spend time studying, then he would really need time. She could stay with him as before.
I am already satisfied.
"Well... let's go to sleep? I'm a little sleepy."
"...good."
"..."
Rafi didn't go to bed until very late. She felt the weightless arm of Commander Su resting on her side, and she felt very relieved. "I said the commander wouldn't be angry. I still understand the commander very well."
Official ones..."
As he was thinking, Lafite yawned and snuggled a little closer into Su Xiaozhizhi's arms, wanting to sleep close to him as before. However, when his forehead touched Su Xiaozhizhi's chest, the sleeping Su Xiaozhizhi kicked him away.
Lafite, who had fallen on the carpet, woke up instantly. Looking at Su Xin, who was frowning, covering her chest and muttering "it hurts" in the quilt, she felt very uncomfortable.
"...I think I still need to keep my distance... Damn it."
ps: The love views in this chapter are just for your reference, don’t learn them. Also, I hope you don’t think Su Su is a scumbag. The subsequent emotional problems will gradually be exposed and improved/_
Chapter 227 Progress
Commander Su Xiao experienced the great joy of growing up yesterday, as well as the great sorrow of being executed in public. In the end, someone confessed his love to him in person, but the other person turned out to be a destroyer who would never reach adulthood and whom he had always treated as a sister.
Ah, this... is quite magical.
Regardless of the outcome, just because her beloved sister cried so miserably yesterday, Su Xin knew that the matter could not be glossed over, and what the other party said was probably true.
Su Xin decided to try to face this unknown. This was not her original intention. After all, according to her overly cautious nature, her real approach would be to retreat into her shell like a little turtle.
She couldn't understand why the close relationship between sisters changed without her noticing. Isn't sisterhood good? It's a stable emotional relationship that lasts a lifetime, isn't it much better than love?
But, who said it was Lafite?
Since it was what Raffi said, since it was what Raffi thought, since it was what Raffi needed, she could only try hard to accept and understand that ethereal emotion, and step into the novel world of homosexuality.
Commander Su Xiao has always been very proactive. Once she decides to do something, she will do it immediately and try to complete it in the shortest time possible so that she can arrange new things later.
Therefore, when Commander Su just opened her eyes this morning, she had already made it clear what she was going to do today to complete her study of emotions.
She sat up lightly as she usually did, but found that Rafi, who was used to sleeping in, was curled up on the sofa looking at her.
"Hmm? Rafi, why did you get up so early today?"
Lafite looked a little dazed. He moved after hearing the voice. He seemed to hesitate for a while and didn't say anything.
"..I can't tell the commander that she kicked me off the bed 2 or 3 times..."
Rafi was very sleepy. She should have been a little angry due to lack of sleep, but in fact, her heart was filled with relief and helplessness.
"...How can you come over and then kick me off the bed..."
Su Xin simply trimmed her hair. The black hair that originally only reached below the butterfly bone on her back was now close to her waist. The bangs in front were also not long enough. After trimming them several times, Su Xin simply stopped caring and fixed them with a hairpin.
Even if it's done.
"Didn't you sleep well last night?" The culprit who caused Lafite to not sleep much asked kindly, "How about having breakfast and then sleeping for a while? It's not good to skip breakfast-"
"It's not good for your health..." Rafi changed his posture, wrapped his arms around his calves, and rested his head on his knees, "...The commander has said it many times."
Commander Su felt a little embarrassed when she heard that. She looked at Lafite who was looking at her, and suddenly blushed when she saw something. "... Sit down, you're exposed."
Lafite was stunned, tilted her head to look at the hem of her nightgown that had slipped down to her thighs, and the pink and white stripes that were exposed at a corner, then glanced at Su Xiaozhizhi who had shifted his gaze, and she understood.
".. How can sisters be shy about seeing their underwear?" Rafi sat down obediently on the surface. Looking at the relieved little commander, she felt relieved. "·Rafi should be safe."
However, good past habits reminded Lafite that when facing Su Xin, he should never get to the bottom of something, because the answer given by the other party would most likely not be what he expected.
This is indeed the case. Su Xin blushed only because she believed that the body is a personal privacy, whether it is her own or someone else's.
Snooping into other people's privacy would make her feel embarrassed and helpless, and exposing herself would be the same. This is why Commander Su usually doesn't wear clothes above the knee. Fortunately, everyone in the port area is her family, otherwise she would not even have her arms exposed.
I don't want to show any.
"Should I go first?"
"Ah."
"Then Rafi, don't sleep anymore, okay?"
"knew…"
Su Xin nodded with satisfaction. She would probably be very busy today, so she had to supervise Lafite to finish his breakfast so that she could let him take a nap without any worries.
When Lafite saw the little conductor go into the bathroom, he quickly set the alarm for ten minutes, then leaped into the bed that was filled with their own unique scent and fell asleep in less than two seconds.
Su Xin didn't spend a long time getting up in the morning. After becoming a ship girl, the pressure on her body to clean was reduced by more than half. She didn't need to spend time washing her hair and taking a bath every day. She only needed to wash her face and face on weekdays.
The body is cleaned up very quickly.
Just after she changed her clothes and cleaned herself up, she heard a faint cell phone ringing in the room. Su Xin was puzzled. After tidying her hair in front of the mirror, she opened the door and walked out.
The white rabbit was sleeping on the bed with its back facing up, and the speaker of the ringing cell phone seemed to be blocked. Su Xin looked at it and suddenly smiled. She subconsciously walked forward and patted Lafite's little butt.
The sleeping people were awakened, and the person who did it realized it later and looked at his own little paws in shock.
Rafi: "...Ah."
Su Xin: "...Ah."
Rafi turned his head and looked at the silly little commander, and was silent for a moment, "...Commander...H..."
Su Xin was so scared that she waved her hands and stammered to explain. Lafite listened to the intermittent sounds and secretly curled the corners of his lips.
Su Xin is very busy today. Her schedule is very full, and there is only one thing on it.
Learn.
After she finished her meal, she let Lafite follow her into the command room, found two large piles of books on "love", sat down on the sofa, and habitually adjusted her posture so that Lafite, who was resting his head on his thighs, could experience it more.
I felt better and then buried myself in reading.
The love described in philosophy books was complicated, with a large number of words piled up into difficult-to-understand concepts. Su Xin could memorize this passage at a glance, but she couldn't understand what it meant specifically.
Platonic love believes that the marriage system between opposite sexes is only for the construction of society, and firmly believes that true love is a persistent spiritual emotion between the same sex that can stand the test of time.
"It's true that we are in a relationship with the same sex, and it's good to persist." Su Xin pursed her lips and thought, "But she still didn't tell me what love is."
"And considering the characteristics of the times, it doesn't seem to be applicable to the current situation..."
"...It would be nice if there was a numerical standard to judge by."
Chicken soup article? Su Xin simply "read" it and put it aside. This kind of book full of the author's subjective opinions and inflammatory sentences was not enough to convince her, let alone learn from it.
Su Xin looked around but couldn't find any book that could help her study. She suddenly felt that this was much more difficult than any Olympiad mathematics or advanced mathematics, or even "Torpedo Launch Angle Theory".
