Ned, the strongest among them, was currently being attacked by four Orc warriors simultaneously. A faint blue mist emanated from his vigorously wielded longsword, carrying traces of coldness. It was precisely with this frost-enchanted weapon that he was able to maximally restrain the enemies who might Charge at Mo Tan and Shuang Ye, but Ned himself, with his increasing exhaustion, had already begun to sustain injuries.
During one Charge and interception, he was even hit in the back by two warhammers at the same time. If he hadn't reacted in time to block, that single impact alone could have severely wounded him.
Yet, all Mo Tan could do was cast Tenacity Prayer on him every five minutes, occasionally interspersed with a few Law Decree Shields and healing spells that were better than nothing.
He truly couldn't do more, because despite seeming to be in constant peril, Ned was already in the best condition among them, aside from himself and Shuang Ye…
Salazar's left arm was broken. A dozen seconds ago, to help Krab escape being attacked from both sides, he directly charged forward with an elbow, forcefully pushing back the enemy behind his teammate, but was then struck horizontally by a punch from the Orc warrior he had been entangled with, directly crippling his arm.
After that, Mo Tan barely let the Law Decree Shield on him lapse, but he couldn't provide high-intensity healing for Salazar.
Because Yinna and Krab were in truly dire straits at this moment. The latter had a deep, bone-visible gash on his forehead from the struggle, and the continuously gushing blood made his vision extremely blurry. The giant axe in his hand had begun to chip from dozens of head-on clashes with his kinsmen, whose strength was only slightly inferior to his own…
Moreover, because he disliked wearing the tight, standard soft armor, his bare upper body was now covered in wounds. Even though his physique far surpassed that of the previous player who had a terrible game experience, Mo Tan knew that if this continued, it would only be a matter of time before Krab followed in his footsteps!
Most of the Holy Healing, which had limited effectiveness, was used by Mo Tan on Krab. Although it could still barely maintain his combat power in conjunction with Tenacity Prayer, that was only 'for now'!
One must remember that Mo Tan's magic and faith points were limited!
Yinna's injuries were much lighter, as the elven ranger's evasion ability and speed far surpassed all the enemies present. However, she was not a physically strong Orc like Krab, nor a monk like Salazar who was dedicated to tempering his body and mind. Many attacks that the latter two could endure by simply taking a breather would exact a heavy toll on Yinna if she took even one hit.
Simply put, low HP and low defense!
Originally, Mo Tan could try to maintain the Holy Word Shield (Law) for her, but ever since Salazar broke an arm, he had been a bit overwhelmed…
To be honest, Mo Tan had been able to maintain a relatively tight support rhythm for the past dozen minutes, not only because he used his skills at crucial moments as much as possible, but also thanks to the new talent he had recently acquired.
【Piety: Your devotion to the deity is commendable. Passive recovery speed of faith points is permanently increased by 30%; when you are in combat and remain stationary for 30 seconds, you will enter 'Pious' state, increasing passive recovery speed of magic and faith points by 50%. This state will be removed upon movement and requires meeting 'Pious' requirements again to reactivate.】
This talent was very likely a gift from a god, as Mo Tan didn't feel he had the potential of a fanatic, nor had he achieved any significant merits for the church. Logically, he shouldn't have obtained such a talent so quickly, which seemed more useful in the late game.
This talent was less practical at lower levels… Mo Tan had even complained about it in his mind, taking advantage of the situation.
But at this moment, if it weren't for the support of 【Piety】, he would have exhausted his magic and faith points long ago.
But…
【I can't do it.】
Mo Tan mechanically raised his hands for the umpteenth time, casting the newly cooled Holy Word Shield on Salazar, who had just taken a heavy blow and was already losing his balance.
【Or rather, I can do it, but 'I' can't…】
Ned was forcefully initiating a Charge, attempting to rescue Yinna, whose evasion angle had been blocked by an Orc shield warrior. He succeeded, but was also hit in the back by an enemy closely following him.
【If I were here in another personality, perhaps I wouldn't be in such a predicament…】
Mo Tan stiffly refreshed Ned's Tenacity Prayer, which was about to expire. Just as he was about to heal Krab, he realized his magic was also almost depleted.
His companion had now thrown away his almost ruined axe and was grappling bare-handed with two Orc warriors attempting to flank Salazar, having sustained several new wounds at some unknown point.
【'I' can face any desperate situation and difficulty with a smile, and effectively use everything to achieve my goals, without relying on anyone, calmly enjoying that madness…】
Shuang Ye stopped casting. She had no magic left, and at this point couldn't even cast the simplest fireball…
【'I' can become the most trustworthy reliance for my companions, creating miracles with everyone's own hands through persistence and belief…】
Yinna's face was pale. Although Ned had created a brief respite for her, she had already expended too much stamina, and the current situation was so despairing, with almost no chance of turning the tide.
【But 'I' can't… Despite having the same knowledge, experience, wisdom, and insights, despite being 'me', the one standing here is the most mediocre one…】
Mo Tan's hands clenched powerlessly, his face ashen.
Humans, at some point, will suddenly feel a trace of self-loathing, whether they are geniuses, great people, villains, madmen, or ordinary people, it's always the same.
Regret and remorse, doubt and self-reflection, are privileges of intelligent beings.
Loathing oneself for betraying friends.
Loathing oneself for being cold and heartless.
Loathing oneself for not fulfilling filial duties.
Loathing oneself for resorting to unscrupulous means.
Loathing oneself for lacking courage.
Loathing oneself for being unchanging.
Loathing oneself for being indecisive.
Loathing oneself for being set in one's ways.
Looking back, if we could return to those too many moments we wish not to recall, how much would we want to give our past selves a hard slap?
At that farewell dinner, which had a good atmosphere, if one had mustered the courage to confess, would the outcome have been different?
If one could have taken even half a day off from busy work to visit family, would there have been less regret now?
If one had stood up for a friend in need, even if it meant suffering greatly and being embarrassed at the time, would one be less lonely now?
Of course, this world isn't that sweet…
Even if you bravely confess, you might be publicly humiliated.
Even if you risked being laid off to return home, you might not make it in that last second.
Even if you went to great lengths for a friend, they might sell you out someday in the future.
But just a beautiful possibility is enough to make us regret, dislike, and even hate a past version of ourselves.
But Mo Tan was different… or rather, a large part of him was different…
In his 【chaotic neutral】 state, he liked to treat everything as a form of entertainment, never taking responsibility for his actions. This, of course, included emotions like 'self-loathing' or 'regret.' Even the imminent threat of death would be seen by him as an adventurous game~
In his 【lawful good】 state, he would not do anything against his principles. He always knew what he should do, what he wanted to do. He was constantly responsible for his words and actions and took pride in his good deeds, so he naturally wouldn't dislike himself.
But Mo Tan at this moment was different…
He was no different from most of us, so he greatly disliked this 'can't do anything' self.
Even though he was only a level 2 priest, he had given his all in this encounter, but Mo Tan was still very dissatisfied with himself…
If it weren't for the 'me' now, I could definitely do better!
This was what he thought, and it was precisely because he understood 'himself' too well that such emotions arose. After all, if it were normal people like us, we would generally think, 'Ah, I've done my best.'
It's the same principle as a student capable of scoring 100 points getting more frustrated when encountering a problem they can't solve than a slacker.
The reason this maddening feeling arose was not because Mo Tan and the Fenrir Squad members were so close, so like brothers. In fact, he was very clear about the distinction between game and reality. As for Shuang Ye, there was even less to say; dying just meant being reset.
He was just dissatisfied with himself…
No comparison, no harm. This saying is sometimes not just a joke; Mo Tan was hurt by 'himself.'
Because he was no different from us 'majority.'
We need affirmation. Even when we're angry at ourselves, we just need a little self-comfort…
And Mo Tan at this moment couldn't even find a single reason to comfort himself.
But he wasn't alone…
"Hey! You're slowing down!" Ned stumbled forward two steps, then suddenly turned back and smiled at him, "Are you a little tired?"
Mo Tan was stunned.
Salazar snorted lightly. Before the Holy Word Shield on him faded, he directly crashed into an Orc warrior, simultaneously using a hidden force to push the opponent back four or five steps. He even, rarely, grinned and gave Mo Tan a thumbs-up from afar: "Don't listen to the captain's nonsense, you're really excellent! Especially after my arm broke."
"Heh heh!" Krab snatched a heavy, crude iron hammer, swung it in a wide arc, and smashed the exhausted Orc in front of him down the slope, laughing loudly: "I think with this kid around, I can at least fight twice as well as usual!"
Yinna, at this moment, flashed between Mo Tan and Shuang Ye, raised her hand to shoot an arrow at the guy who wanted to pursue Ned while he was off balance, then turned to the two and smiled sweetly: "The captain never says nice things. You're both amazing!"
Shuang Ye shrugged, pouted towards Mo Tan, and mumbled: "He's much more useful than me. His mana is like it's endless."
Mo Tan was stunned for a long time, until Krab, not far away, signaled him with a feigned scream that it was time for some healing.
It seemed that even if he wasn't 'special,' he was still somewhat useful…
No! Perhaps even more useful!
He raised his hand and cast Holy Healing on Krab, then Mo Tan began to ponder.
Perhaps the current me can't devise any miraculous plans, nor can I mess everything up by myself~
Mo Tan looked around the small and chaotic battlefield.
Nor do I have enough courage and willpower to bear everything, to stand at the forefront and lead everyone to victory.
The figures and movements of each teammate around him were clearly reflected in his eyes. This short period of dedicated support had given Mo Tan a preliminary understanding of everyone.
But…
Only a healer in a support position has the opportunity to quickly grasp everyone's combat habits, movements, and various abilities, allowing for timely healing or buffs.
There are also things that only the current me can do.
What Mo Tan always possessed: sufficient knowledge and wisdom, quick reaction speed, keen insight!
What he only possessed as Black Vatican: a support-oriented profession, an approachable personality, and empathy with most ordinary people!
"Captain!"
Ned immediately turned his head at the sound.
Mo Tan suddenly said in a deep voice, "The position slightly to your left behind you! Suppress the one holding the shield!"
"What do you mean?" Ned subconsciously looked in that direction, then, after a slight hesitation, still charged forward, swinging his sword to force the opponent to raise his shield and block.
Although he wasn't quite sure why he needed to suppress a shield-bearer with little offensive capability at such a time, this didn't prevent Ned from trusting Mo Tan.
This trust was something Mo Tan had nurtured in him, bit by bit, over the past dozen minutes!
"Krab!" Mo Tan offered no explanation, simply casting the Holy Word Shield, which would typically be applied to Ned, on Krab instead, and loudly commanded, "Take three steps back! Swing at the redhead!"
Krab, without a word, took three steps back with a stomp, stomp, stomp, and swung his hammer at an Orc soldier who had been unable to attack due to poor positioning.
The opponent had been conserving his energy, so he easily dodged the attack, but he also instinctively moved to the side.
"Salazar! Blast him away!" Mo Tan immediately said, "Use that move of yours that needs half a minute to recover from!"
Bang!!
The Lizardman monk slapped away the guy who had just moved to the side and was now facing away from him, asking in confusion, "How did you know about my 'Crushing Palm'?"
"Nonsense, I've been watching!" Mo Tan casually replied, extending his right hand flat. A golden halo flashed, but it wasn't any support spell.
Instead, it was the lowest-level divine spell in Holy Light Lore, with extremely poor attack power – Condensing Light Arrow.
But even though this skill had poor attack power, it was bright!
"Yinna!" Mo Tan immediately said after firing the light arrow, "It's this direction. Salazar has already opened up the angle for you! See those dirty butts? Please, a volley!"
"Got it~~~"
Chapter 30: End
