new identity.
New responsibilities.
New mission.
Even the Sun King...even Amen-Haven couldn't do it, so she really wasn't sure she could always do it well.
Just as I was thinking this, I was suddenly pulled into a hug.
"I just like to daydream!"
After gently patting her buttocks twice, Xia Yibing squinted her eyes and looked up at the sky.
"What's stuck in the past?"
"I think you've watched too much in the past and become obsessed."
"If you have to worry about everything, I'd be useless."
"Just watch your movie in peace."
"I will be responsible for what happens in the future."
Chapter 22: The First Hundred Years (I)
Hitzfeld would be lying if he said he wasn't touched by Xia Yibing's habitual tough talk, this kind of comfort that was unique to her and only used on herself.
Although she would not take it seriously, because she believed that nothing in the world was eternal - after all, a life as long as Lana's would be swallowed by the gray fog, and the great people hiding in the gray fog would also collide with the Kingdom of the Sun God in Namiia. She couldn't help but wonder whether there was a stronger force than this in the deep space. Compared with these greater existences, how many traces could a mere goddess of shadow night who was only responsible for keeping secrets leave?
But some promises don’t have to be confirmed before they can be made.
She admitted that she didn't have enough experience.
She had just completed the transformation of her identity, and got used to being an adult, a mother, and a person in power. But she was not yet so used to being at the helm, and she was not yet used to it. The time she had spent so far was perhaps less than one ten-thousandth of her sublimated life.
Will she become indifferent?
Her gaze gazed into the past for a long time, her thoughts often spanning hundreds of years. Sometimes, just by fantasizing like this, she would be afraid, afraid that one day the characteristics of being a "human" would be stripped away from her.
Maybe she will become indifferent, unmoved by life and death because of habit.
She will forget how she grew from a young child to this point. When she celebrates her 10,000th birthday, the scenery she saw in the first thirty years of her life may only be a fleeting glimpse. Even those faces will become blurred and she will not be able to remember them without using the power of the divine eye.
Will Mapes-Dyrant die?
The life of the wooden man is relatively long, but it can never be compared with greatness.
And Ethan, Sixus, Luciel, Alvin...
Regardless of whether their backgrounds and bloodlines were special, the flashbacks she had seen in the past had already proved that nothing was eternal.
If Elwen can achieve immortality through divine blood, then where are her parents and family now?
If the children of the Great Ones are immortal, why did Amen-Hawin lose her daughter?
Hitzfeld was afraid to think like this: she didn't want there to be a day when she stood in front of the last tombstone and placed a bouquet of flowers. When she straightened up and looked around, she would only see tombstones all over the mountains, and each tombstone was engraved with a familiar name.
She didn't want to use her identity as a funeral director in these places. She didn't want the day to come when she would have to make coffins for them with her own hands. She didn't want those familiar figures from reality to walk into her dreams.
She didn’t want that… She didn’t want the divine eyes that gazed into the past to be used for memories, to escape from the suffocating loneliness that was unbearable even when she thought about it now.
So perhaps even Xia Yibing herself did not expect what kind of waves her casual - and serious - promise would stir up in her partner's heart.
There was one more person in those scenes.
They put flowers on tombstones together, built new coffins together, squeezed on beds together to watch old movies, and faced the eternal deep space together.
Nothing can separate them...
Sometimes, a seemingly insignificant bit of courage is enough to support a person's spirit.
Hitzfeld felt much better.
She said nothing, but just leaned her head gently on the woman's chest, closed her eyes, and quietly felt the feeling.
This kind of emotion can infect people...not to mention that as the main body of "Shadow Night", the other half can vaguely sense the emotions and thoughts in the other's heart.
Xia Yibing had to admit that she was shocked.
When Hitzfeld uncontrollably recalled those terrifying visions, she also felt an extremely cold chill that could freeze her heart penetrating her.
Darker than dark, colder than cold.
Its cruel pointer was always turning... Every time the needle tip passed a circle, when the needle tip was about to overlap, she seemed to see it transformed into a huge millstone. Everything... everything, including emotions, all love and hate... would disappear in the millstone and be ground into powder.
This is too... a little suffocating...
Oh, well, she finally understood what Aisuen was worried about. Maybe it was her first time as a captain and she felt uneasy about the mission she was shouldering; or maybe she was worried that this too long life would become a problem in the future.
how to say.
In fact, Xia Yibing herself was not used to it. If she was forced to say it, she was not even sure how long the Goddess of Shadow Night could live.
The time of great men is indeed different from that of mortals.
And unlike Hitzfeld, although she could not see the past, she was based in the present, and sometimes - those very rare flashes of inspiration always made her suspect that she was seeing scenes from the future.
Can we live for 100 million years, or longer?
she does not know.
The only thing that was certain was that what Hitzfeld was worried about was not sentimentality, but something very realistic that they might have to face in less than a hundred years.
But Xia Yibing didn't care.
Yes, she wasn't sure how long she could live.
She wasn't sure what would happen if she lived like this, or if she would have to face something. But she was very clear about one thing: when this person, when Aisuen Hitzfeld separated the "silt" in the Land of Origin and pulled Shasha Imaar out of the quagmire of corpses, nothing could separate them anymore.
They all say…”Till death do us part”.
But it won't happen to them.
The Shadow Night Goddess is composed of two persons, and only when they come together do they become the Shadow Night Goddess.
Their emotions and lives were intertwined at that moment.
Death will not separate them, for they have lived and died together.
Then she would be...very satisfied.
"You know, Aisuen, even after being with you for so long, I still feel very lucky."
Gently supporting the back of Hitzfeld's head and inserting his fingers into the gaps between her hair to tickle her, Xia Yibing's eyes gradually became blurred, and she was also staring at her own illusion.
Then Hitzfeld saw a woman working at a desk, a woman checking things in the library, a woman bathing in the bathroom, and a woman walking alone in the dark.
The person in the office finished writing another piece of paper. She sorted the information aside and arranged it neatly. She breathed a sigh of relief, twirled the pen on her fingertips, and traced the profile of another girl on the white paper below.
The person leaning against the bookshelf finished flipping through a book, stood up and stretched, and suddenly, as if possessed, reached into her pocket and took out a black-and-white photo.
The person bathing was smearing on the wall with the steam, as if she was writing someone's name. She was reluctant to erase the long string, and always started a new line, and then another line...
Countless fragments are converging... converging into a sentence.
"I've been thinking about you in all the time."
"Perhaps the price of becoming a full-time employee after being an apprentice is to face these things, to face life and death, to face farewell..."
"I may not be able to help you, but I..."
Xia Yibing lowered her head and met those eyes.
"I can still miss you..."
"Always."
"Always."
"I've been thinking about you..."
"You give me an impulse." Hitzfeld felt his lips trembling.
It's more than just lips.
Her whole heart.
Her soul trembled.
"A way of abandoning these things, not asking anything, not caring about anything, just madly catering to your impulses..."
Hitzfeld knew that in the minds of everyone who knew her, she was actually a very rare person, a person who could suppress irrational impulses even in the most critical moments and let rationality overwhelm emotion.
But now she knows that the more rational a person like her is, the more unlikely it is that she will be able to reverse a decision.
Because of her rationality, she had considered all the processes and consequences. She thought that she had calculated the gains and losses and accepted them in her heart.
She just wanted those beautiful scenes.
That crazy process...
From the bottom of the valley to the clouds.
"not now."
The back of the head was slapped.
"You said you wanted to cater to me?"
"Now I want you to watch a movie with me."
"We'll talk about it later if there's anything."
"……are you sure."
Hitzfeld began to squint.
"Right now... I may be in an extremely rare and strange state where rationality and sensibility coexist. In this state, I should agree to all your requests, no matter how excessive they are. I am not sure if I can still be in this state in the future."
"You always like to give me difficult problems." Xia Yibing was also suffering.
Although Aisuen was usually obedient, there were always some things she refused to do because of her shyness.
For example, some...
cough……
Movements related to certain sports that can strengthen the body.
But she was very clear why she brought up such a topic. She tried her best to keep her brain clear and remember that she was here to comfort people.
"Let's watch a movie first." Xia Yibing hugged the man's waist tightly with such force that it seemed as if she was forcing herself to make a decision.
"And don't be afraid about Emily."
"There will always be a way."
"Let's figure it out together."
She wasn't sure whether it was right or wrong to point this out, but she clearly felt that Hitzfeld's body trembled slightly.
"...Will you blame me?"
Floating in the air, the latter looked up at her profile.
"I knew clearly that Emily would never reach our level, and this road was blocked and there was no way to go on it a second time. I knew clearly the possible consequences, but I still said that to you, asking you to do the same for your family..."
"I don't think it matters." Xia Yibing shook her head. "Emily will have her own path, and everyone will have their own path."
"We didn't make those efforts just to be together in the beginning, did we?"
"So you don't have to feel guilty."
"To use the words you used to describe Cynder, you're just not used to it yet."
"They are trying to act 'normally' and pretend that everything is normal."
Without saying anything else, Hitzfeld buried his head and let Xia Yibing hug him and float all the way to the castle roof.
It was not until this moment that she took the time to carefully look around.
It feels like there is no difference.
It is still magnificent, like the decorative exterior of a grand temple, with rows of tall columns holding up the white stone, and even the base of the wall is coated with gold powder. The garden is lush and green with birds singing and flowers blooming, and there is a small suspended waterfall hanging from the cliff, falling into the pond and emitting white mist.
"Illusion?"
