Chapter 116: Dongqiang's Courtship Diary
After returning from Shanghai, Qi Long's car was also fixed by Dong Qiang. It was an Audi worth about 300,000 yuan. After taking delivery of the car, Qi Long often drove around his community to practice.
He found that after he had a car accident on the passenger side, he felt panicky in the passenger seat, but he was fine when he sat in the driver's seat.
It's like a person who gets carsick doesn't get carsick when driving. It's magical. I was sitting in the driver's seat and nothing happened. It's just that I wasn't a bit rusty since I haven't driven for two years.
After becoming proficient, Qi Long drove to Tianjin to date.
Zhang Wanyi, like Qi Long, is from Northeast China. The difference is that Qi Long has basically lost his Northeastern accent because he studied in the imperial capital and in Shanxi Province. But Wanyi is different. She still has a strong Northeastern accent.
He was fine on stage, singing drums, but when he was off stage he spoke with a Northeastern accent and had a natural sense of humor.
He was very serious and careful when learning drum music, but sometimes a little confused in private, which brought Qi Long a lot of fun.
Take this time for example, she presented a burden to Qi Long. Qi Long drove to the drum music club. She was in class and had only ten minutes of break time.
"It's okay, go to your class, I'll wait for you after class. I just drove here from the capital and my gas is low, so I'll go fill it up!"
Zhang Wanyi nodded obediently and gave him directions: "There is a gas station at the intersection just after you turn the corner!"
"Okay!" Qi Long said as he got into the car.
Zhang Wanyi stopped him and said, "It's very close, no need to drive!"
Qi Long looked at her with wide eyes, wondering: "What am I going to do?"
"Aren't you going to the gas station to refuel?"
"Then I won't drive?" Qi Long tried to make her sort out her logic.
"Yes, it's very close, no need to drive!" Zhang Wanyi spoke in Northeastern dialect.
Qi Long couldn't help laughing: "I'm going to drink a liter of gasoline and vomit it in the car?"
Zhang Wanyi finally reacted, covering her face with her hands and laughing, she was speechless to herself: "Oh my god, I fainted in class."
"You're awesome!" Qi Long smiled and gave a thumbs up: "I always try to make others laugh, but you made me laugh with just one sentence, hahahaha!"
Qi Long took advantage of her confused nature and planned to tease her. That night, the two of them went out for dinner and sat in the Tianjin Eye. Then Qi Long sent her back and called her.
"Hey, your phone is in my car!"
Half a minute later, Zhang Wanyi ran down the car in a hurry and got on the passenger seat: "Where's my phone?"
"How did we talk on the phone just now?" Qi Long smiled.
Zhang Wanyi finally reacted and hit him with a smile.
This funny experience, which was like a joke, was written into the crosstalk by Qi Long after seeking consent, and the stage effect was very good. The show performed by Qi Long and Dong Qiang that day was still "Dong Qiang's Love Diary" prepared for the special show!
Qi Long talked about his girlfriend's confusion, and Dong Qiang was full of envy: "Otherwise it would be so easy for you to trick her!"
"What do you mean by lying? We are sincere to each other and we are brave enough to say we love each other!"
Dong Qiang said disdainfully: "Yes, if you dare, she dares too. You two dared to win each other's hearts and become fools."
"What do you mean by silly?"
"The words of the Salt Transport City of Jin Province say that you two are stupid, and that love makes people's IQ drop!"
Although Qi Long's "show of affection" was a burden to hear just now, the audience was also jealous. When Dong Qiang said this, they immediately applauded.
Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang: "You are just jealous. Let me tell you, Dong Qiang doesn't have a girlfriend himself, so he envies others who have girlfriends. In the past, someone in our Jin Province Crosstalk Club successfully confessed his love, and they went to KTV to sing together, but Dong Qiang insisted on singing his own song!"
"Which song should I sing?" Dong Qiang asked.
Qi Long took a deep breath: [I wish all the lovers in the world are long-lost siblings, and I wish all the movie theaters and restaurants on Valentine's Day night will be empty. ]
[I wish all the lovers in the world are long-lost siblings. No matter Motel Inn, 8 Days Hanting, Super Holiday Inn, Jinjiang Inn, GreenTree Inn, or Orange Crystal, all of them cannot book a bed! ]
I also heard this song on an app, but Qi Long didn't plan to release it as a single, so he used it in his crosstalk.
The audience in this world has never heard of this. When they heard that they wished all the couples in the world were long-lost siblings, they started laughing wildly and laughed all the way to the end.
Dong Qiang exclaimed, "I wrote a song and also wrote the name of the hotel in Guan Er!"
"I don't even bother to say anything to you, friends. Don't think that he curses other couples. In fact, he also wants to fall in love. He even wrote his courtship experience in a diary called "Dongqiang Love Diary"!"
Gao Dongqiang looked at Qi Long with an incredulous look on his face: "How do you know? Did you peek at my diary?"
"Ok?"
Dong Qiang said seriously: "Let me tell you, peeking at other people's diaries is a very immoral act. People who do this will be struck by lightning!"
Qi Long didn't feel like he was being scolded at all, instead he nodded in agreement: "Yeah, yeah!"
"Hey, I'm talking to you, you immoral person. If you give birth to a child, it won't look like a human being!"
Qi Long suddenly realized: "No wonder you look so human!"
Dong Qiang: "You are talking about me, I am talking about you!"
"I didn't read your diary. It was your father who read it and told me!"
After Qi Long finished speaking, Dong Qiang froze in his place, his embarrassing look of shooting himself in the foot caused a burst of laughter. He just said something righteous, but he didn't expect that he was scolding his father and himself.
Qi Long also whispered: "This kind of person deserves to be struck by lightning, and the child he gave birth to is incompetent."
"I was just talking nonsense." Dong Qiang quickly stopped Qi Long: "I just read the diary casually, I forgot what I wrote!"
"I remember it. It's still fresh in my memory! I'll help you recall it!"
"Please tell me about it."
Qi Long said to the audience: "When we were in high school, many girls wrote me love letters!"
Ignoring the boos from the audience, Qi Long said that many girls at that time were very bold and told Qi Long directly: I want to pick you up!
"What does that have to do with me?" Dongqiang couldn't help but ask.
"You wrote it in your diary," Qi Long held the fan in his hand and made a pen-holding gesture: "Qi Long received a lot of love letters today, and some people even said they wanted to date him. Hum, why didn't anyone date me? I've been feeling miserable tonight!
My mom told me to wash my feet before going to bed. I was washing my feet and looking at the foot bath tub. Damn it, there were people soaking in the foot bath tub, but not me! I didn’t want to soak anymore. I was so angry that I pulled my feet out on the spot! "Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Why would I vent my anger on the foot bath tub?"
"I let you make it, I let you make it!" Qi Long ignored him. After shouting these two sentences, he bent down, held up something with his hands, tilted his neck back and started to drink it up.
Dongqiang quickly pulled him: "Hey hey!"
Qi Long put his hands flat, looked at Dong Qiang, and burped: "What's wrong?"
"Wow!" Dong Qiang fanned himself and said, "Did I drink the foot washing water?"
"Yeah, let's see who else it can soak!"
Dongqiang: "Am I stupid?"
"There is another one. One day, Qi Long and I were walking on the street. A beautiful girl saw Qi Long and said, "You are so handsome. Can I add you on WeChat?"
Ignoring the boos from the audience, Qi Long continued: "I am very angry. Why are people flirting with Qi Long and no one flirting with me? I decided to smoke a cigarette and drink a glass of wine. Smoking hurts the lungs, drinking hurts the stomach, and women are even more cruel and heartbreaking."
When Qi Long said this, Dong Qiang suddenly added: "It also hurts the kidneys!"
After this connection, the whole place burst into laughter.
Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang in surprise: "Oh, you remembered?"
"Yes, I have some impression of it!" Dong Qiang followed him and said, "I forgot the rest, please continue!"
Qi Long: "I took out a cigarette and lit the lighter, but the lighter was so hot that it burned my bangs! Damn it!"
"here we go again"
"Someone else has burned their hair, but I don't. I won't light it. I'll let you burn it, I'll let you burn it." Qi Long held up his finger as a lighter, threw it into his mouth, and started chewing it with a crunching sound.
"I eat lighters raw?"
Qi Long turned around: "Look, you remembered!"
"I just remembered it now. You're talking nonsense. My diary recorded how I learned to woo girls from others, not how I drank foot washing water and ate a lighter. I didn't write these two things in my diary!"
As the audience laughed, Dongqiang finally reacted and hurriedly said, "There is no such thing at all!"
Qi Long tried to make up for it: "Just pretend it's nothing!"
"What do you mean by just treat it as it is? Really not!"
"Yes, you are the one who learned how to date others. You learned it everywhere. You found that many people got the girls they liked by singing!"
"Please tell me more details!"
"The girl likes to watch idol dramas, so he sang the theme song of the idol drama. The girl likes to watch "The Ultimate Three Kingdoms", so the boy sang it for her."
Qi Long cleared his throat and began to sing: [My love can only be possessed by you alone, my spirit and soul are always waiting at the door of your heart]
The song is called "Enough Love" and has a very high pitch. Qi Long even deliberately raised the pitch, which earned him positive reviews from the audience.
"Oh, I learned it?"
"The pitch is too high and you can't come, and you can't ask me to help you sing. The girl will be mine later. Although we are partners, I am willing to help you take care of your wife."
Qi Long was talking sarcastically, but was interrupted by Dong Qiang who said "get out".
"So you chose another song from The Ultimate Three Kingdoms. You found a girl you liked and she was walking on the street. You rushed to the side of the road and raised your hand: Stop!"
Dong Qiang: "Am I confessing my love or robbing someone?"
“You started singing!”
Qi Long started to speak again: [Why are you aiming? Do you want to fight me? Boxing, Tai Chi, Wing Chun, whatever you want, you are still laughing, be careful not to break your teeth, I want to put down my schoolbag and let the fire burn! ]
“I’m just singing this?”
"Yes, the little girl was so scared that she ran away on the spot! He was still chasing after her, and she hadn't even finished singing yet!"
[Don't even think about running away, I will chase you to the ends of the earth and the corners of the sea! ]
This is a song that Qi Long specially found for a TV drama that has both love songs and this kind of contrast that can produce an effect. Even if you haven't watched the drama, you can immediately discover the funny points from the lyrics.
"The girl was so scared that she ran back home, and her brothers came out and beat Dongqiang up!"
"I deserve to be beaten!"
"Dong Qiang was not convinced. Why can others do it but he can't? He went to ask others, and they told him that he had to sing a love song. How scary would it be to sing that? Dong Qiang thought hard and chose a song: "Lost Beauty"!"
“This song is OK.”
[No matter how many landscapes there are, I will never stop, I will only look for the beauty that I have lost. Some people cannot explain what is good about them, but no one can replace them! ]
Qi Long first sang it once, and Dong Qiang exclaimed: "Listen, it's so good!"
"No, you're not familiar with this song, but you're in a hurry to find a partner, so you went to sing it without practicing it well!"
Dong Qiang waved his hands: "I'm a crosstalk artist, if I forget the words, I'll just improvise!"
"You were just improvising. You forgot the lyrics at the last line, and sang out your true feelings in the last line!"
"How do you sing it?"
[Some people can't explain what's good about them, I just want to take a bath with you! ]
"Are you being a hooligan?!"
(End of this chapter)
