Chapter 151 I want to be a writer!
On the crosstalk stage, Qi Long summed up last year and said that they did particularly well, won the championship of the National Crosstalk Competition, held special performances, participated in commercial performances, their names were mentioned in major performances of Deyun Society, and their variety show development was also good.
"In fact, I have done something big. No one knows about it, not even Dongqiang. I am about to join the Writers Association!"
Dong Qiang was surprised: "I didn't know that. You have this skill?"
"Correct!"
"How much is a pair?"
"A pair? Hey, we're not making shoes, we're making the Writers Association, the Authors Association!"
Dongqiang was even more surprised: "You're going to the Authors Association? Why are you going there?"
"Join them!"
"Ah? Are you going to be a writer?"
"Yes, I am also going to publish a book. Nowadays, if you are popular, you have to start talking about your thoughts. Look at my senior brother Guo Degang, he published a book called "Better Than Degang". I have read it, it's not very good. He is good, but I am better than him."
Dongqiang's expression became more and more strange: "Teacher Qi, please wait a moment. Are you sure you have read the book "Better Than Degang"?"
"Seen!"
"What?"
"You are a crosstalk performer. After reading this book, your crosstalk skills will be better than Guo Degang's!"
"Is it possible that the book is called 'Just Right'?"
"Look at how shameless my senior brother is. He's still praising himself. I was wondering why all the songs in there are his crosstalk."
Dong Qiang corrected him: "There is no crosstalk in it, it is his autobiography and his own views on some things!"
Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang uncertainly, feeling embarrassed, and suddenly he laughed: "I know, you are watching a pirated version, and I am watching the official version!"
"I bought it online, how can it be considered a pirated product?"
Qi Long looked at him in shock: "Wow, you actually paid to read a book, the author should kowtow to you!"
"Why do you want to kowtow? Wait, you don't have any money?"
Qi Long nodded vigorously: "Yes, why should I spend money on my senior brother's book? I teamed up with Hou Zhen and took out the toilet paper he used. It's freshly baked and still has fragrance on it!"
"Hey, you smelled it? That thing is so disgusting!" Dongqiang looked conflicted.
You don't have to say it, although this kind of burden is disgusting, it can make people happy.
However, this kind of thing does not account for a large proportion in Qi Long's crosstalk, because there are always people who like to watch crosstalk while eating, and they correct it immediately.
Qi Long didn't understand: "What's so disgusting about it? It's just the toilet paper he just used and wrote all over it. It smells like ink!"
Dongqiang suddenly realized: "That's a manuscript, and there's toilet paper. I thought you stole someone's toilet paper."
"Yes, yes, yes, the manuscript! His manuscript contains the genuine version of Better Than Degang, which is full of crosstalk, but there are problems with the writing!"
"What's wrong?"
Qi Long counted on his fingers and said, generally speaking, in a crosstalk text, Party A and Party B are used to represent the funny man and the supporting man, Party A is the funny man and Party B is the supporting man.
"What does his manuscript say?"
"He wrote my funny character as 1, and you are 2!"
“You’re only 2!”
"Some people write my funny name as A, and yours as B."
"There's no good word for the supporting actor!"
Qi Long nodded happily, counting on his fingers as he said what he had just said: "So, I am the A-level funny guy!"
"Then who am I?" Dong Qiang asked.
"You are supporting B2B!" Qi Long said, Dong Qiang looked at him with ill intention and smiled, and the audience was already laughing.
Qi Long finally reacted: "Oh, no, no, no!"
"Right, right, right, I am supporting the A or B!" Dong Qiang laughed: "It's not easy for the supporting actor to take advantage of the funny actor."
Qi Long lamented: "Alas, but speaking of that, after reading his book, I felt that if he could publish a book even though his writing was so bad, I could do it too, so I went to the Writers Association and asked them to help me publish a book!"
"Have you joined?"
"Not yet. They told me that to join the Writers Association you have to have your works published. Your works have to be published in newspapers and magazines before you can join!"
"Of course!"
"Humph, that's easy. I wrote a short article and went to the newspaper office to publish it. I found the editor-in-chief and handed him my article politely. Please take a look. This is my article. Please correct it, give me some pointers, criticize it, and make any changes you want, as long as you don't change my name!"
"What does the editor say?"
"Very good, no need to change!"
"Wow!" Dong Qiang exclaimed: "I didn't realize you were so talented in writing."
"Of course, I bowed and thanked you. The editor-in-chief called me on the way out. Please go to the left and pay the fee!"
"Pay? You have to pay for publishing your article in a newspaper!"
Qi Long nodded: "That's right, I told him that too. It's fine if you don't give me money, but you also want me to give you money. Is there still the law? Is there still the law? Your editor-in-chief has spoken."
"How to say?"
"You have to pay for placing a marriage advertisement!"
"No wonder you don't need to change it. Are you posting a marriage advertisement?"
The unexpected turn of events amused the audience.
"What's wrong with a marriage advertisement? I asked, and it's the easiest to put in a newspaper. In order to join the Writers Association and have someone help me publish a book, I wrote the marriage advertisement seriously!" Qi Long said with his hands on his hips.
Dongqiang seemed to be watching the fun: "How did you write it?"
"I wrote, my name is Qi Long, I make a lot of money to spend on my wife, even if your betrothal gift is 388,000, as long as you don't see me only twice a year, and are willing to meet and date me regularly, then I am willing to spend money on Ku Ku, and I am willing to follow the new three obediences and four virtues." "Wait a minute, what are these new three obediences and four virtues?"
"Three obediences: obey your wife's orders, blindly follow your wife's principles, and follow your wife unconditionally when she goes out!"
"Where are the four virtues?"
“You must be willing to spend money on your wife, you must understand what your wife means, you must wait for your wife when she is late, and you must remember everything about your wife!”
"Oh, what do you have to remember?"
"Her birthday, her holidays, various festivals, various anniversaries!" Qi Long counted on his fingers.
Dong Qiang nodded and said, "I understand. Just remember to do it!"
The audience burst into laughter, Qi Long almost burst out laughing, he pushed Gao Dongqiang and said: "It's being recorded, you'd better follow the script! It's for all kinds of days!"
"I'm talking about dates. What are the anniversaries?"
"For example, the anniversary of meeting, the anniversary of falling in love, the anniversary of holding hands, the anniversary of hugging, the anniversary of kissing, sit down."
"It's being recorded!" Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long in the same way that Qi Long pushed him, which brought about a good comedic effect.
Qi Long thought for a moment: "It's the anniversary of my first trip on a plane! You have to remember these days. Before the day comes, you have to transfer money and buy gifts. You have to offer them all!"
"You have to offer sacrifices every day? Are you looking for a wife or for your ancestors? It's too troublesome!" Gao Dongqiang's face was full of disgust.
Qi Long also turned his head and looked at him with disdain: "Gao Dongqiang, your ideological awareness needs to be improved. I advise you (what?): You have to open your eyes and see the world!"
"What a mess! Come on, let's get back to the topic. Did you finally put it in the newspaper?"
Qi Long shook his head: "No, it's too expensive. I can't bear to spend money!"
"Hey, wait, didn't you just have so many anniversaries that you had to spend money on?"
"How can spending money on your wife be the same as spending money on yourself?" Qi Long immediately followed up.
Dong Qiang shook his head: "I don't agree with your point of view. People should learn to love themselves first, and then love others!"
"You said it well. I will use him for my next magazine article!"
"Magazine?"
"Yes, if we can't get published in newspapers, let's publish in magazines. I've studied magazines and they all write in the same way. It's easy to get published!"
"How do you write it?"
“Hello, friends from abroad.”
"Ok?"
"You haven't read it, right? Many magazine articles are like this. I have a friend abroad. We did something on a certain day, and how he handled something. From this, I found that we are really different from them. We should learn from them. In order to publish a book, we just make up stories!"
Dongqiang was surprised: "This can be published in a magazine?"
"I sent a manuscript and wrote it using this method, and it was almost published!"
“How did you write this article?”
"I have a friend abroad named Gaole Gaole Dongbala Qiangzeski!"
Dong Qiang scratched his head: "Why did I hear my name in there?"
"I wrote this based on you. I don't have many foreign friends, so I can't make up a friend out of nothing. I wrote: This tall Donbala Qiangzeski is abroad. Every May 520th, he will put on a neat suit, spray his hair with fine gel, buy roses, and carry them to his girlfriend to give her these words. He will also take his girlfriend to a high-end Western restaurant and order a hamburger!"
Dongqiang couldn't stand it any longer: "There's no way you can pass this, I've found several problems!"
“What problems did you find?”
"We just eat hamburgers in a high-end western restaurant? Do you know how big 9999 roses are? Can I hold them? Do you know what the most basic problem is?"
Qi Long was puzzled: "What?"
"May 5th, 20 is the homophone of Chinese characters. I love you. There is no May 520th celebration abroad. You can't even make it up!"
The whole audience burst into laughter. Some of the audience didn't notice it when Qi Long was speaking just now, and only realized how funny it was when it was pointed out.
Qi Long shook his head at this time: "No, no, no, Dongqiang, my manuscript was returned not because of the problems you mentioned?"
"Any other serious problems?"
"They said that your foreign friend must be from the free Western world, not from the Bear Country!"
Dong Qiang glared: "Ah? Your magazine needs to be thoroughly investigated, there is definitely something wrong, don't submit articles to it, we will report it to them after we step down!"
"Hey, you reported me, how can I publish in magazines? How can I join the Writers Association if I can't publish in magazines? If I don't join the Writers Association, who will publish my book? I have already written the book!"
Dong Qiang was shocked: "Wait a minute, Teacher Qi, have you finished writing the book?"
"Yeah, do you know how much I paid to write this book? I was having convulsions everywhere!"
"what?"
"What the hell! For writing and painting, you have to accumulate materials, right? What the hell!" Qi Long gestured.
Dong Qiang corrected: "That's called collecting folk songs!"
"My legs and feet are not good, I use my hands to pump, is it your business?"
"Why can't I control it? If you want to publish a book, I'll help you. My family has money!"
Qi Long raised the corner of his mouth: "It's settled, bye!"
After he finished speaking, he ran off the stage. Dongqiang pulled him back and said, "Wait a minute, I have to ask you what book it is. You have to tell me the content of the book. What if your writing is not as good as Guo Degang's toilet paper? Wouldn't it be a waste of money?"
“Do you still need to listen to the content?”
"of course!"
"I write martial arts novels!"
(End of this chapter)
