Chapter 188 The crosstalk writer is also a screenwriter!
Dongqiang said that his father was going to invest in a movie and let him be the leading actor. Qi Long mocked him, which made Dongqiang look indifferent.
"Believe it or not, my father has already hired a screenwriter to write the script at a high salary. When the time comes..."
After hearing this, Qi Long slowly turned his head in astonishment, then eagerly grabbed Dong Qiang's arm: "Dong Qiang, our dad is looking for screenwriters outside with high salaries, but I can do it, I! A crosstalk screenwriter!"
"A crosstalk writer is also a screenwriter." Dong Qiang repeated to him everything Qi Long had just said.
Qi Long smiled and fawned on Dong Qiang: "I was just joking. Of course you can act in a movie. Look at your senior brother, Yu Qian, a third-level actor."
The audience was laughing, and Dongqiang responded: "He is indeed a third-level actor, but the work he performed was not a third-level work!"
"As his junior, you can certainly act well. The crosstalk I write is well received and popular, so the movie won't be bad either. Besides, I have connections!"
Dongqiang listened to Qilong chattering with a haughty look on his face. Qilong continued to flatter him and promote his own value.
He said that the Extreme Man Gang is popular, right? When the brothers landed on the video website, they said that they would guest-star in each other's movies. At that time, he could call those five men over and star in them for free, saving a lot of money, right?
Dongqiang slowly smiled: "You, a self-made celebrity actor, are very attractive to me!"
"How about it, can I do it?" Qi Long asked quickly.
Dong Qiang said awkwardly: "Of course, you can, but there are a few conditions."
"As long as I get a high salary, I'll accept a few more conditions!"
Dongqiang stated the conditions. First of all, he must be the absolute protagonist. His family is the investor, and he cannot be a supporting role. That won't work.
And when the screenwriter disagrees with him, he has to listen to him.
Finally, Qi Long was asked to write a spy action scene on the spot, and the two of them would act it out. If it was good, then he would be used, if not, then forget it!
Qi Long naturally accepted it all and said it was no problem. It was easy to make up stories. Crosstalk actors made up stories about their partners every day and this job was within his comfort zone.
"Wait a minute, let me add one more rule. My wife is not allowed to have any unclear relationship with you!" Dong Qiang immediately increased the control on the spot after hearing this.
Qi Long slapped his forehead in embarrassment: "The difficulty has skyrocketed!"
"Are you really going to make up a story about me and my wife?"
"No, no, I'm just kidding. We are agents. We can't act like those other dramas where everything ends up being a romance!"
"Yes, I hate those dramas where you start to fall in love!"
"Well, our script is a pure spy drama, without any emotions. I originally wanted to get Liu Tianxian, Gao Yuanyuan, or Zhang Ruonan to play your wife."
Dongqiang grabbed Qilong's arm and smiled: "They can!"
The audience laughed loudly, and some people joked in the underground: "No principles."
Dong Qiang immediately retorted: "What principles do I have to ask for? I want a female star!"
Qi Long flattered him: "As expected of a coal boss's son!"
Another burst of laughter.
"Go, tell the story!"
"There's no rush for the plot. We need to decide on a code name first. All agents have to have code names. You can use a black and white code name, and then put a color in front of it. You see, agents like Black Widow and Scarlet Witch all have colors in front of them. What color do you like?"
Dongqiang thought about it and gave an answer: "I like ochre, dark red, and not ostentatious."
Qi Long nodded: "Great, then your name is, Ochre Evil!"
"Zheshisha?" Dongqiang repeated it twice, pronouncing it the same way as the Henan dialect "what is this?"
Qi Long asked him, "Is it right?"
"middle!"
"Okay, I'll come up with a nickname too. I'm your special agent assistant, so I'll come up with the word 'spy' in Mission Impossible. I like the color cyan, so I'll be called 'Blue Spy'!"
"Green spy?" Dongqiang muttered to him while looking at him.
Qi Long nodded happily and called Dong Qiang by his code name. Then the scene became like this: Qi Long patted himself and asked "What is this?" Dong Qiang replied: My real dad!
The timeless ethical joke made the audience laugh. After hearing the laughter, Dongqiang realized: "This is also an advantage!"
"No, no, they just misheard me. Now let's talk about the plot!"
The plot is very simple. It is about the agent Dong Qiang and his assistant who go to the castle of the villain Black Skull. After surviving many life-threatening situations, they successfully defeat Black Skull.
"Your story sounds so vulgar!" Dong Qiang said with disdain.
Qi Long shook his head: "It sounds vulgar, but you look so handsome when he plays it. I have fulfilled all your dreams of being a spy in this scene!"
"Oh? Let's try it then!"
Qi Long waved his hand and asked people to decorate the castle. Several nephews quickly ran onto the stage carrying chairs, and carried the table in front of them to the back. After a second, they carried it back and took the chairs away.
It seems busy, but actually there is nothing going on.
"What's the arrangement?" Dongqiang looked at the stage in confusion, which had not changed at all.
"Isn't this it?" Qi Long picked up the towel from the table and threw it. Two pairs of sunglasses appeared on his palms, a standard ancient magic trick to hide things.
Dong Qiang was surprised: "Wow!"
"Agent's sunglasses, here, one for each of you!" Qi Long handed him the sunglasses.
The two put on sunglasses and asked the sound teacher to play some music. The sound teacher directly played the opening and closing fashion shows of De Yun Society. The two people who were originally standing back to back and gesturing to each other to play the roles of agents, immediately stood up straight, walked forward, and bowed to the front.
Such nonsensical comedy also made the audience laugh. Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long: "What is this, unboxing?" "Sound engineer, this is the only music you have? We are playing the role of agents, please play some music for the agents!"
This time it was right. As 007's music played, the two began their non-material performance on the stage. They stood back to back, making the number eight with their hands, and then pretended to run forward, somersault on the spot, and then dived into the water to swim without materials.
The two brothers also changed their swimming styles. You stroke breaststroke, I stroke butterfly stroke, you stroke freestyle, I stroke backstroke.
"Hey, there's a boat!" Qi Long shouted, and the two brothers began paddling without a boat again.
Every move he made was filled with cheers and laughter from the audience, especially when he did a somersault, the whole house was filled with applause!
"After overcoming numerous difficulties, Agent Zheshisha and his Qingdie finally..." Qi Long walked to the microphone and began his emotionless narration.
"With his assistant, codenamed Qingdie, your narration made it clear, but it's like you're taking advantage of me."
"He and his assistant Qingdie came to the Black Skull's castle!"
"Okay! Let's take action!"
"Wait, Agent Zheshisha, I'm ready. Give the villain role to an actor you hate and who you want to beat but can't normally do. During the filming, you can use your power for personal gain and beat him up hard. Hahahaha!" Qi Long leaned over and liked it.
"You are still bad. I think it's great. Who are you going to invite?"
"Guo Degang!"
"Hey" Dongqiang quickly stopped Qi Long: "You are crazy, don't take me with you, there are still several tours to come!"
"You're a movie star, and I'm a famous screenwriter. Are we afraid of him?"
"Yes, hum!" Dong Qiang snorted coldly: "No, no, no, wait a minute!"
"what happened again?"
"His, Guo Degang, has several movies with a combined rating of less than 10. Wouldn't it ruin our movie if he participated in it?"
Under Qi Long's influence, the actors of Deyun Club now have three major jokes about the owner: height, appearance, and bad movie ratings.
"Yes, then let Yu Qian come, all the films he makes are good!"
"No, no, no, our sect is different from yours. The brothers and sisters hate each other. I don't hate my brother. Let my master play this role, okay?"
This was the joke that Dongqiang added to his crosstalk. Qi Long had already laughed, and now it was the audience's turn to laugh.
After a short while, the two of them got into the role. Dongqiang was about to attack the Black Skull's castle, and Qi Long made two "buzzing" sounds and picked up the fan: "Agent Zheshisha, the Black Skull sent you a video call!"
"Hmm?" Dongqiang picked up the fan and clicked on it.
Qi Long put his hands behind his back with an arrogant attitude: "Ochre evil, hahaha, ouch, ouch, ouch."
Dongqiang turned around and asked him, "Assistant, what's going on?"
"The signal is bad, please play it again!"
Dongqiang clicked the fan again, and Qilong imitated Mr. Shi Fukuan again with his hands behind his back: "Ochre evil, hahaha, oh, how fresh, you actually want to kill me, what the hell? Screw you!"
After the performance, Qi Long came over and asked, "What did Black Skull say?"
"He said some funny quotes!" Dongqiang handed the fan back with a puzzled look on his face.
Dong Qiang's retelling made the audience laugh. It matched the Black Skull played by Shi Fukuan who appeared earlier!
"Assistant Qingdie, what do you think?" Dong Qiang asked Qi Long after laughing.
Qi Long shook his head: "I am stupid and don't know what you mean!"
"I know!" Dong Qiang slammed the table. "He used the words of a straight man to describe me. Doesn't that mean he treats me as the funny man? Calling me the funny man, what's the difference between that and cursing in the street?"
"what?"
Laugh out loud.
"Is it too much?" Dong Qiang asked, "Anyway, that's how my investors understand it!"
Qi Long nodded: "Yes, it's too much, agent, let's take action!"
"action!"
"Buzz buzz buzz" Qi Long's phone rang again.
This time, it was the principal of the Special Agent Academy who played the role of Hou Zhen. When Dong Qiang pressed the fan, Qi Long said while picking up the meat without a physical object.
"Agent Zheshisha, look, I ordered Kung Pao Chicken today. The peanuts and chicken made a crunchy sound. The whole dish made a crunchy sound."
Dongqiang was anxious: "Leader, is there something important?"
"Yes, the Ochre Agent, I'll leave it to you to deal with the Black Skull. When you come back, I'll treat you to Kung Pao Chicken with peanuts in it."
After hanging up the phone, Dongqiang said that the leader was too poor and he should take action quickly.
Buzz buzz, this time it’s Dongqiang’s wife, and Qi Long plays the girl again. After Dongqiang presses the fan, she cries with tears in her eyes.
"Black Skull is too dangerous. If anything happens to you, what will happen to us? If it really doesn't work, you can leave Qingdie behind. She can take care of us!"
Dongqiang sacrificed his own family for the sake of everyone, and after he had finally comforted his wife, he received another call.
This time he was completely annoyed: "Qi Long, your entire script is all about answering phone calls? Do you have any business to do?"
"Turn off the phone. Turn it off after you take this."
Dong Qiang pressed down the fan, and Qi Long shouted, "Is Big Brother home? Pick up the package!"
"No, I'm busy with work! How can a courier call me, an agent, on my phone? Turn it off immediately and carry out the mission!"
(End of this chapter)
