Chapter 230: "Five Senses" (Part )
Everyone started to get busy. Dongqiang, the muscular man, did not get his appearance fee for nothing. He had to help the staff set up the stage and carry various equipment and props.
Others were memorizing lyrics, some were writing scripts, and others were still calling for possible guests.
The stage was set in an open space in a rural field, and there was no teleprompter or anything like that, so everyone was very active in order to avoid any accidents during the performance.
Qi Long sat in the room calmly writing the lines, and modified the original lines based on some actual situations!
Not long after, he went out with the script.
Everyone was surprised when he came out. You finished writing the lyrics in just 20 minutes? I'm afraid you wrote without thinking.
"Wow, your work efficiency is so high!" Sa Beining, the director of the village evening show, gave a thumbs up.
Nigmat pointed at Director Xie who was with a bunch of machines and said with a smile: "Look, Director Xie's face has changed. He didn't expect it to be so easy for us. He wanted to see us in a hurry!"
Sa Beining has already started reading the lyrics and laughed out loud: "This ear, this sly look of the ear, it has to be me!"
"And me?"
"Qi Long has already written it, you are a nose, and you have to speak a little Uyghur!"
"it is good!"
Zhu Guangquan also had the right to choose, he chose the eyes, and the only ones left were Gao Dongqiang's.
After the roles are assigned, we will memorize the script. When we have memorized it almost completely, we will start rehearsing together. The performance will be tomorrow night, so time is relatively tight.
As for the third blank language program, Qi Long will not get involved. Let the CCTV hosts think about it themselves. As a guest, it is enough for me to help you produce two programs. If it really doesn't work, you can go up and recite poems!
Dongqiang was also very fast at memorizing lines. In a group crosstalk, apart from the one in the middle that had the most lines, the lines he was assigned were average and he finished memorizing them very quickly.
The two brothers were bored, so they went to a barbecue restaurant in the village to eat barbecue.
The barbecue in Xucheng is not inferior to that in other places. The most roasted item is lamb. There is even a carnival festival called the Sheep-Fu Festival. During that period, there will be discounts on roasted lamb, so you can eat as much as you want.
What Qi Long and Dong Qiang like most is that in Xuzhou people eat barbecue with vinegar.
Different from the fragrance of Shanxi Province's aged vinegar, the vinegar here is sweet. Dip the roasted kidneys and various unspeakable things with a bit of fishy smell into the sweet vinegar and then eat them. The fishy smell will be much less and it is quite refreshing. Put it in a pancake, it is so delicious!
Dongqiang thought it was too oily at first, but after Qilong invited him to eat a piece, he praised it: "Wow! Fried kidneys, amazing!"
But he was still very restrained and ate the cold dishes.
"It lives up to its reputation, haha. Eat more. The program crew will reimburse you. You'll miss it later. I'll lose weight later!" Qi Long wanted to get up and add more skewers.
The photographer who followed them said, "The production team won't reimburse, they'll deduct it from the members' activity funds. They'll use that activity fund for a whole season of the show!"
Qi Long was surprised when he heard that the meal would not be reimbursed. After hearing the whole story, he breathed a sigh of relief: "Then you have to eat more!"
"Of course, we two are taking advantage and can't wait until tomorrow!" Dongqiang, who originally didn't plan to eat much, heard that the guest expenses could be deducted, so he had a little more for the show effect.
Both of them are now professional variety show hosts. They know that the audience likes to watch the guests play tricks on each other, so they have to do it.
Otherwise, would it be a waste of work?
Qi Long called out, "Photographer, you've worked hard, come and have something to eat. Check if there are any staff members who are hungry or have low blood sugar, call them over to eat something."
When we got back, Sa Beining was shocked. How could the two of you eat barbecue worth more than 300 yuan without drinking any alcohol?
This is not the capital. A skewer of lamb costs six yuan. That’s more than two yuan for one skewer of lamb!
"If you don't reimburse us, we can only eat to make up for our losses!" Qi Long said with a smile: "Well, have you memorized the lyrics? Once you have memorized the lyrics, I will give you some pointers on your expressions and movements. Your money will not be wasted!"
That night, Qi Long and Dong Qiang slept with several male hosts on mattresses and mats spread out on the meeting table of the village committee.
Conditions in China are better now. Every household in the village has air conditioning, so it’s not hot and we don’t suffer.
However, when I arrived at the venue for rehearsal the next day, I felt a little annoyed.
The stage venue is in a field outside the village. There are usually not many people there, just the farmers working there, so mosquitoes usually eat little. When they see people, they fly towards them crazily.
And like a starving ghost, it will stay on your skin and will not run away even if you hit it, but will just suck you in.
"Even a mosquito knows that it would rather die with a full stomach!" Qi Long complained as he looked at the big lump that was visible to the naked eye on his arm.
The program crew quickly sent over some floral water.
"Buy more, deduct it from the budget, and give some to the audience in the evening!" Qi Long continued with the floral water and said with a smile: "Otherwise it will become a mosquito buffet!"
"Can you save some money?" Sa Beining came over to make a fuss after hearing this, but he did not stop the staff.
They are here to bring joy to everyone. If they are all bitten and covered with bruises, what is the joy?
Although Xiao Sa complained, he felt in his heart that Qi Long was still thoughtful. He always put others first and thought of the audience first.
Before the show started, villagers came one after another, eagerly waiting for the show to begin. Qi Long and the three cross-border crosstalk hosts were also working hard backstage to polish the show.
Although time is tight, Qi Long will not compromise when it comes to crosstalk and strives to achieve the best results possible.
You are holding this rice bowl, so you must not let it be broken at any time, even if there is just a slight crack.
The CCTV hosts are also the elites among the elites. They remembered what Qi Long said very quickly and executed it well. When the official performance began, everyone was full of confidence and eager to try.
After the opening performance of the fan dance by rural aunties and several song and dance programs, it was time for their group crosstalk.
"A successful evening party cannot be without the support of language programs. I heard that crosstalk artist Qi Long also came to our village evening party, but he seemed to have encountered some troubles. Let's listen together!" Kang Hui announced in his extremely standard Mandarin.
Bingbing, who was the guest female host, said: "Please enjoy the crosstalk 'Five Senses', performed by: Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang, Sa Beining, Zhu Guangquan, Nigmat!" "Great!" The villagers loved this sudden evening party very much. Many stars who only appeared on TV actually came to perform for them at close range, so they were very enthusiastic and supportive.
Qi Long was in the center, and he walked onto the stage with his four partners, saluting with his fists.
"I am the crosstalk artist Qi Long, and I would like to say hello to everyone with my five senses!" Everyone bowed together.
Everyone is a little bit confused, what kind of facial features are they wearing? What does this mean?
Because there is no "Five Senses Competing for Merit" in this world, if you proceed directly, the audience may be confused, so Qi Long started to explain after he finished speaking.
"You guys may not know this, but I have a special ability. My facial features can fall off my face and transform into human form, which is the four of them. Please introduce yourself to them one by one!"
Qi Long walked to the first position on the side, and Zhu Guangquan picked up the microphone: "I am Qi Long's eyes, I wish everyone to smile!"
"My eyes look old enough and I have white hair!" Qi Long pointed to the top of his head.
"Isn't it because you overuse your eyes, using your computer and phone every day?"
"Oh, it's my fault. Next one!" Qi Long changed his expression, walked to the next one, and laughed again.
Sa Beining raised the microphone cheerfully: "I am Qi Long's ears, I wish everyone to listen to all directions!"
"My ears are small and delicate, they don't catch the wind!"
"Yes, I'm having a seizure!" Sa Beining shook his head, and Qi Long changed his expression and pushed him aside.
Next is Gao Dongqiang. As a mouth, as a mouth, I wish everyone to smile often. Qi Long commented that his mouth is quite muscular.
"Of course not. A crosstalk artist has to practice his tongue every day. How can he not have muscles? I tell you, Qi Long can use me to do mouth push-ups!"
"Mouth push-ups?" Qi Long wondered.
Dong Qiang pouted and pointed at his mouth: "Put your mouth on the ground and move it up and down. Would you like to try it?"
"I can't come. I'm talking nonsense!"
Finally, it was Nigmat’s nose. He wished everyone: #%&…… (Uyghur)
"What do you mean?"
"It's Uyghur, which means I wish you all good health!"
Qi Long laughed: "Oh, my nose is a minority nose?"
"Yes, the noses of ethnic minorities are very charming. You specially had it done. It's the same as Dilraba Dilmurat's."
"I'm a grown man, why should I wear the same clothes as girls?"
After introducing everyone one by one, Qi Long began to talk about his troubles. What were his troubles?
I was so happy yesterday when I heard that I was invited to participate in the village evening party. However, the CCTV host Kang Hui who invited me insisted on getting me to drink. As a result, I was caught for drunk driving, fined, and my driver's license was confiscated. How could I be happy?
"You should be glad that it's your first time. If it's your second time, you will still be detained!" Sa Beining instantly turned into a legal program host and began to educate people about the law.
Qi Long waved his hand: "Don't pretend here. I called your five senses out today to interrogate you. Whose responsibility is this?"
As soon as these words were spoken, everyone dispersed, saying that it was none of their business and had nothing to do with them, and they were all trying to shirk responsibility.
"Wait a minute, no one can escape, you all have to tell me. Eyes, you who see it first, go first!" Qi Long commanded.
The most feared thing about group crosstalk is chaos, so usually one person lets everyone speak in turn, and a lot of repetitive jokes are added in to achieve a comedic effect.
Zhu Guangquan looked in the opposite direction of Qi Long: "What did I see?"
"You talked to me!"
"Aren't I targeting you?"
"I'm over here!"
Zhu Guangquan turned around, walked past Qi Long and walked towards another person on his other side: "Oh, you are here?"
Qi Long reached out and pulled him, pointing at himself: "Me, say it to me!"
"Oh, Qi Long, it has nothing to do with me. Everyone knows that Qi Long has a problem with his eyes!"
"What's wrong with my eyes?"
"Slant eyes!"
"Where am I squinting?"
"Hehehe, here's the score. Normally you don't squint, but if a woman appears, especially one with a pretty face, you can't control your eyes. You squint, which leads to a lot of dangers. You bumped into a telephone pole and flattened your nose, so you went for plastic surgery and got a brand new face."
"Are you trying to rhyme? I'm asking you about drunk driving, why did you ask me to glance at a pretty girl?" Qi Long shouted angrily.
Zhu Guangquan spread his hands and said, "It was a male traffic policeman who came. I didn't look at him. I just closed my eyes! So, I didn't see it. It's none of my business!"
Well, my eyes have shirked their responsibility, so I have to ask the next one.
(End of this chapter)
