Chapter 232 Qi Longdong Qiangcun Evening Show Ends
Qi Long breathed a sigh of relief after getting off the stage. He was still worried about problems when performing crosstalk with three crosstalk hosts from other fields. Although he appeared confused while answering others on the stage, he was actually very focused. Once he made a mistake, he would immediately rack his brains to come up with an impromptu solution to remedy the situation.
The same went for Dongqiang. After they stepped down from the stage, they looked at each other and both laughed.
Excellent people are still excellent. Although they are from different fields, the performances of the three of them can be said to have exceeded expectations and were even better than the rehearsal results.
The audience was also very supportive, constantly giving confidence to the five performers on the stage with laughter and applause.
After performing this show, Qi Long and Dong Qiang no longer had any pressure. After that, when they went on stage to perform crosstalk, they didn't have to be nervous at all. They just treated it as a small theater. Anyway, the program crew would cut out the inappropriate parts, so there was no pressure at all.
The two of them just sat in the audience and enjoyed the performance. Dong Qiang patted Qi Long.
"what happened?"
"Help me think of some jokes. The talk show that Acong is going to complain about has invited me to complain about him. Hahahaha. Finding a crosstalk artist to complain about him, isn't this courting death?!"
Dongqiang and Acong are very good friends, but aren’t the lyrics for that talk show that complains written by the screenwriter?
"If what they write is not good, I can add the good ones we came up with!"
Qi Long thought about it and found a bag that could be used.
"Just say that Brother Cong is like Liu Bei in my heart."
Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Why? Every time I look at his private life, it feels like I'm looking at the emperor's uncle?"
Qi Long was amused by Dong Qiang's ability to turn the baggage over. "Hahahaha, your baggage is also OK, but I was thinking of another one. He and Liu Bei have one thing in common."
"what?"
"I will never treat my second brother badly!"
Dongqiang also clapped his hands and laughed: "Hahahahaha, you're awesome!"
The two of them didn't bring any microphones, so from the perspective of the program crew, they thought they were rehearsing for the next program. In fact, there was no need to rehearse at all. "I Love Traveling" is just about talking about different places. What's there to rehearse about?
As long as we have the basics covered, we can go on stage and perform.
The shows went on one after another, and when a middle school choir finished performing their choral repertoire, it was their turn.
"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk: "I Love Traveling", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!"
"it is good!"
Language programs are a popular form of evening party, but in recent years they have disappointed everyone due to various "dumplings". However, Qi Long and Dong Qiang's programs are still worth looking forward to.
The two men went on stage and bowed. This was not a crosstalk according to the script, so Qi Long took over the conversation.
"Just now, the choir of Xucheng Middle School performed a classic song, Auld Lang Syne!"
"Correct!"
"You sang really well. Some people say that the friendship during school days is always nostalgic. After graduation, when you have a class reunion, sometimes you don't have that feeling anymore."
"Why is it gone?"
"Everyone is busy with life, and their edges have been smoothed. They talk less about dreams and more about reality. Moreover, after being baptized by society, some people have always changed. Take me for example. When I had a reunion with my high school classmates, I was still an unknown crosstalk artist who went around doing private jobs.
Today I go to a music festival to be a doll, tomorrow I go to a beer festival to hand out flyers, but they are different, they all drive luxury cars, hold nice wallets, and talk about how great their careers are, and they look down on me in their words! "
Dong Qiang commented: "This kind of party is really annoying!"
"When it was time to pay the bill, all those rich classmates were looking behind them, eh? Where's my wallet? My wallet is gone!"
"Are you running away again?" Dong Qiang frowned even more.
He also didn't know what Qi Long was going to say because it was completely improvisation.
"Well, I'm a good person, so I paid the bill and rode my bike home. What a class reunion."
"Never go again?" Seeing that Qi Long had left him a message, Dong Qiang said logically.
Qi Long: "Come again next time!"
"Ok?"
"As soon as I got home, I opened my schoolbag and found more than 20 wallets in it, all with a lot of money, haha!"
Here comes the reversal. You thought he was complaining about his classmates, but actually he was saying that he was a thief.
"Oh, so you stole the wallet? They were having a class reunion, where did you go to work?"
Qi Long nodded: "Why else would I always go to work in crowded places? It's easier to take advantage of people when there are a lot of people around. I have to work hard to make money. I have my dream!"
"What is your dream?"
"Travel around the world! I love traveling. Traveling is good. I can see different customs and cultures. Take Xucheng for example. It has many talented people and beautiful women!"
"Indeed, there are quite a few in the audience!" Dongqiang pointed at the aunties in the audience and the audience who came from the city after hearing about the show on the Internet.
His praise made the female audience in the audience very happy and they were all smiling.
Qi Long continued, "Look, how beautiful it is. Let's talk about Jinling next to it. Jinling is a place of outstanding people and beautiful scenery. It produces salted duck and beautiful women! Jinhua, it produces ham and beautiful women. Hengcheng, it has a film and television city and beautiful women!"
Dong Qiang interrupted him: "You are only thinking about the beauties? Are you looking at the local customs and people? Just look at the beauties!"
"This is about appreciating beauty. Of course, it's not just about beautiful women, there are also places with beautiful scenery, like Guilin!"
"Eh? Right!"
"Guilin is the most beautiful girl in the world!"
"Why is she a beauty again? Be careful, don't bump into a telephone pole and get your nose flattened just because you're looking at a beauty!"
This was the program before the impromptu joke. The villagers in the front row had all heard the previous program, so the effect was very good when they said this, but the new audience in the back were confused.
Is it so funny to get your nose flattened?
After talking about beauties, let’s talk about tourism. Many places charge admission fees, but some places can use unique methods to solve the ticket problem.
"You've heard of the Summer Palace, right?"
"Of course, it's a famous garden building in the imperial capital!"
"Do you have tickets?"
"Yes, four dollars a piece!"
"There's a top-notch hotel called Aman in the Summer Palace. The back door leads directly to the Summer Palace. You don't need a ticket. As long as you spend 88 yuan on their cheapest dish, you can enter. It saves money!"
"Is this saving money? You can get in for four dollars but you spend eighty-eight on a dish? You are so stupid!"
“This is a bit of a loss, but there are still places that are free!”
Qi Long talked about some famous scenic spots in China, such as Tengwang Pavilion, where you can get free admission if you can recite "Tengwang Pavilion Preface"; Jianmen Pass, where you can get free admission if you recite "The Difficult Road to Shu"
He immediately mentioned several similar scenic spots, but then he said it was a pity because these poems, essays and articles were too long and people with poor memory could not memorize them. "I'm telling you, there is a place where you can enter for free as long as you memorize a sentence!" Qi Long shared with everyone with a proud look.
"Where? Which sentence?"
"Listen carefully, I will only say this once!" After seeing Dongqiang listening attentively, Qi Long opened his mouth and said, "Sister-in-law, Dongqiang is not at home, I am here!?"
The audience burst into laughter. Dongqiang, who was listening attentively, pushed him away and said, "Go to hell, you can enter my house for free?"
"No, sometimes I also bring things, like shoe covers!"
"There is no comma in the middle, right?" Dongqiang asked seriously.
The audience burst into laughter again. The two of them took advantage of the editing and treated it as a small theater. Director Xie said they could have fun, so the two of them started to have fun, and they told dirty jokes that people could understand immediately.
It is said to be Guo Degang’s program, but in fact Qi Long changed a lot of content.
After visiting China, it’s time to go abroad: “The tableware used for eating abroad is different from that in China!”
"That is!"
"We are chopsticks, they are knives, forks, chainsaws and so on."
“No chainsaws.”
"Knife and fork, I went abroad and ate their pancakes. Hey, their pancakes have eggs stuffed into them, plus sausages, lettuce and so on. Hey, they are so delicious, I can eat four!"
"Wait a minute, you saved so much money to go abroad and eat egg-filled pancakes?"
"There are not only egg-filled pancakes, but also other delicious dishes. Grind all kinds of grains into powder and mix them together. Then spread it on a round electric baking pan and add some lettuce, crispy sausages and eggs."
"Multi-grain pancakes?"
"There's something better. Add the stewed meat to the pancake!"
"Lazhi Roujiamo, have you been abroad, or have you stayed in Huaxia Snack Street?"
Qi Long was also anxious. He knew what he was talking about, and shouted with his hands on his hips:
"There's something you've never tasted before. Use that pancake to dip the sizzling kidneys in sweet vinegar, put it in the pancake, roll it up and take a bite!"
"Don't mention it, I just had it yesterday, Xu Cheng fried kidneys!"
The laughter in the audience when they listened to the egg-filled pancakes and multi-grain pancakes was not so loud, just chuckles, or they were amused by Qi Long's gestures.
When I saw the food I was familiar with, I just burst into laughter!
"Have you ever been abroad?"
"I have been there, really. I went there by plane. I was afraid that I might not be used to the foreign drinks, so I bought a huge bottle of Coke!"
The audience burst into laughter, they thought you were going to say something, but you ended up having a Coke?
"Isn't that thing from abroad?"
"I didn't know at the time. I was carrying a bottle of Coke, but the airport wouldn't let me board the plane. I had to check it in or throw it away. I wondered how I could throw it away? I had to pay for it, so I just opened the bottle and it went sizzle (simulated the sound of air being deflated)."
After the sound of deflation ended, Qi Long rotated his palms, opened them completely, and performed the drinking of Coke without any physical objects, ton ton ton.
"It's a huge bottle. Did you drink it all?"
Qi Long put down his drink and burped, and Dong Qiang waved his hand to fan him in disdain.
"My stomach was churning after I got on the plane."
"Can nonsense not be swirling?"
"Stewardess, can you open the window for some fresh air?" Qi Long shouted, "She told me no!"
"Of course not!"
"I said, then ask the driver to stop in front and let me get off. I want to vomit!"
The whole audience burst into laughter. Did anyone ask the plane to open the window or stop?
"If you go down, you will fall to your death!"
Afterwards I vomited into the vomit bag and landed safely. Being abroad is not as good as I imagined. The Eiffel Tower is quite tall, but the surrounding layout is not as good as the park downstairs in our community.
Moreover, the road is full of homeless people and emits a foul smell.
The most important thing is that I was beaten. I don’t know why, but the streets of Frankfurt are full of black people.
"I noticed a black woman wearing black stockings, and quickly went up to her and asked: Where did you buy these black stockings? I got beaten!"
"Why was he beaten?"
"People said I was wearing flesh-colored stockings!"
Another hilarious and unexpected joke. It’s true that flesh-colored stockings worn by yellow people are called flesh-colored stockings, and black people wearing black stockings are called flesh-colored stockings!
"I understand. Next time when I see a white person wearing white stockings, I must say they are flesh-colored stockings!" Dongqiang repeated the joke and made it funny.
Later, the pyramids were discovered. Two mummies were stolen and sold at Panjiayuan. I don’t know how much money I could make.
Dongqiang said that there were numbers for all of them.
"Why do you still have to count? Every night, number seventy-seven, come, number seventy-eight, come, number seventy-nine, seventy-nine!"
Number 79, Qi Long didn’t even say it himself, he was just shouting.
As a result, a group of people in the audience responded: "Here we go!"
"Hey, now it's over 90!" Dong Qiang commented.
Qi Long was also surprised: "So many people came from the pyramids? Can they catch the plane back home?"
After talking about some scenic spots that Chinese people found not so interesting when they went abroad, the crosstalk was coming to an end. Qi Long encountered problems again when he was flying this time. The plane would not start, so he organized them to push the plane together, but the plane took off and left them behind.
Let's take the next plane. Something happened mid-flight. Let them parachute out. Everyone else's parachute opened, except Qi Long's.
"I was falling in the air, and a man flew up from below. I quickly asked him: 'Can you repair a parachute?'"
"It's too late to repair in mid-air!"
"He said no and asked me: Can you repair a gas tank?"
Dong Qiang was shocked: "Did it collapse?"
The two men took a step back and bowed to say goodbye, and the crosstalk ended.
(End of this chapter)
