Chapter 247 Dongqiang Family Development History
After Qin Xiaoxian and Sun Jiuxiang finished the first opening performance, Qi Long and Dong Qiang came on stage. The crosstalk they performed was "Dong Qiang's Father's Wedding Diary"!
Qi Long pointed to the place where Qin Xiaoxian had just stepped down and said, "Qin Xiaoxian is also a man with dreams. He wants to be Guo Qilin! My dream is much simpler!"
"Who are you?" Dongqiang asked.
“I want to be Guo Degang!”
This is the kind of joke that doesn't need any translation. As soon as you hear it, you can tell that the man wants to be someone else's father, and the audience laughs.
So Dongqiang asked like this: "Oh, you want to usurp the throne and become the boss? Look, this is the anti-king special!"
"It doesn't matter whether I'm the class owner or not. I just want to be Guo Qilin's father." Qi Long waved his hand.
"Why do you have to be his father?"
"My dream is to be the father of a rich second generation. I just want to be the father of a rich second generation. I don't care which rich second generation it is. For example, I can be Qin Xiaoxian's father, Guo Qilin's father, and Gao Dongqiang's father!"
"Go, you want to copy me for a bargain?"
Qi Long waved his hand: "What do you mean by cheap? I just feel that my life is hard and I want my children to have a better life. I want to make more money so that my children can be carefree rich second generation. You see, I have always envied Dong Qiang's life."
"What's there to envy?"
"Their family is amazing! They are rich!"
Dong Qiang stretched out his hand to stop him, and said with a serious and solemn expression: "You are wrong, I have rice at home!"
Well, I still remember the incident of being blocked by mistake! The audience applauded and laughed.
"Yes, we have rice. Why do we have rice? In the past, when there was an emperor, their family was an official. At that time, the salary they received was in the amount of grain, so they said they had rice at home!"
"That's right!" Dongqiang nodded.
"You must have heard of a term, 'Gaomen Dahu'. The allusion of this term is their family. Gaomen means the family with the surname Gao, and Dahu means that their family is a high-ranking official, and opened an account."
“Is this idiom from our family?”
"During the Tang Dynasty, their ancestor was already a high-ranking official. You all know Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, right? He saw him every day. He was so close to the famous poet Li Bai that they would take off their shoes and get on the kang together. Even Yang Yuhuan, Yang Guifei, his ancestor would see her whenever he wanted!" Qi Long said seriously.
Dong Qiang stopped him: "You are going too far. Officials from the previous dynasty cannot see concubines in the harem, especially the favorite concubines. It is taboo!"
"Your ancestor had special privileges, given by Emperor Xuanzong of Tang himself, and it's famous in history books!"
"Who is that?"
"Gao Lishi, you all know Li Bai, right? He was the immortal poet at that time. Many people wanted to cling to Li Bai's thighs. His ancestor Gao Lishi was a person who could flatter Li Bai. He helped Li Bai take off his shoes, and he could even smell them after taking them off."
When Da Qi Long said these three words, there was laughter from the audience, because Gao Lishi was a eunuch!
Dongqiang just watched Qi Long bragging silently, until he got to the point of taking off shoes and smelling feet, and then he finally couldn't help it.
"Wait, don't push your hobbies on others!"
The audience laughed.
"No, it's your ancestor Gao Lishi's hobby!"
"Where is your ancestor Gao Lishi? Gao Lishi was the most virtuous eunuch in history. Can eunuchs have descendants?"
Now there was loud laughter. Those who chuckled just now were those who knew that Gao Lishi was a eunuch. Some people may have forgotten this knowledge or had never come across it before. After Dong Qiang explained it this way, everyone remembered it or just knew it. Oh, a eunuch?
Qi Long was confused: "Gao Lishi is a eunuch?"
"Yup!"
"So it's your ancestor!"
"What does it matter?"
"It's a big deal, Gao Lishi. How can a eunuch be a strongman? He doesn't have enough male hormones, so he can't grow muscles. So he has to drink protein powder to supplement it. This habit has been passed down to your generation. Look at you, you drink protein powder every day, right?"
Dongqiang interrupted him, saying that the unique twisted logic and nonsense of crosstalk can still be applied. How can liking to drink protein powder be considered hereditary? He drinks it himself, and his father doesn’t drink it either!
Qi Long further explained: "Liking to drink protein powder is a recessive gene. Maybe your previous generation didn't like to drink it, and your previous generation didn't like to drink it. Now your recessive gene has become dominant, and you like to drink it."
“But there was no protein powder at that time!”
"No, but he can drink milk and eat cheese, which is also considered high-quality protein. I'm afraid you won't understand!"
Dong Qiang pulled him aside and said, "Teacher Qi, I just don't understand. You know about heredity, dominant and recessive genes, and high-quality proteins, but why don't you know that eunuchs can't give birth to sons?"
Qi Long put on a puzzled expression: "Eunuchs can't have children?"
"Nonsense, how can you give birth without that function?"
"It is said that Cao Cao is the descendant of a eunuch. Where did Cao Cao come from?" Qi Long asked righteously.
Dongqiang said that Cao Cao's father was adopted by his grandfather who was a eunuch.
"Isn't it a done deal? Your ancestor also adopted a son, and then the inheritance will be passed down to you!"
"Then here comes the question again, Teacher Qi, where did the adopted son's genes come from?"
"Look, you don't understand. You always interrupt me because you don't understand. Can you adopt someone casually? It's important to keep the wealth within the family. You must adopt someone from their family. His brother's son, his nephew, and his nephew have the same genes as his uncle. Isn't that unreasonable?"
Qi Long finished speaking and looked at the audience. The audience applauded and cheered: "Makes sense!"
Dong Qiang waved his hand: "What are you making a fuss about? Don't believe everything he says because he is uneducated. Even if Gao Lishi adopted a son from a side branch, his surname is not Gao. His original surname is Feng! Gao Lishi was given the name by the emperor!"
"The surname was bestowed by the Emperor. Would he dare to let his adopted son have the surname Feng?"
Dongqiang was speechless.
Here, Dongqiang uses serious knowledge to refute Qilong, and Qilong uses fallacies to confront Dongqiang, leaving him speechless, creating a joke.
Seeing that Dong Qiang had nothing to say, Qi Long was very proud and continued to say that dynasties had changed, but this branch of their family had not declined, and in the Song Dynasty, they were still high-ranking officials.
Who is it? Gao Qiu!
"He won the emperor's favor with his football skills and continued his family's wealth. At that time, the capital was in Henan Province, an inland city. All their food had to be caught from the ocean. They caught sea cucumbers and sent them over every day. It was from their second ancestor, Gao Qiu, that the rules of the football industry were passed down. You have to eat sea cucumbers when playing football!"
The audience laughed again. When they heard about Gao Qiu, the famous Cuju player, they knew that the men's football team would be mentioned. They didn't expect it to happen so soon.
"Oh, men's football team eats sea cucumbers. Is this a rule passed down from our second ancestor Gao Qiu?"
"That is!"
"Then our second ancestor is good at eating sea cucumbers and playing football, so why can't the men's football team do the same?"
Qi Long was speechless: "Look, all you know is to say that men's football is not good. These are the rules left by the ancestors of football. You don't know the rules of your second ancestor, and you don't know how to learn them well!"
"Please tell me something!"
"Think about it, what was the situation during the Gao Qiu period of the Song Dynasty? There were internal and external troubles. There were civilians in various places who rose up and became bandits. Song Jiang in Shandong Province, Wang Qing in Huaixi, Fang La in Jiangnan, and Tian Hu in Hebei Province fought bloody battles with the Liao Dynasty in the north since the founding of the country. The Western Xia repeatedly invaded the border, and the Jurchens in the far north were gradually rising. Even a small country like Goryeo ignored the Song Dynasty!"
"and then?"
"Even if we can't win the war, we have to have a way to show our pride, right? In football, our Song Dynasty is number one! Since then, your second ancestor has established a rule!"
"how to say?"
"If you can't win on the battlefield, you have to win in football. You have to keep the last bit of dignity. If you can win on the battlefield, you don't have to win in football. You have to keep the dignity for others. Do you understand?"
"So if the country becomes stronger, the football players will lose?"
"Or you say that the Free Country is not good at playing football? Is that right? Our ancestors have said that it is a flaw in the ointment!"
The ancestor of the Gao family in the Song Dynasty has finished talking about the Yuan Dynasty, which was relatively short and was ruled by a foreign race. Their family chose to lie dormant, and then rose again in the Ming Dynasty.
"But your Ming Dynasty ancestor is not as famous as the first two, and he also made some mistakes."
"Who is it? Let me hear it!"
"Surname Gao!"
"Nonsense, what's your name?"
"A single name with the word 'De'?"
"Gao De?" After Dong Qiang said these two names, the audience started laughing.
Speaking of this Gao De, he didn't know the way, and when he was leading his troops to fight, he agreed to make a detour to outflank the enemy, but he ended up leading his troops into a lake, and they were always lost. Whenever a battle came, they couldn't find their way. People nicknamed him Little Li Guang because he would get lost whenever he went on an expedition!
Anyone with a discerning eye can tell that this is a complaint about the navigation function of Amap.
His ancestor was also repeatedly demoted, and finally became a small soldier from a general, and was arranged to recover the islands of China together with Zheng Chenggong.
Among the natives there was a man named Beichen. When he heard that the pioneer from the Ming Dynasty was Gao De, he immediately burst into laughter and spoke boldly.
"What did he say?"
"Come on, you Ming Dynasty officials. Any general, come and fight me in a duel. I'll beat you to death. Humph, Gao De? He won't know where to go when he comes!"
"and after!"
"Later, they successfully recovered it. General Beichen changed his name to General Chen. He lost the north, and he really couldn't find the north."
During the Qing Dynasty, their family was also quite good. One of them was a close minister to the emperor and was responsible for the tasting of red crown red.
"A one-time official?"
"You can tell me whether it is powerful or not. But later on, your family became increasingly disappointed with the Qing Dynasty, so they gave up their official positions and went into business. They fled to Shanxi Province and became the leader of the Shanxi merchants. The Gao Family Courtyard belongs to them!"
"Wait a moment, the Gao family compound is in Chang'an!"
"Yes, that's your family's tracing of their roots. Have you forgotten who your first ancestor was?"
"Gao Lishi!"
"Which dynasty are you from?"
"Where will the capital be?"
"Chang'an!"
Qi Long clenched his fist and waved: "Is it right?"
The above are just prefaces. The main point is that by his father's generation, the family was still rich, extremely rich!
(End of this chapter)
