Chapter 250: New Dishes
The crosstalk entered the second stage and began to complain about other restaurants.
In an island country, there are few things and they are raw, but they are sold at a high price. You spend a lot of money but still can't get enough to eat.
A South Korean food restaurant, wow, they said it was their state banquet set meal, but it came with a bunch of kimchi.
"I feel like the condiment tables in our Sichuan hotpot restaurants are not as rich as these ones. They still say this is theirs and that is theirs every day!"
"They're just like that!"
"I went to that restaurant to eat, and they were still shouting that the Great Wall was built by our ancestors!"
"Hey, that's nonsense!"
"Hey, that's right, our ancestors arrested their ancestors and built it!"
"If you say so, that's fine!"
"If you ask me, there is only one thing that you have in South Korea that we don't have!"
"what?"
"Fungus! Have you ever played Red Alert? Choose South Korea, the free country soldiers who came out of the barracks!"
The audience burst into laughter.
The country of Bear in the North is a bitter and cold place where many crops don't grow, so they eat more meat, and the main dish is the same: potatoes.
I wanted to order a few dishes, wow: fried shredded potatoes, dry-roasted potato chips, stewed potato cubes, creamy mashed potatoes, and finally there was a plate of dumplings, but when I looked, they were dumplings stuffed with potatoes.
"Ah? Dumplings also have potato filling?"
"Potato filling is considered normal, they also have blueberry and strawberry fillings!"
Italy, the country that argues with China over who is the orthodox noodle eater, go eat at their restaurant.
"I'm not used to it. Their restaurant is such a rip-off, it's like a school cafeteria!"
"what happened?"
"Tomato and egg noodles without eggs, who can stand this?"
Dongqiang stopped him: "It's just tomato pasta!"
"Oh, no eggs?"
The restaurants in the Free Country are the most delicious for him. Why? The smoked barbecue takes more than ten to twenty hours to cook. People are starving, so how can it not be delicious?
The British restaurant, I walked in and left immediately. There were too few dishes. The menu of Shaxian snacks was more than theirs.
Frank Restaurant is delicious, but there are too many dining etiquettes. A meal takes four or five hours, and I don’t like the layout of the restaurant.
"why?"
"The restaurant is full of Frankish military flags, all pure white. The dining tables are all covered with their flags!"
"White flag?"
"When you ask the waiter to raise one hand, sometimes he can't see it, so you have to raise both hands at the same time!"
The jokes about daily breast milk methods also made everyone laugh.
Another thing worth mentioning is Indian cuisine. There are all kinds of pastes with strange colors. The green ones are dark cuisine enough, and the yellow ones are so disgusting just by looking at them.
The waiter repeatedly told me that it was clean and hygienic before he took a bite.
Well, it’s clean and hygienic, but a bit smelly!
After talking about food from various countries, Qi Long felt that he had almost finished talking about it. He said that although he had eaten a lot of food that he didn't really like, he was ready to name a new dish.
Dongqiang was surprised: "Then all the hard work has not been in vain, please give me a piece."
Qi Long began to demonstrate his real work: [I will treat you to fried scallops with foie gras sauce, French escargots with white wine, German-Italian spare ribs, beef tongue braised in red wine, and Mexican beef ribs]
Here comes the start of a pile of food from various countries.
When Qi Long speaks too slowly, Dong Qiang would add: Not a small amount!
When Qi Long was almost there, he stood quietly and listened.
The most difficult part of the traditional "Menu of the Dishes" is the meatball part, which has many meatballs in a row: [red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs]
There have to be thirteen kinds of meatballs in a row, and the requirements are fast speed and clear pronunciation.
In this Western version of the menu, Qi Long also used this paragraph to talk about various Western soups.
【There are borscht, mushroom soup, cream soup, beef brisket soup, tomato soup, Tom Yum Goong soup, and French soup.】
After talking about soup, it was time to talk about seared sirloin, rib-eye, fillet, and other meat steaks.
I mentioned more than 60 dishes in total. I was in a hurry to finish, so I slowed down and finished talking about the last two dishes: [Crispy Pork and Beef Wellington!]
The audience applauded and cheered loudly, this is kung fu. At the beginning, everyone was looking forward to "New Dishes", but they didn't expect it to be brand new, all foreign dishes!
"That's really great!" Dongqiang came up to praise.
Qi Long waved his hand: "But there is one dish I didn't mention. I'm planning to treat you to this dish alone!"
"Brother, what's the dish?"
"Korean style swill pot, pick up moldy and discarded luncheon meat, cook it with all kinds of kimchi, hey, it's just right to feed you!"
"I'll go to you!"
The two brothers took a step back and finished their second performance of the fourth program of the special.
Later, Zhang Helun and his friends performed a fighting program with well-controlled duration, and Qi Long and Dong Qiang performed a traditional leg work "Fenhe Bay". The last time they performed this was at the first Fighting Comedy Club last year. It just so happened that a special show could not only have new programs, there should be a traditional work, so the two of them performed a segment.
In this special show, both the leading and supporting actors performed very well, and the audience was very satisfied. They once again shouted on the Internet that their special show was not only worth the price of the ticket, but also great value for money!
As the special performance was about to end, Qi Long wanted to treat Qin Xiaoxian to a good meal on the grounds that Qin Xiaoxian's birthday was coming soon, and they went straight to a three-star Michelin restaurant: Xinrongji!
A fish can be sold in a restaurant for 1,800 yuan.
When Qin Xiaoxian heard that they were going here, he was shocked and called out to his master, "Uncle Master, this is too expensive. Let's just eat something else."
"It's okay. It's your birthday, so why not have something nice to eat? I've already made reservations. Let's go!"
The group arrived at the luxurious restaurant and sat at the table in the lobby. Before the waiter came over, Dongqiang stood up and said, "I'm going to the bathroom. My stomach feels uncomfortable!"
When I left, I gave Qi Long a smile that I understood.
As Qi Long's partner, he knew that Qi Long was going to do something bad as soon as he saw Qi Long's expression.
Obviously, Qi Long was cheated by Qin Xiaoxian last time and was forced to fish in the sea for his birthday, which made him bear a grudge, so this time he was looking for an opportunity to get revenge.
Dong Qiang even knew how Qi Long would retaliate, so he ran away to avoid embarrassment.
Qi Long ignored Gao Dongqiang and looked at the waiter: "There is no minimum consumption in the lobby, right?"
Minimum consumption means the minimum consumption. The private rooms in these luxury hotels usually require a certain amount of money before you can dine inside. Some have it in the lobby, but some don’t!
"Yes!" The waiter nodded, holding the order machine.
Qi Long smiled and said, "Then I'm relieved. Give us one of these twenty-two-dollar roasted sweet potatoes, and we'll share it among the eight of us!"
Except for Dongqiang who left, everyone else's expressions changed.
The waiter smiled and nodded: "Excuse me, is there any more?"
"No, that's all!"
The fellow disciples next to him were already blushing and lowering their heads.
It's so embarrassing. Eight people came to the restaurant to eat and ordered a baked sweet potato.
"Okay, no problem!" The three-star Michelin service staff also had requirements and did not show any disgust because Qi Long only ordered one dish.
As the waiter left, Qi Long looked at Qin Xiaoxian with a smile: "Xiaoxian, I have to give you an unforgettable birthday, one that's more memorable than mine!"
"Hahahaha, uncle-master, if you want to trick him, don't take us with you," Zhang Helun said with a smile.
Qin Xiaoxian also covered his face: "Uncle, I was wrong, let's order two more dishes!"
Qi Long raised his hand, and the waiter came over: "Is this appetizer free?"
"Correct!"
"Can I add more?"
"Uh, sure!"
"Then give us some more side dishes, Qin Xiaoxian, that's enough, don't eat so much!"
"Hahahahahaha" Everyone tried to hold back their laughter and Qin Xiaoxian was extremely embarrassed.
In addition to the free side dishes and roasted sweet potatoes, Qi Long also forced Qin Xiaoxian to call the waiter to get free water. When everyone finished eating the sweet potatoes, their faces were red, and Qi Long called the waiter again: "I'm going to order something real this time."
Just when everyone was relieved, Qi Long pointed at Qin Xiaoxian and said, "Waiter, I have good news for you. Today is his birthday. Look..."
"I'll give you a bowl of longevity noodles!"
"Thank you!"
"Hahahahahahaha!" Everyone couldn't hold it in any longer. The uncle-master was too good at having fun. He came to a high-end restaurant and ordered a dish, but he had to ask people to add a bunch of food to it.
After all the parts were finished, Dongqiang came back: "Is the ceremony over? Now I can order food seriously, hahahaha!"
"It's over, it's over. If you keep playing this, Qin Xiao's string will break!" Qi Long said with a smile.
Qin Xiaoxian smiled bitterly and shook his head: "Wow, Uncle Master, you are still good at having fun! This is much more embarrassing than having a group of waiters sing around you. It's so embarrassing!"
"I still say that, if you are afraid of losing face, why would you become a crosstalk artist!"
Tomorrow, June , is the author's birthday. My family is going to arrange dinner after work. I will try to come back early. If, I mean if, if I don't come back, I will owe you two more chapters.
(End of this chapter)
