Chapter 249 Qi Long tells you about the style of high-end western restaurants
After Qi Long and Dong Qiang finished their performances, it was Guo Qilin and Yan Hexiang's turn. The two brothers sang a twisted version of "Taiping Lyrics".
The funny man says that he knows a line of lyrics from Taiping that only he knows, but the supporting actor doesn't believe it and asks the funny man to sing it.
Sing a section for the supporting role, then a section for the funny role, and finally make up the funny role on the spot.
[When I went out shopping and met an old lady, someone teased her and said you are a good girl.]
Yan Hexiang was rummaging around and attacking: "Is this gangster your father?"
[The old lady said you are really bad, the gangster said I am loved by everyone]
"It's definitely your father!"
[Some people say that I did something bad by not going to school, but in fact it was my homeroom teacher who got me pregnant]
"That's your dad going to the parent-teacher conference!"
Guo Qilin’s reaction was also interesting. At first he just said calmly, “Don’t mention my father,” but later his reaction became more and more intense.
Regarding the class teacher's pregnancy, Guo Qilin said: "If you continue to make rumors about my father, I'm telling you that I won't perform crosstalk with you anymore. I'm going to change my career!"
Yan Hexiang's soul asked: "Do you have such an outstanding father in other industries?"
The performance ended when Yan Hexiang asked Guo Qilin to sing the song again without any changes. Naturally, he made mistakes after singing two sentences, and then ended the performance.
After them, it was Qi Long and Dong Qiang’s second program. Originally, the program list was a job for learning opera.
But if you sing two weird songs in a row, it will be boring.
Qi Long has always been very responsible for his own performances and he would check out the work of all the supporting actors. Guo Qilin and Yan Hexiang were originally going to perform "Entrusting Wife and Son".
Qi Long was annoyed that they had used these two tricks too many times in commercial performances, so he asked them to change to "Wrong Song of Taiping Lyrics".
With this change, Qi Long, who had been singing for two consecutive jobs, changed the program to "New Dishes", which added new content based on the simple job.
"Just now, there were two young crosstalk performers, Guo Qilin and Yan Hexiang. Especially Guo Qilin, he is our young master!"
"Correct!"
Qi Long opened his mouth and said: "Mr. Guo Degang is his father, and Yu Qian is his biological father!"
After the audience's laughter died down, Dong Qiang added, "Does everyone know?"
"Master."
"Hey, I thought you were going to reveal a well-known secret!"
"As the old saying goes, a master is half a son. You, Yu Qian, are half a son to Guo Qilin."
"What a mess, a son-in-law is half a son!"
"A master is half a father, right?"
"There's no such saying, but Master is also considered a father!"
"Yes, so Guo Qilin, who is in the entertainment and rock circles where Teacher Yu Qian hangs out, has excellent fathers!"
"Oh, from his master!"
Guo Qilin then continued by saying that his father also said the same thing in other industries, and that it was quite common for crosstalk actors to act in dramas, and then he spoke proudly.
"Including me, Qi Long. Hey, I also filmed a movie recently and made a guest appearance in "Good Chef". My wonderful performance can be seen in the promotional short video!"
It is the TV series starring Sun Honglei in which Qi Long made a guest appearance some time ago. There is still some time before it is broadcast, but the crew established an official platform in advance after they participated in "Let's Run" and released the shooting highlights in it. The part in which Qi Long made a guest appearance is the most popular short video.
The blind date performed clappers and made the whole audience laugh.
Talking about this topic, we came to talk about a high-end Western restaurant that the crew arranged during the filming.
"I can't tell you the content of the play, but I can say that their crew built a super luxurious western restaurant for the filming. I have never been to such a good restaurant in my life, and you haven't seen the things inside!" Qi Long boasted to Dong Qiang.
"What are they?"
Qi Long raised his finger and said, "You'll be scared to death if I tell you this. There's a table inside!"
Dongqiang, who was looking forward to it, suddenly changed his expression: "What's so special about the table?"
"It's not the ordinary table we usually use!"
"That's it!" Dongqiang became interested again.
"A wooden table!" Qi Long said in shock.
"Wooden tables are also very common! What's so special about them?"
"That table is huge, and the wood used is not ordinary!"
"Oh? What kind of wood?" Dongqiang was curious again.
"Coffin!"
"Coffin? No, that thing is so unlucky!"
"No, it's the best kind of wood for making coffins, sandalwood. Usually, people of noble status use it to put their coffins when they die. It's the best coffin material, and people use it to make dining tables!"
“Oh, this is really expensive!”
"And there's a new tablecloth on the table, and candles for the candlelight dinner!" "Yes, yes, yes!"
"The waiters are also very nice. Serving tea and water is just a piece of cake. If you meet a great customer, they will even send flowers to you."
"And send flowers?"
"Yes, on your birthday, they have birthday flowers; on your teacher's farewell party, they have flowers for your teachers; on your wedding anniversary, they have flowers of love."
Dong Qiang nodded: "Then this restaurant is really good."
"Right, I went to the set, and the director boasted to me that the staff there were all trained waiters with great service attitudes. They could handle any emergency situations, so I went in and improvised. Their attitudes were indeed great!"
"How to say?"
"When I looked at it, it was sandalwood. I guess I couldn't lie down in it if I were dead. So I'll lie down on it while I'm alive to experience it. You can't chase me away because of your good service attitude, right?" Qi Long said proudly.
Dong Qiang: "We have to hurry up, why are you lying on the dining table?"
"Look, you don't have the style of a hotel. Not only did the waiter not let me go down, but he was afraid that I would catch a cold, so he covered me with the white tablecloth. Next to me, there were lit candles, flowers sent by the hotel, and a group of waiters bowed to me."
The more he talked, the merrier the audience became. Dong Qiang stopped him and said, "Did you enter the hotel? You entered the mourning hall!"
"Why are you going into the funeral hall? It's just a restaurant. The service in the restaurant is good. When a customer comes in, a group of staff will greet him. After greeting, there are only three waiters left. They will take your tableware and wash it for you on the spot."
Qi Long said this and began his performance, pouring tea into a cup and onto the floor.
Dong Qiang stopped him: "This is still a memorial service!"
"I felt scared too, so I came down. Then I looked around and saw that there was a small stage in the middle of the restaurant with a grand piano and a pianist performing!"
“That’s true, many Western restaurants have it!”
"The pianist is playing this soothing music~" Qi Long began to hum the joyful background music when the German Opera performers took turns to go on stage for the opening and closing performances.
Dong Qiang: "A pianist in a western restaurant? Playing the crosstalk actor's entrance song?"
"Yes, while I was playing, two more people came up. The one on the left, I know the lyrics of Tai Ping, no one else in the universe knows it. The one on the right: Just play it!"
"Wait a moment, the western restaurant is performing a show, Guo Qilin and Yan Hexiang are going to sing the lyrics of Taiping?"
The show that just ended was still fresh in everyone’s memory and they immediately burst into laughter.
Qi Long argued that Western restaurants need to undergo localized changes when opening in China. You see, Grandpa Ken's and Uncle Mac have flavors that are only available in China and that foreigners don't have. This high-end Western restaurant not only has foreign performances, but also domestic performances.
"Of course, this crosstalk performer has requirements, and Deyun Society doesn't want crosstalk performers!"
"Why not?"
"They are all lowbrow, how can the diners eat? And your crosstalk is so funny, what if people burst out laughing? So we have to find someone who tells crosstalk that is not funny!"
"Who is it?"
"Formula crosstalk couple!"
That kind of talent show is recorded and broadcast at the same time, so this formula crosstalk has already appeared. It has been very popular recently and the audience burst into laughter.
“This is really unfunny, but I don’t want to hear it!”
"You don't want to listen to people who not only perform crosstalk, but also other programs and music. You haven't seen the instrument they use. It's called a monochord harp!"
"A single-string harp? I've definitely never seen that before!"
"There is a piece of wood on your back with a string at the bottom. If you use a small hammer to hit the string, it will produce beautiful music. You can sing while you hit it. I will teach you how to do it!"
Qi Long cleared his throat, used his fan as a hammer, knocked on the table, and then began to sing:
[Puffing cotton, puffing cotton. Half a pound of cotton is puffed into eighty-eight ounces. The old cotton is puffed into new cotton, and then into a quilt. The girl is getting married, ya hoo hey]
The audience reacted and realized that the monostring harp is the tool used to plucking cotton?
Dongqiang also quickly interrupted him: "Is this performance in the western restaurant down to earth? Even the cotton fluffers are here?"
"There is a saying that goes, 'What is national is also global! '" Qi Long's righteous words raised the value of things, which made the audience applaud.
The next joke was Qi Long ordering food. He didn't know English and wanted to show off by not changing to the Chinese menu. He ended up pointing at the address and asking for this dish, which made him look ridiculous. He then asked to change to this dish, but it turned out to be the wifi password.
After switching to the Chinese menu, Qi Long came up with an idea.
"You all always say that my crosstalk is innovative, but it's not easy to innovate. Today, when I saw their Western restaurant menu, I came up with an idea. Let's change the name of the dish to Western food. Isn't this innovation? I immediately decided to copy down the menu and name the Western food. The first dish stunned me!"
"What dish?"
"Camembert steak with roasted potatoes and grilled carrots with a sauce made by Leonardo da Vinci, improved by Raphael, developed by Michelangelo, and finally made by Donatello"
Dong Qiang was shocked: "What the hell? Why do I seem to hear four artists from the Renaissance?"
"Those are four Ninja Turtles. Four Ninja Turtles with this name. The artist copied their name!"
On the contrary, Tiangang's words caused the audience to burst into laughter.
Dongqiang said a few words to him, then went on to talk about the dish: "Is the name of a dish so long?"
"Yes, how can I name the dishes? I'll treat you: Camembert said two dishes would make a person full. No, no, the restaurant used for filming this drama is the most high-end, and the names of the dishes are too long. I have to go to another Western restaurant to find some inspiration."
(End of this chapter)
