Chapter 278: A Little Argument
The so-called social credit score was already bizarre enough, but what made Qi Long and Dong Qiang feel a little absurd was that the two brothers first visited Shanghai, then the Great Wall and the Forbidden City in Beijing, as well as some modern shopping malls such as Sanlitun and Wukesong.
They heard from an Indian netizen that there was an alley in the capital of China where the houses were very short and it should be a slum, so they asked the two of them to go and investigate.
So the two of them came to explore the "slums", and especially asked Qi Long and Dong Qiang if this was a slum.
The two children, Xiaoyu and Xiaoxia, have no idea about housing prices, but any adult Chinese knows the value of the courtyards on the second ring road and the courtyard houses. Every inch of land is worth a lot of money.
Dong Qiang asked: "Do you think I have money?"
The foreign audience nodded: "Of course, you even drive your Porsche!"
"Oh, I can't afford a house here!" He was talking about him, not his family. His father still had the financial means, but there was no need.
"Ah?" Both foreigners were shocked!
Qi Long told them that this is China's protection of ancient buildings. They have high historical value and are in a good location, with the Forbidden City next to them. Renovation of these houses is not allowed, so they are what you see.
The people here are basically wealthy. Even if they are broke, they can sell their houses and buy many villas in other places!
The two foreigners didn't want to believe Qi Long and Dong Qiang's one-sided words, so they decided to go in and take a look. Then, they were stunned by the various luxury cars parked in the alley and were speechless.
Well, either the houses are short or they are slums. The people here may be talkative, but they are definitely not poor in money.
After saying goodbye to two foreign viewers who they met by chance and were watching their show, Qi Long and Dong Qiang took their two children to the alley and talked about their childhood.
"When I was a child, my master asked me to observe life. Dongqiang and I came to Didu Hutong and watched the old men chatting. I studied and figured out the characteristics of Didu dialect. Do you two want to learn it?" Qi Long said to the two children.
"Yes!" the two children agreed immediately.
"In the future, when you are on the crosstalk stage, you need to learn dialects. You have to learn the words of the imperial capital with erhua. In fact, the imperial capital dialect is not only erhua, but also likes to add seasonings. Say a sentence, smack your lips, click your tongue twice, and hey come on twice. In short, a sentence can be stretched out!"
Dongqiang asked him to give an example to the children.
"Hey, you two kids, tut tut, this is the place your uncle Dongqiang brought us to today. Hey, it's right here. Let me tell you, in the old days, it was this place, this place. You can't even guess it."
The two children were confused and didn't understand what Qi Long was saying because of his many erhua sounds and modal particles.
Dongqiang smiled and said to them, "You didn't understand, right? That's right. This is how I felt when your uncle Qi and I were squatting at the entrance of the alley."
There were just two old men, and they could spend more than ten or twenty minutes talking about interjections like hey, ha, hoo, eh, and click, but there was no useful content at all.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang, who were still children at the time, were completely confused.
They don't need to use specific places or names when chatting. They just say, "Where did I go with someone the other day?"
The people on the other end don’t care who it is and will continue with you: “It’s that guy, right? It’s that guy, tsk tsk, I know that kid, hey, that kid is this tall, right? I know, he is, ouch.”
We don’t know whether he knew it specifically or not, but Qi Long and Dong Qiang were confused after hearing it.
And now, the two of them talked about the nonsense literature of the old imperial capital alleys, allowing the two children to experience it as well.
Crosstalk is a kind of urban culture and comes from the urban life. You have to observe these days. The more detailed your observation, the more similar you will be on stage. When you tell the jokes, it will be like something happening around the audience and it is easy to make them laugh.
Therefore, we have to cultivate them to observe life more now!
When we arrived at the restaurant, it was already 1:30 in the afternoon and the time had passed.
In Shanxi Province, many small restaurants will close at this time because the culture of taking a nap is unshakable in the province.
Qi Long went to elementary school there. He clearly remembered that he had to go home to sleep at noon and had to get his parents' signature to allow him to do so.
So restaurants and the like were not open at all: "When you go to Jin Province for performances in the future, remember to eat on time, and don't contact the local organizers at noon, which will disturb their rest!" "Indeed, if you call people in Jin Province at 1 pm, they will generally be angry!"
Xiaoyu raised her head and asked Dongqiang in a silly way: "Can't I call Master at all?"
"I can. Master, you haven't even developed the habit of taking a nap yet, but you came to the capital to learn crosstalk!"
Xiao Xia said with emotion: "Wow, Uncle Qi and Uncle Gao know so much."
Qi Long told him that a crosstalk artist must know a lot, so you can either read books or observe life. In short, the more you know, the more you can make people laugh. Even if you play a fool, you must have something to play a funny fool, not a disgusting fool.
"Your uncle Dong Qiang does a great job on this. He is very knowledgeable and talented!"
"That's true!" Dong Qiang saw Qi Long making the move and knew that he was going to pass on a small job, so he immediately cooperated.
Qi Long smiled and said, "Sometimes I would ask him questions that I don't know. For example, I went to this water park yesterday and saw a creature about this big, with bulging eyes and a big belly. It was scary when it made a noise: quack quack!"
Before Dongqiang could say anything, the two kids answered first. Xiaoyu said, "Frog!"
"Bullfrog! I like the spiced ones!" The shrimp chose to eat.
Dong Qiang laughed: "Look, even children know about frogs!"
Qi Long continued: "Hey, how come this frog is so small, so why is it making such a loud noise?"
Dongqiang explained: "Look at his round belly, thick neck and big mouth, so his voice is naturally bright!"
"Oh, so the sound is loud like this? Then the trash can in our house has a round belly, a thick neck and an even bigger mouth, so it makes no sound!" Qi Long argued.
Two children are laughing together, how can the wastebasket make a sound?
Dong Qiang said disdainfully: "Look, the children are laughing at you. How could this happen to the wastebasket? It's made of bamboo. Can bamboo make sounds?"
"Bamboo can't make sounds? (Yes) How can bamboo flutes, which are so annoying, and wind instruments make sounds?"
"He has eyes, and eyes can speak."
"If you have eyes, you can make sounds. But the bamboo sieve we have at home, the kind we use to sift flour, doesn't make any sound."
"The sieve is flat and round, so it doesn't make any noise."
"The gongs on the stage are flat and round, why do they make the sound duangduangduang?"
These are Qi Long and Dong Qiang. Before the meal, they told the two children a little argument. It was not considered a job. In the past, when you performed crosstalk on the street to attract audiences, you could say this little argument. If one person says that this is not okay, the other person will argue to create laughter.
This argument can go on forever, even for ten minutes. There will always be something to say, so just make it up. As long as the audience is still laughing, just keep talking.
If the audience's reaction is lukewarm, the supporting actor can always say, "Why are you here to argue with me?" and end it.
It's the basics that need to be practiced.
Arguing is also a compulsory course for crosstalk actors. One way to deal with forgetting the lines on stage is to improvise an argument, so those who are good at arguing on the internet can be regarded as having mastered the basics of crosstalk!
(End of this chapter)
