Chapter 289 Hilarious: Introducing auction items without knowing it (two in one)
Cao Heyang is a talkative person and he particularly likes to use his brain in variety shows. He is a smart guy, but there are not many of him.
In this ten-point game, the comedy effect is maximized.
For three consecutive times, his analysis was very logical and he was almost able to come up with the correct answer, but in the end he gave a wrong answer and was successfully attacked by Qi Long.
He has become a trusted employee of the general manager, which is a nice way of putting it. To put it bluntly, he has become a slave. If the manager wants to attack the general manager, it is equivalent to attacking two people.
In this mini-game, you also need to defeat two people in a row before you can attack successfully. First, fight against the general manager's confidant.
This is the power of the general manager. Only after the trusted employees help to block an attack can they regain their freedom.
Cao Heyang smiled and said to Qi Long in a flattering manner: "Uncle General Manager, I lost on purpose so that I can become your confidant!"
"Oh, really?" Qi Long did not expose it and acted like a tyrant who liked to listen to slander.
"Of course. I think you should be the chairman, and all the shares of the shareholder surnamed Guo should be given to you, right? And what's the point of saying that this is the Degang era? Screw him, this is the Qilong era!" Cao Heyang shouted with his hands raised high.
Qi Long smiled and clapped his hands continuously: "Very good, you are very good at flattering!"
"I'm shooting a dragon's fart!"
"Hahahaha, what a crap word!" Qi Longxu kicked him.
"The shareholders don't want you to be the chairman. In my opinion, those shareholders are just looking up at the sky with their butts sticking out!"
Qi Long immediately responded: "What do you mean?"
"Sightless!"
Qi Long nodded repeatedly: "Yeah~"
"If they don't choose you, it would be like throwing the dumplings into the pot!" Cao Heyang continued to flatter.
"how to say?"
"What a bunch of bastards!"
"Hmm~~" Qi Long continued to nod.
"How amazing you are, you farted in your bed!"
"What do you mean?" Qi Long continued to cooperate.
"He is capable of both literature (wen) and martial arts (wu)!"
Qi Long didn't say "hmm" this time, but said to him: "Hey, what kind of witty remark is that? I think you are a rotten grape: full of bad water, a dung beetle yawning: a stinky mouth, you have no good intentions when you invite your sister-in-law to accompany you; you are holding a shotgun and practicing gun fighting."
Cao Heyang was stunned: "Hey, I haven't heard of this!"
"You're attacking me in a roundabout way!"
"Hahaha, uncle-master, this is awesome. You made it up right away, right?" Cao Heyang gave a thumbs up.
The flattery time is over, Qi Long and Cao Heyang began to analyze the gameplay of this variety show recording. They felt that the attack mode of this poker card was like the "Miss Card" in the drinking table game.
You have to execute whatever you draw.
As a member of Deyun's drunkard group, Cao Heyang often attends drinking parties and is very familiar with this drinking table game. He directly listed the rules of the game.
In this game, three means visiting three gardens, and seven means every seven passes. They are all small games, and the loser has to drink.
But there are also some special cards. For example, if you draw "two", you will become a bartender.
Then, no matter who is punished to drink or who wants to drink, you have to hold up the glass and say respectfully: "Drink, sir!"
Then drink it all together with others. It can be said that this is a card that no one wants to draw in this drinking game.
Therefore, Cao Heyang inferred that this variety show project adapted from a drinking game was also a card that would harm himself, so Qi Long should not use it easily.
There is also a relatively bad card, which is the Q. If you draw it in a circle, you have to make a circle and clink glasses with everyone present in turn.
Cao Heyang deduced that this card was not good either and should be avoided as much as possible.
Qi Long felt that Cao Heyang's analysis made a lot of sense and decided to sit back and wait and see what others did, especially Shaobing. As an employee, that guy would definitely look for the supervisor to attack no matter what cards he held.
Qi Long said: "After all, Shaobing is Bai Suzhen's husband?"
"Xu Xian?" Cao Heyang asked.
"Reckless man!"
"Hahahahahaha!" Cao Heyang discovered that his uncle master was omnipotent. Although he didn't have many witty words in his crosstalk, when he really talked about it, it was quite impressive!
The two men started to act. Cao Heyang had been turned into a confidant, and now no one could attack him. He directly acted as the vanguard to scout in the front. After making sure there was no danger, he called Qi Long to follow. The two men soon encountered Shaobing who was attacking the supervisor Yue Yunpeng.
Shaobing threw out a six, and then the game became the classic office game of office chair race. Both parties sat on office chairs with pulleys underneath and pushed the chairs with their legs. Yue Yunpeng started first for three seconds, and Shaobing started first. As long as Shaobing could catch up within one minute, his attack would be considered a success.
There is no suspense in this game.
Shaobing is full of tendon meat, which makes it difficult to chew; Yue Yunpeng's is full of fat, which melts in your mouth.
There is no comparison at all. Yue Yunpeng was eliminated almost as soon as the competition started. He was demoted from the position of supervisor to an ordinary employee.
Before Yue Yunpeng could recover, Qi Long showed off a four.
Then the four mini-games were announced, called "Tear Off the Labels on Your Body". Both of them had to stick a bunch of sticky notes on their bodies, and sway to the music without using their hands to shake the labels off. On the sticky notes, written were the "bad reviews" of them by the program staff!
The bad reviews about Yue Yunpeng include: he is not very active in recording, his physical condition is too poor, he always complains about everything, he always looks aggrieved as if everyone owes him money, etc.
The bad reviews about Qi Long were mainly due to his talkative behavior, which led to complaints from the later subtitle team.
There are also some reviews that seem to be bad but are actually good ones, such as the one that can remember each of our names so that we can’t slack off and are afraid of complaining to the director.
He even remembered our birthdays and sent cakes to the company when he was away from home, which increased our calorie intake.
"Bad reviews, bad reviews, why do you post only good things about him?" Yue Yunpeng looked at his own bad reviews and complained to the program team that it was unfair.
Cao Heyang quietly removed the label that said he always complained about everything, and Shaobing removed the label that he looked aggrieved as if everyone owed him money. They stood beside him and smiled at the camera together, saying, "No problem!"
The mini-game competition began. Yue Yunpeng, who was exhausted after a round of office chair chase, was naturally no match for Qi Long. Together with Cao Heyang, he became Qi Long's trusted employees.
In this way, Qi Long's safety was greatly increased, and he also cooperated with Shaobing.
Now Shaobing is the supervisor. Whenever the manager comes to attack him, he will lead the person to Shaobing and let Shaobing attack the manager. Perfect!
Today, I have secured the position of general manager, and no one can take it away!
After a period of pursuit, many card games were revealed, such as A, also known as the gun. In this game, both players hold a water gun, stand back to back, turn around and shoot. When the water gun hits the chest, the light on the body will light up. Whoever makes the opponent's light light up first wins.
It's like a cowboy showdown, quite exciting.
The second one is indeed as Cao Heyang guessed, it is a card that adds a DEbuff to yourself, turning you into a non-staff member of the program props team, carrying a basket of props, moving quickly in the venue, and delivering props to the players who triggered the mini-game.
When he is a prop worker, he is also in a state where he can be attacked.
The fifth is a dance duel, where you need to dance along with the dance moves on the screen, and then the staff on site will score you, and the one with the lowest score wins. Although these games are small, the participants still have a lot of fun playing them, because they don’t know what the game in the cards is, so there is a sense of uncertainty when playing the cards, which makes people never tired of it.
Qi Long was also attacked twice during this period. The person who attacked him was Zhu Hecong, who used a K.
The program crew brought four boxing gloves. Just when Qi Long and Zhu Hecong thought they were going to have a boxing match to see who could knock out the other first, it turned out that the competition involved wearing a pair of loose beach pants while wearing boxing gloves.
The two of them were speechless, but Qi Long has an assistant, so Zhu Hecong has to wear it three times if he wants to win.
After defeating Yue Yunpeng, he fell to Cao Heyang.
The second person who attacked him was Shaobing. After Qi Long seduced Guo Qilin and successfully attacked him, Shaobing turned against Qi Long and used a circle.
Then he drew a line on the ground to make a prison.
You have to stand still and remain motionless, otherwise you will drop the playing cards and be demoted, which will make Shaobing very uncomfortable.
Everyone played for the whole morning. Qi Long's identity did not change, but the identities of the others had more or less changed. When they entered the next round of the game, their playing cards were no longer attack props, but coins.
In the final stage, the partners and order of the next day's crosstalk performance will be determined based on the number of coins.
However, before the final stage, there is another blind auction.
The so-called blind auction game is that members start describing the products without knowing what is in the container in front. If they can get shareholders Guo Degang, Yu Qian and Shi Fukuan to produce playing cards to buy them, they will get the corresponding playing cards after the purchase is successful.
The members were divided into groups of two, and Qi Long organized them into groups.
Qi Long naturally assigned Gao Dongqiang, who had the best cooperation with him and became the supervisor, to the same group first.
As for the others, don't even think about being in the same group with this pair of partners.
Shaobing? You and Luan Yunping don't get along, right? You two are a team!
All the comedians want to beat Zhu Hecong to death, right? Especially Yue Yunpeng who wants to beat Zhu Hecong to death the most. You two should be a team.
In short, except for yourself, everyone else can do whatever they want.
The auction began, and the first to come on stage were Meng Hetang and Guo Qilin. They stood on the stage with a closed box in front of them. When they stood behind the box to make sure they could not see it, they opened the box and found a doll inside.
Shi Fukuan waved his hand and said, "Please introduce the products you are going to sell!"
Guo Qilin nodded: "Okay, Master, this thing of ours is very practical!"
"Yes, then you can use it every day!" Zhang Helun said while holding it.
Others in the audience can ask questions and talk, so Yue Yunpeng set a trap at this time: "When do you usually use it?"
Guo Qilin answered without hesitation: "Sleeping at night!"
"I'm different. I usually use it when I perform crosstalk on stage!" Zhang Helun said himself.
Everyone laughed. Well, Guo Qilin, how old are you? Do you still need to hug a doll when you sleep at night?
And it’s strange to think that Zhang Helun brought a doll to the crosstalk stage.
Gao Dongqiang smiled and asked, "Then how did he use it?"
Guo Qilin's words turned the scene from a happy and funny one into a terrifying one: "Usually, they are burned. Once they are burned, eh, I feel particularly at ease."
"Ouch." Zhu Hecong touched his arm, which was covered with goose bumps.
Burning dolls sounds scary.
The key point is that Guo Qilin seems like a pervert, and he says with a look of enjoyment that he feels particularly at peace.
The two people on the stage saw the reactions of the people in the audience, and naturally knew that the method Guo Qilin mentioned was different from the actual usage of this thing, and it was not used for burning.
Zhang Helun said: "It doesn't have to be burned before use. I usually apply it on my face like this."
“Oh, as a cotton pad!”
"Oh, right, right!" Zhang Helun nodded: "This thing is better than cotton pads. Its material is more comfortable. It feels very comfortable on the face. It does not hurt the skin and can be used by sensitive skin. Everyone, hurry up and buy it!"
In everyone's mind, an image of Zhang Helun holding a doll and applying skin care products on his face appeared.
Just two words: absurd!
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Guo Degang, Yu Qian and Shi Fukuan made bids respectively, and Yu Qian bought the doll for the price of four playing cards. Zhang Helun and Guo Qilin were surprised when they saw it was a doll, and immediately began to think about what they had just said, and then they did not know whether to laugh or cry.
Then it was Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang's turn. They also had no idea what was in front of them, but they were not panicked at all and even walked onto the stage while clapping.
"I'm selling goods. The things I sell are really good. Everyone here is a good customer today. If you want to buy goods, come to me. I guarantee that you will be happy!"
After a short allegro, Qi Long began to shout: "Selling goods!"
"Come and have a look. Don't miss it if you pass by. Buy early, buy late, buy early, buy late. Buy more, buy less, buy as much as you want!" Dongqiang shouted.
Shi Fukuan shook his head: "You two should stop shouting and introduce your products. Are they practical?"
Qi Long immediately said: "That's quite practical. This thing can be used by everyone of us, and everyone must use it!"
"Yes, I'm using it now!" Dongqiang nodded.
The two of them discussed it before going on stage, just like selling clothes, you have a general idea in your mind, so that what you say will be meaningful.
"So what changes do you think have come into your life after using this thing?" This time it was Luan Yunping who asked the question.
Qi Long said: "You can only go out if you have this thing. Otherwise you will be embarrassed when making friends with people. Especially when you go socializing, you must bring this with you!"
"Yes, otherwise they won't let you into those high-end social occasions!" Dong Qiang praised him with every word. In front of his master, he worked the hardest.
The audience began to obviously hold back their laughter.
Qi Long said that having this thing would make him more confident, otherwise he would be embarrassed every day.
Dongqiang said that with this thing, he would feel more comfortable when exercising, otherwise there would always be people watching him.
The two talked excitedly, and finally Guo Degang bought the product with 5 playing cards.
When they came forward and took a look, they were immediately surprised.
The good news is that it does have something to do with clothes, they are all close to the body. The bad news is that this thing is a diaper
"Hahahahahahahaha!" The audience started laughing and repeating what they had just said.
"You are not allowed to enter social occasions without a diaper."
"It's embarrassing not to wear diapers. It turns out that my uncle is incontinent."
"It's more fun to work out. Is it to pee while working out?"
"Hahahahahaha!"
(End of this chapter)
