Chapter 314: Crosstalk Show Caused by Fear of Wife
With Zhang Wanyi as a strong teammate, Qi Long felt a little overwhelmed. The two of them entered the ice house with four name tags. Through the dart-blasting game, they obtained three things to melt the ice: a small sun, a hair dryer and hot water. After melting a part of the ice.
When Qi Long went out again, he directly threatened to challenge Gao Dongqiang, and then...love, the legal stimulant, became ineffective.
When he met Dongqiang, Qi Long even shouted that he wanted to tell him: "Why are flowers so red? Why should children be obedient? I want to give you, Gao Dongqiang, a complete childhood."
These words successfully "angered" Gao Dongqiang, who pulled Qi Long, and Qi Long stumbled towards Dongqiang. Before his hand touched the other's name tag, his own name tag fell off.
Qi Long, who had lost his name tag, sat on the ground and sighed: "I reported him for taking stimulants for ten years!"
"What stimulants?"
“Protein powder!”
"Hahahahaha, I think you just took stimulants and your brain is out of control due to the excitement? How do you want to challenge me?" Dong Qiang said with a smile.
Qi Long sighed: "There's nothing I can do. I'm like a foreign player who swam in a swimming pool and turned into the same purple skin as Thanos. I was still crushed by the powerful Chinese players!"
"In the face of absolute strength, none of your efforts will work!"
On the other side, Zhang Wanyi defeated Meng Ziyi, and then she turned around and ran away.
Qi Long was arrogant, but she was not. She did not have the confidence to deal with Gao Dongqiang. However, when Zhang Wanyi was escaping, she met the insidious Qin Xiaoxian and Sun Jiuxiang. They attacked her by surprise, took off Zhang Wanyi's name tag and got Meng Ziyi's name tag.
After that, a big fight broke out on the field, with everyone fighting in pairs and forming alliances to fight each other.
Qi Long's group, Wang Jia'er's group, and Qin Xiaoxian's group took the initiative, and their ice melting speed ranked in the top three.
Although Gao Dongqiang is very strong, he is too strong. Except for Qi Long who is a bit arrogant, everyone who sees their group will just run away. They will chase them in the front, but they won’t have the idea to chase them suddenly in the back.
When other groups encountered this, they all wanted to confront it head-on, so the famous brands were produced.
Qi Long's team won today by relying on hard power. As long as Qi Long could hold on to the male team members, Zhang Wanyi could tear off the female team members, including Sun Jiuxiang, who had been torn off by her. It can be said that she is quite powerful.
The Gal group also has strong power. He and Chao Yue are both good at tearing off name tags. Although they failed once at Qi Long's hands, it was only that time. They have been very strong since then.
The Qin Xiaoxian team, two big men, were already strong, and under the leadership of the dirty Qin Xiaoxian, they kept hiding in ambush locations between the battlefield where others were fighting and the ice room, attacking the winner.
Therefore, the three groups won the most famous tags and the ice melted the fastest.
The ice cubes had become very small. After tearing off Sha Yi and Hu Ke, the Qilong team held their name tags and prepared to end the game.
Halfway through the journey, Qin Xiaoxian and Sun Jiuxiang attacked again. Qi Long and Zhang Wanyi dodged them and ran desperately. Sun Jiuxiang was already running out of energy and could not run much, and soon fell to the end of the team. Qin Xiaoxian continued to rush forward without noticing that his partner was failing.
Qi Long took the opportunity to turn around and fight two against one with Zhang Wanyi.
"Jiuxiang, brother Jiuxiang, uncle, I was wrong, I was wrong, aunt." Qin Xiaoxian contributed the last brand name while begging for mercy. With the help of his powerful fiancée, Qi Long won the final victory of this episode!
After it was over, everyone was still talking about the funny things that happened during the name tag tearing activity.
The most interesting thing is that Hu Ke said to Sha Yi: "You will be torn apart anyway, so I will tear you apart and see if I can exchange you."
Then five seconds into the show, Sha Yi's name tag was taken off.
Of course, it cannot be exchanged, otherwise everyone will tear each other’s teammates apart to clear the ice!
“Hahahaha, so Brother Sha, you were eliminated in five seconds?”
"What can I do? If you guys want to tear me apart, I can still resist. But if Hu Ke wants to tear me apart, I can't even resist!"
"Hahahaha"
Sha Yi's fear of his wife reminded Qi Long of a classic crosstalk piece: "Between Husband and Wife"!
When he returned, he wanted to add something new to this job and then have this segment with Dongqiang.
Time flies, and it is the September Wire Festival again. It is still a seven-day consecutive performance by the Deyun Society, including various categories.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang each participated in two performances last year. Qi Long also guest-starred as the host of the drum music venue. This year, they have more work to do and the two of them will perform on three of the days.
On the first day of the crosstalk opening, Qi Long and Dong Qiang will perform a show.
On the third day, there will be a mix and match special, with Qi Long and Yu Qian, Gao Dongqiang and Gao Feng performing a mix and match performance.
The last day of the Gangsi Festival closed with the two of them again.
After all, the two are now popular actors in Deyun Club, so they are indispensable for such a grand performance celebration of Deyun Club. On the first day, the two of them came to the show that Qi Long thought of: "Between Husband and Wife"!
The two of them are the finale, the second to last show, so they need to control the time to leave enough performance time for Guo Degang and Yu Qian who are the last to perform.
In the past, this position was held by Gao Feng and Luan Yunping. Because the previous actors' programs seriously exceeded the time limit, they had to perform "Praising the House" for seven minutes and "Guessing Riddles" for five minutes.
In order to leave time for the last two pairs today, Zhang Helun, who was in front of Qi Long and Dong Qiang, performed a double act lasting more than ten minutes, which also gave Qi Long and Dong Qiang, who had originally planned to sacrifice their time for warm-up talks, plenty of time again.
After saying "Thank you for your hard work" to Zhang Helun who was leaving the stage, the two brothers went on stage after being introduced by the host.
"Come on stage and introduce yourself briefly. I'm Qi Long, and this is my partner Gao Dongqiang. The two of us will continue the performance of the previous crosstalk performer. What we just performed was a double act!"
"Correct!"
"One person performs in the front, and another person talks or sings in the back. The person in the front has to match his or her mouth shape to the words of the person behind. This is a kind of folk art!"
"That's right!"
"Our crosstalk is a folk art. We learn from copying this and that. We learned fortune-telling from others and had the crosstalk "The Great Face Reader". We learned cloth-selling from others and had the crosstalk "Selling Cloth". We learned storytelling from others and had the stand-up crosstalk "Eight Cudgels".
“It all comes from life!”
"Right, so the most important thing for us crosstalk performers is to observe life. Teacher Dongqiang next to me does this very well."
Hearing Qi Long's tone rising as if he was going to perform him, Dong Qiang smoothed his gown and said, "Okay?"
"generally!"
"Ah?" Dong Qiang was confused.
"He doesn't really observe life. As soon as he gets off the stage, he goes to the gym (speaks vaguely). He runs every day, every day."
Dong Qiang stopped him and said, "Teacher Qi, please tell me clearly, where should I run to?"
"Cleansing room," Qi Long said while slurring his mouth.
"where?"
"Cleansing room!" This time it was made clear.
Dong Qiang raised his voice: "A cleansing room? You don't have to go there every day, just once is enough!"
A deliberately wrong joke successfully made the audience laugh, and the opening joke was a blast!
"What is that?" Qi Long asked.
"Gym!"
"Oh, yes, the gym. He works out every day, and then goes home after working out. He doesn't observe life!"
"You observe?"
"I observe every day. For example, if I want to play a food delivery guy in our crosstalk, I have to observe the food delivery guy!" Dongqiang asked: "How do I observe? Run behind the food delivery truck?"
"That won't work. You can't run away. Is there a simple way? Watch TV. Hey, think about it. When TV directors and screenwriters want to film the delivery guy, they must observe him. Can't I just observe him from what they observe? As soon as I saw it, my defense was broken."
At the end, Qi Long's voice choked with sobs.
"How come this defense is broken?"
Qi Long wiped his eyes with his sleeve: "That delivery guy delivers five orders a day."
"Oh, five orders, huh? Just five orders? Wouldn't we starve to death?"
Qi Long sobbed: "Yes, after delivering five orders, he can go home from get off work, live in an apartment with a view of the Oriental Pearl Tower, enjoy dinner, and then go upstairs and lie on the bed. Good night!"
"Wow, you live in a duplex apartment with a view of the Oriental Pearl Tower?"
"How can I not cry? It turns out that delivering food is so easy and you can earn money and live in a big apartment. What kind of crosstalk am I talking about? Wuwuwu!"
The audience was already bursting into laughter. In this passage, Qi Long was obviously satirizing the current screenwriters of film and television dramas who write scripts without any research at all.
It's too fake. How can a delivery boy be so idle? After filming, the director was moved to tears by the story.
"You've been deceived. That TV series was written without any observation of real life!" Dong Qiang advised.
Qi Long: "Is it nonsense? That's it."
"How come it's over?"
"I just learned how to play a bad guy based on my observations of TV dramas."
"How to act?"
"poor"
"what?"
"I've watched several TV shows, and the poor are all bad guys, and the rich are all good guys. The poor are either vampires, pestering the male and female protagonists who work in the city for money, or they are uncultured trash, trying to frame others to climb up. There is always a poor but good student, and he has to be so self-deprecating that the audience finds him annoying."
"Isn't this nonsense? What do you mean by poor people are bad people? That's nonsense! How many people are poor but not poor in spirit? How many people are poor but still strong and never give up their ambitions? You can't be influenced by those stereotypes on TV!"
Dongqiang's positive and valuable behavior drew cheers and applause.
This is great, and it was also made to express Qi Long's and others' complaints about the chaos in film and television dramas.
Qi Long spread his hands: "I told you, many people are poor not because of low quality, but because of too high quality!"
"Huh? Where does this idea come from?" Dongqiang wondered.
Qi Long: "Haven't you heard of this saying? All money-making projects are covered by the law. People like us who abide by the law can't make a lot of money, but people like Dongqiang's father who go against their conscience can become big bosses."
In a word, pull down the values from above and remind everyone that this is a crosstalk stage and all that matters is that everyone has fun!
"My father didn't break the law," Dongqiang quickly pushed him away.
"Just kidding. That's why you can't observe life through movies and TV shows. You have to observe it yourself. Didn't I just say that I want to play a villain on the crosstalk stage? I found that TV is unreliable, so I went to observe in real life, but here comes the problem."
"what is the problem?"
"Where are the bad guys?" Qi Long pretended to be searching and observing on the street, then waved his hand: "Hey, big brother, are you a bad guy?"
"Catch someone and ask them?"
"Brother, you're not a bad person when you open your mouth. You still care about me?"
"Why do you care?"
Qi Long put on an impatient look, frowned and said: "Are you sick (action resumes)? Look how much you care about me and my health!"
The audience laughed. What the hell, “Are you sick?” Does that mean others care about your health?
"I said I'm not sick, thank you."
"This guy can't understand good or bad words, but he still observes life!" Dongqiang complained.
Qi Long continued: "Where are the bad guys? Eh!"
"Got an idea?"
"Isn't it said that a girl walking alone at night is more likely to run into bad guys? I waited until night, and found the girl walking alone at night. I followed her, waiting for the bad guy to appear. I followed the girl and she started running. When I saw her running, I ran after her. She ran in front and I ran behind until she ran into the apartment building and closed the door. Then I wondered: The bad guy didn't come, why was he running?"
When Qi Long said that he would follow the girl at night, everyone started laughing. The more they talked, the louder they laughed. At the end, when Qi Long himself asked in confusion where the bad guys were, their laughter reached its peak.
Dong Qiang: "Hey, that's treating you as a bad guy!"
"Wait a minute, mighty mighty (onomatopoeia), oh, the police car is here to catch the bad guys, now I can definitely learn what a bad guy looks like, I quickly ran over, and the policeman grabbed me, I feel innocent, policeman, you can't arrest me, you have to catch the bad guys!"
"I'm arresting you!" Dongqiang pointed at him.
Qi Long nodded: "That's what the police said. What do you want to do by following a girl in the middle of the night? Tell the truth! I quickly said that I was a crosstalk actor and I came to observe life. The police were amused when they heard it, and they gave me..."
"Let go?"
"Locked in the car, a crosstalk artist? That's absolutely right, crosstalk artists are not good people!"
After the little incident, Qi Long said that he received criticism and education at the police station, and was told that you can observe life, but you cannot affect others. You can sit there and watch quietly, but you cannot follow people casually or take photos randomly, as it will violate the right to portrait.
In short, Qi Long learned it and started sitting on the side of the road observing life and looking at all kinds of people. He found that in the commercial district, there were relatively more couples shopping, and he could tell the relationship between couples and what stage of love they were in through different things.
"Please tell me more details!"
"For example, a man and a woman are walking hand in hand, and the woman is wearing very scantily clad clothes, with her belly button and back exposed, and her lower body wearing shorts and a short skirt. They must have just started a relationship!"
Dong Qiang asked: "Why do you say that?"
"Look, you don't understand because you've never been in a relationship. Men understand men. If his girlfriend wears cooler clothes, she will definitely attract a lot of perverts' attention. It won't be comfortable for him to squat in that row and all the men will be looking at his girlfriend. We must tell him to wear more!" Qi Long said.
Dong Qiang: "It's okay, that row of crosstalk actors are just observing life!"
Dongqiang's impromptu jokes made the audience burst into laughter.
"Listen to me, is my research result good?"
"You continue!"
"She can wear such cool clothes, not to mention the man, but she just started dating and she's not at the stage where she can control herself."
Dongqiang nodded in confusion: "Oh, what about the clothes that couples in their passionate love period wear?"
"I don't know, I just look at the short skirt!"
The audience burst into laughter, and Dongqiang commented: "The police shouldn't have let you out!"
I got home at 8 o'clock yesterday and slept until 12 o'clock noon today. I made up for a week's sleep!
(End of this chapter)
